Deeply irritating people

[The-Sir]

Whys that then? I'm scouse and I think the Irish are fucking great.

[Ginny]

Whys that then? I'm scouse and I think the Irish are fucking great.

 

I'm Scouse and i think the Irish are great. Scousers who think they are Irish do my head in, the ones who are constantly trying to prove that they have Irish blood in them from somewhere. I seem to come across a lot of these

[The-Sir]

Oh right! Misunderstood mate. Dont know why you would get deeply irritated by it though, theres a lot more annoying people in the world. Big Issue sellers / Charity workers for instance. They always seem to come up to me over everyone else in the street. Both as bad as each other.

[Dr Arthur De Sabre]

I get asked and have even been told I'm irish, (by some bnutty auld bird who lived in ireland till she was 2 before fucking off to melbourne) and as a proud scouser it's fucking ga;;ing to have to keep pointing out that I am in fact english - yer typical sydneysider doesn't aprreciate what the fuck a scouser is, especially with my connery style lisp - ah yer a scousher/scoucher - if they haven't heard of the beatles or LFC I have to just grin and go yeah english, we don't all sound like southern cunts yer know.

 

It can be amusing to drop into the paddy lilt every now and again tho, to fuck with dipshits who think all of England sounds like eastenders.

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

I get asked and have even been told I'm irish, (by some bnutty auld bird who lived in ireland till she was 2 before fucking off to melbourne) and as a proud scouser it's fucking ga;;ing to have to keep pointing out that I am in fact english - yer typical sydneysider doesn't aprreciate what the fuck a scouser is, especially with my connery style lisp - ah yer a scousher/scoucher - if they haven't heard of the beatles or LFC I have to just grin and go yeah english, we don't all sound like southern cunts yer know.

 

It can be amusing to drop into the paddy lilt every now and again tho, to fuck with dipshits who think all of England sounds like eastenders.

 

It's probably the little leprechaun outfit that throws them, mate.

[Trumo]

Welsh and Scottish people who constantly bang on about how proud they are to be Welsh/Scottish. You know the type. The ones who mumble the National Anthem because they don't know the words, thus looking like a tit (John Redwood syndrome), paint their faces whenever there is a rugby international, and give their kids names like Dewi or Ewan. Yet these same people are more than happy to live and work in London because of a "lack of opportunities" back home, or because the slower lifestyle doesn't suit them. They are proud of where they're from, yet they would rather not be there if at all possible. I've singled out the Welsh and Scots because they seem the most prominent when it comes to this.

[melons]

Welsh and Scottish people who constantly bang on about how proud they are to be Welsh/Scottish. You know the type. The ones who mumble the National Anthem because they don't know the words, thus looking like a tit (John Redwood syndrome), paint their faces whenever there is a rugby international, and give their kids names like Dewi or Ewan. Yet these same people are more than happy to live and work in London because of a "lack of opportunities" back home, or because the slower lifestyle doesn't suit them. They are proud of where they're from, yet they would rather not be there if at all possible. I've singled out the Welsh and Scots because they seem the most prominent when it comes to this.

 

Name's have almost lost all meaning though unless you go to a traditional celtic name that most English people can't pronounce.

 

I'd have no problem with calling a child Llinos or Dafydd should i of chosen to live in England when they were born, same way i was in Wales when i had Lydia and Oscar. I also gave them basics of the welsh language (before they started school for a short time in England) and did bang on at them about being proud of where they are from.

 

Most i would know that live away would love to be home, the options here are limited. Average wage is shit, house prices are a piss take and way beyond most incomes. People live away to make the most of things. If people could afford to live here and have the convenience a city offers instead of knowing the simplest task of a weeks shop is over a 2 hour round trip do you think they'd not be home in a second?

 

 

Your generalisation could almost be turned on to the scousennss of those that no longer live in Liverpool but go on about it being the best city in the world.

[dirty_sanchez]

I only know one person called Clive. He's not a bell per se, but there's something about him which really irritates me. He's a fairly nice inoffensive kind fo guy, but something really grates on me.

 

It's probably his name to be fair.

[She Knows It]

I've been working with some bloke this week delivering a course. He's ex-military and even though he's old now (late 60s) you can see he's still in shape. He's gone on and on for 2 days about how fit he is, and how he teaches scuba diving, paragliding, canoeing and loads of other outdoor pursuits. We've had chapter and verse on his illustrious army career where he taught Arctic survival skills in the North Pole for 6 years, served in Northern Ireland and Aden, blah, blah, blah. He's waffled about his £2 million property portfolio, his 40 grand car, and also reckons he teaches dancing every night and earns £400 for a 2 hour class 6 nights a week. I wondered why he was working every day for £100 a day, when he could bring home 4 times as much for 2 hour's work.

 

He didn't come in today. I asked where he was and was told he'd rung in and said he couldn't get in because of the snow. We'd had less than 1cm. Arctic survival expert, my eye.

[Anubis]

I think you have to question his inability to deal with the snow given his Arctic survival training, if only so we can hear about how he grappled with the escaped polar bear. You cannot deny us this, Liz.

[Section_31]

I've been working with some bloke this week delivering a course. He's ex-military and even though he's old now (late 60s) you can see he's still in shape. He's gone on and on for 2 days about how fit he is, and how he teaches scuba diving, paragliding, canoeing and loads of other outdoor pursuits. We've had chapter and verse on his illustrious army career where he taught Arctic survival skills in the North Pole for 6 years, served in Northern Ireland and Aden, blah, blah, blah. He's waffled about his £2 million property portfolio, his 40 grand car, and also reckons he teaches dancing every night and earns £400 for a 2 hour class 6 nights a week. I wondered why he was working every day for £100 a day, when he could bring home 4 times as much for 2 hour's work.

 

He didn't come in today. I asked where he was and was told he'd rung in and said he couldn't get in because of the snow. We'd had less than 1cm. Arctic survival expert, my eye.

 

I wish he was my dad.

[Paulie Dangerously]

I used to know a lad with similar Military lies. We called him GI Jay and he used to go on about how he was building sniper paintballs guns and how he went on special ops etc. One day he took me to one side and said he wouldn't be in because the TA had rang him and asked him to come out of retirement (he was in his 20s) and train some new recruits as the established trainers weren't up to it. He was spotted that week in a chippy in Orrell Park by the cleaning girl I flirted with

 

He also claimed he had some sort of brain syndrome which would cause him to die at a young aid. He died about 2 years later but I don't know if it was due to the syndrome that was named after him

[Trumo]

I've been working with some bloke this week delivering a course. He's ex-military and even though he's old now (late 60s) you can see he's still in shape. He's gone on and on for 2 days about how fit he is, and how he teaches scuba diving, paragliding, canoeing and loads of other outdoor pursuits. We've had chapter and verse on his illustrious army career where he taught Arctic survival skills in the North Pole for 6 years, served in Northern Ireland and Aden, blah, blah, blah. He's waffled about his £2 million property portfolio, his 40 grand car, and also reckons he teaches dancing every night and earns £400 for a 2 hour class 6 nights a week. I wondered why he was working every day for £100 a day, when he could bring home 4 times as much for 2 hour's work.

 

He didn't come in today. I asked where he was and was told he'd rung in and said he couldn't get in because of the snow. We'd had less than 1cm. Arctic survival expert, my eye.

 

I think you have to question his inability to deal with the snow given his Arctic survival training, if only so we can hear about how he grappled with the escaped polar bear. You cannot deny us this, Liz.

 

I wish he was my dad.

 

Almost sounds like Sir Ranulph Fiennes! Did he have any missing digits?

[William_Ulsterman]

Scousers who want to be Irish do my head in.

 

what about irish who want to be scousers?

[Unrighteous]

Almost everyone in my University course.

[Unrighteous]

Oh! This trainer from my gym. I don't really talk to him much, other than the 'hi', but he's claimed just about everything under the sun as his experience and training. I mean EVERYTHING. He claimed to have worked as a fitness coach for a football club, trains mix martial artists, boxers, rugby teams, olympic lifters, etc. Says he knows just about everything there is to know about fitness.

 

He's claimed all sorts of shit, like he's won all these powerlifting competitions, and used to be in bodybuilding, and a fitness model... (he looks fat, not built) and whatnot...

 

If he knew all these things, and had all this experience, and made all these top contacts, then something tells me he would at least have his own gym... and not just be a trainer at his age.

[William_Ulsterman]

 

?

[Curly]

Some class tales on here. I had a mate a few years ago who I met in the call centre I worked in while at uni. He told us he used to be in the Marines, where as the truth was he still lived at home and would come round to ours when he should have been at TA so he could pocket the bus fare his mum had given him. He was obsessed with the military so we called him "The Colonel". He also said he could run the 100m in just under 10 seconds in his pomp, knocked out a busy who came round and acted a prick to him when he was locked out of his own house, and the worst one, which I ashamedly fell for, was that he owed drug dealers £100 and he was going to get his legs broke. I lent him the cash! Fuck me, naivety at its best!

 

He was a nightmare when we'd go into town too as he turned into a proper weirdo when he'd have a bevvy. He'd try and look hard all the time. Once he got his TA card out to some students in a club and pointed to it menacingly.

 

Another time he was smoking a ciggy in a multi-story lift and an older guy gets in with us. The guy says, "For future reference, you shouldn't smoke in confined spaces when there is other people there" and The Colonel goes, "Err, for future reference, can you run 10 mile?" in his heavy Yorkshire accent. What the fuck that had to do with it I'll never know.

 

He was a pain in the arse to be around, but fuuny as fuck when talking about things he said or did with your mates, and to be fair, I did actually like him a bit because he had a heart of gold

[The Golden Eel]

My mate started going out with this bird a while back. They went for a fry one morning with his bro and his bird and she just got bread, mushrooms, egg but no meat claiming she was a vegetarian...

 

Later on that day they went to the chip shop and she ordered a cheeseburger, wolfed it all down like nothing was wrong and said nothing about her alleged veggie status?

 

On the same day like? Nutcase...

[The Golden Eel]

I also once knew this absolute lunatic who lied constantly. Said he shagged his sister when she was asleep... Supposed to be a good thing apparently...

[Curly]

I also once knew this absolute lunatic who lied constantly. Said he shagged his sister when she was asleep... Supposed to be a good thing apparently...

 

That reminds me about my mate who said he knew someone back home who liked people to think he was a bit mental. He told my mate 2 fucked up stories:

 

1)That on his stag do, his mates pinned down a random lad who they didn't know and he sucked him off

 

2)That one night he took the dog for a walk and came across a party. He went in, but got kicked out after a bit as nobody knew him, so he took his dog on the lawn outside the front window of the house and 69'd his it in full view of the party.

 

Sounds like utter shite to me, but a man to avoid at all costs if true. Unless you're on a night out and haven't managed to snag any birds!

[Trumo]

Some class tales on here. I had a mate a few years ago who I met in the call centre I worked in while at uni. He told us he used to be in the Marines, where as the truth was he still lived at home and would come round to ours when he should have been at TA so he could pocket the bus fare his mum had given him. He was obsessed with the military so we called him "The Colonel". He also said he could run the 100m in just under 10 seconds in his pomp, knocked out a busy who came round and acted a prick to him when he was locked out of his own house, and the worst one, which I ashamedly fell for, was that he owed drug dealers £100 and he was going to get his legs broke. I lent him the cash! Fuck me, naivety at its best!

 

He was a nightmare when we'd go into town too as he turned into a proper weirdo when he'd have a bevvy. He'd try and look hard all the time. Once he got his TA card out to some students in a club and pointed to it menacingly.

 

Another time he was smoking a ciggy in a multi-story lift and an older guy gets in with us. The guy says, "For future reference, you shouldn't smoke in confined spaces when there is other people there" and The Colonel goes, "Err, for future reference, can you run 10 mile?" in his heavy Yorkshire accent. What the fuck that had to do with it I'll never know.

 

He was a pain in the arse to be around, but fuuny as fuck when talking about things he said or did with your mates, and to be fair, I did actually like him a bit because he had a heart of gold

 

There's a story!

[Unrighteous]

Those last two(Belarus & Dim)... What the fuck?

[Wor Horse]

Some lad I know is adamant he sells shirts and scarfs outside the ground of a match day with Paul Walsh and Alan Ball.

[Sugar Ape]

I used to work with a bad liar who didn't come into work for a week, no phone call saying he would be off or anything, when he came back into work his excuse was his bird had just had a baby.

 

As far as we all knew he was single, so the boss said go home and have your two weeks paternity leave and we phoned his house when he left. Call went like this.

 

Boss : Hello is Chris there.

 

Sister : No, this is his sister can I take a message?

 

Boss : This is his boss, I was just checking if him and the baby are OK?

 

Sister : What baby?

 

Boss : He told us his girlfriend has had a baby.

 

Sister : I've never even know him to have a girlfriend,much less a baby.

 

Boss : Sorry, my mistake.

 

The mad thing is when my boss got him back in to bollock him he was adamant that his sister was " winding us up" and he did have a kid, which he never mentioned again for the next four years he worked with us.