Worst book you've ever read.

[The Chief]

I've just spotted a book I got sent, (without asking for it), from one of those book clubs. It's gotta be the worst book ever written, it's called House of Leaves by some talentless twat named Mark Z. Danielewski. I never actually finished it cos it's so bad, it's supposed to be a horror story, it's 600+ pages long, but about 120 pages have got one line of text, for example, page 217, Behind (just one word on the page) p218, the man, p219, are slamming shut, p220, one, p221, after, p222, another, p223, after, p224, another. Fucking gripping isn't it? it goes on for 21 pages like that. And they actually have other authors saying how good this book is on the cover and that, lying twats. If any of you find that interesting, let me know, you can have the fucker.

The book club also sent me: 1001 films to see before you die, and, a Gordon Ramsay cookbook!!! I never paid for a single one of them, and sent them a letter telling them 'If you think I'm paying for the shite you're sending me, you can fuck right off', they stopped sending me books after that

[Paul]

I usually just give up on shit books. The only time I've ever persevered with stuff I don't like is for educational purposes. All that 19th century "classic" chick lit bores the arse off me, for a start.

[Red_Jim83]

Ann and Barry...

[The Chief]

I usually just give up on shit books. The only time I've ever persevered with stuff I don't like is for educational purposes. All that 19th century "classic" chick lit bores the arse off me, for a start.

 

I gave up on it before i was even halfway through Paul, I just didn't care what happened, and to enjoy a book you have to care about the characters or the plotline.

[madstock]

I always try to give the author the "benefit of the doubt", as I have read many "slow burners" that start off really slowly but end up gripping me... however there is one exception.

 

"The Magic Cottage" by James Herbert (hardly High Literature, I know but one of the genres that I am addicted to is horror) - how this book managed to get past several editors, sub-editors, publishers, and even the author's own sense of pride in his work, I will never know.

 

I have read the entire output of Mr Herbert, and some of his stuff is absolutely fantastic (The Rats Trilogy, Nobody True, '48 etc.), with a fair few titles being a bit hit-and-miss but still readable (Once, Portent etc.) -The Magic Cottage, however left me seethingly angry after a couple of hundred pages due to poor characters and a shoddy plot, which he seemingly tried to excuse with badly conceived sex. Utter bollocks, it was.

[DT]

Lord of the Rings. 20 pages in and Tolkien was still in his intro.

[AK78]

Birdsong by S.Faulkes.... I know loads of people that said it was a brilliant book and one of their all time favourites, but it just didn't hold my attention. I hate not finishing books so I ended up skim reading it, and gave it away to my sister when I 'finished' it

[The Chief]

I always try to give the author the "benefit of the doubt", as I have read many "slow burners" that start off really slowly but end up gripping me... however there is one exception.

 

"The Magic Cottage" by James Herbert (hardly High Literature, I know but one of the genres that I am addicted to is horror) - how this book managed to get past several editors, sub-editors, publishers, and even the author's own sense of pride in his work, I will never know.

 

I have read the entire output of Mr Herbert, and some of his stuff is absolutely fantastic (The Rats Trilogy, Nobody True, '48 etc.), with a fair few titles being a bit hit-and-miss but still readable (Once, Portent etc.) -The Magic Cottage, however left me seethingly angry after a couple of hundred pages due to poor characters and a shoddy plot, which he seemingly tried to excuse with badly conceived sex. Utter bollocks, it was.

 

I've read that and feel I must agree with your whole post Mr Madstock, the thing about this book is that some of the characters were anagrams of some of his books, as in : Star=the Rats, among others (I can't quite remember them all now). I too am a big fan of James Herbert one of my favourit books is The Spear, still think it's a cracking read.

[Spy Bee]

Lord of the Rings. 20 pages in and Tolkien was still in his intro.

 

I had a dream about Lord of the Rings last night. I was Tolien in my sleep.

 

Worst book - read something by Roy Hattersley once, it was fucking boring - I never picked another book up for over a year.

[madstock]

I've read that and feel I must agree with your whole post Mr Madstock, the thing about this book is that some of the characters were anagrams of some of his books, as in : Star=the Rats, among others (I can't quite remember them all now). I too am a big fan of James Herbert one of my favourit books is The Spear, still think it's a cracking read.

 

Mr The Chief - I have shouted this from the rooftops, and I am in no way connected to the chap, but have you read any Richard Laymon?

 

Top, top horror author who has yet to write a lemon. (And due to being deceased is not likely to now, either).

[The Chief]

Mr The Chief - I have shouted this from the rooftops, and I am in no way connected to the chap, but have you read any Richard Laymon?

 

Top, top horror author who has yet to write a lemon. (And due to being deceased is not likely to now, either).

 

I'm sure I've read some of his books, mate, but I can't for the life of me remember which.

Also, why have you gone all Secret Squirrel? No avatar, and no public profile? (Which is why I haven't mentioned your first name, George)

[madstock]

I'm sure I've read some of his books, mate, but I can't for the life of me remember which.

Also, why have you gone all Secret Squirrel? No avatar, and no public profile? (Which is why I haven't mentioned your first name, George)

 

Ah, if I told you I would have to kill you...

 

Actually I have been a big whoremoanal gayer for the past few days and have been keeping myself "under the radar".

 

Sod that, though.

[GUS]

Catcher In The Rye is shit. Avoid!

[L19red]

on the road by jack kerouac. Supposed to be the spokesperson of a generation. In actual fact the writer of such absolute shite that you have to be stoned out of your brains in order to get past the first couple of chapters. Sal paradise can go and fuck himself. I'll never get back the hour of my life i wasted on this bilge before i gave up.

[L19red]

Catcher In The Rye is shit. Avoid!

 

 

controversial. personally i liked it, but I can see how it polarises opinion.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Fuckin Bastard Man and Cunting Boy by Tony Twatting Parsehole.

 

I'd give him a proper Billy Bats kicking for the hours of my life that he wasted.

[Section_31]

I've never read a shit book because as soon as I realise they're shit, I stop reading and send them to Oxfam.

[Bloodred]

on the road by jack kerouac. Supposed to be the spokesperson of a generation. In actual fact the writer of such absolute shite that you have to be stoned out of your brains in order to get past the first couple of chapters. Sal paradise can go and fuck himself. I'll never get back the hour of my life i wasted on this bilge before i gave up.

 

I just got this for xmas but havn't started it yet, still gonna give it a go. Anybody got any veras?

[G Richards]

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

 

I had read all of the Potter books along the way, but I suppose by the time this last one came around I was just fed up with it all. I couldn't see past the poor (in my humble opinion) writing, and after about 100 pages I thought I really should be doing something better with my time.

 

Like spending it on here... :whistle:

[Stouffer]

Piggy goes oink.

[L19red]

I just got this for xmas but havn't started it yet, still gonna give it a go. Anybody got any veras?

 

 

good luck with it. I just couldn't get into it at all.

[Karl_b]

The only book I remember ever putting down and never finishing is Catch 22. It's probably a great book but my word it takes ages to get going.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

The only book I remember ever putting down and never finishing is Catch 22. It's probably a great book but my word it takes ages to get going.

That's a great book - pick it up again - but on no condition ever, ever consider reading the sequel, Closing Time!

[DT]

Catcher In The Rye is shit. Avoid!

 

Wrong wrong wrong.

[L19red]

The only book I remember ever putting down and never finishing is Catch 22. It's probably a great book but my word it takes ages to get going.

 

yep. I never finished this book.