Nonsensical tiresome office conversations

[Remmie]

This morning I have enjoyed listening with wonderment and intrigue to the following conversations:

 

- When I was pregnant ever notice this...Don't get me started on Breastfeeding

- My hair looked really bad but now it's OK

- Low fat foods including Veggie Pate

 

Oh to work in my office

[Gav]

This morning I have enjoyed listening with wonderment and intrigue to the following conversations:

 

- When I was pregnant ever notice this...Don't get me started on Breastfeeding

- My hair looked really bad but now it's OK

- Low fat foods including Veggie Pate

 

Oh to work in my office

 

Lucky you

 

Bird at the desk behind me decided that she'd bring her baby into the office for the day for whatever reason .Its currently bawling meaning every phonecall I'm taking is being taken outside in the hallway !!!!

[Duff Man]

That sounds interesting compared to the shite I have to listen to.

 

It usually goes something like this:

 

Sad cunt1 - Hey I wired up my 5000 killer watt double quick edge subfoofer last night

 

Sad cunt2 - Wow, how much power did you put through them?

 

Sad cunt1 - Oh about 3000 killer watts, it melted the solder on the bass tray. It was intense

 

Sad cunt2 - Yeah that's bad (as in good) man. I'm getting my new head unit and 10000watt super amp this weekend

 

And on, and on and on and on it goes. All fucking day.

[RJ Fan club]

In my office the admin lot are locked in a neighbours moving to channel 5 debate of the highest order.

 

They are in a panic it may ceased to be shown for 6 months like when Home and Away moved.

 

Give me strength

[Remmie]

I would like to apologise for the unnecessary hyphen use in the thread title

[plonky]

In my office the admin lot are locked in a neighbours moving to channel 5 debate of the highest order.

 

They are in a panic it may ceased to be shown for 6 months like when Home and Away moved.

 

How dare you diss neighbours. How dare some tennis knock it temporarily off air :notamused:

[Section_31]

Working in a call centre with middle-aged women is all the hell you can be.

 

I left a job after four days because of the mundane shite i was sunjected to.

 

I had to listen to conversations about conservatories, their husbands' jobs, and at one point had to look at photgraphs of someones kid in a football kit.

[RJ Fan club]

How dare you diss neighbours. How dare some tennis knock it temporarily off air :notamused:

 

It not neighbours I knocking (whatever floats your boat), its the pointless conversation to avoid work by our admin section that annoys me.

 

its alright they have moved on to Eldorado now. Having briefly paused for breath and with a small interlude about the Air con.

[Owen]

This is an email conversation I had with Jodie from the other room one afternoon a few months back:

 

 

They’re having a really in-depth conversation about tin baths.

 

 

how random is that? what did that have to do with the bottom of some-ones back?ha,ha.

 

 

Something about not rinsing cleaning chemicals off properly and burning their arses. Rob's convinced they're coming back into fashion - tin baths, not burnt arses.

 

 

Well if they do im not purchasing one!! As if they will ever come back into fashion! Your crackin me up.wots cleaning chemicals all about?

 

 

Well apparently you need special cleaners for enamel baths, but they used the wrong stuff. Which caused some discomfort!

 

They then, fascinatingly, moved onto talking about mangles. This is all after the 31523rd debate about the merits of George Foreman grilling machines.

 

 

Now im really disturbed about this, wots a mangle got to do with a george foreman grilling machine?! It sounds like they evidently had too many school trips to eden camp.did they have to use carbolic soap or was that before tin baths?.

 

 

What's the difference between carbolic soap and normal soap?

 

The conversation was George Foreman grilling machines -> Tin Baths -> Mangles. I don't understand, but then that's probably a good thing.

 

 

Well I think, back in the days of tin baths and mangles, people used to buy carbolic soap because it was cheaper and you could wash your clothes with it aswell as yourself! I think you bought a block of it n then peeled bits off it with some sort of dodgy knife into warm water! Apparently it was horrible though!(learn summat everyday)ha,ha.

 

 

Ah, excellent knowledge! You actually remember Eden Camp stuff then. Sounds like good stuff.

 

 

Well I don’t really know how or why carbolic soap came into my head (random). Have you not been to eden camp? (you've not lived)!

 

 

I think so. Back when I was about 12. That's this year's xmas party sorted then!

 

 

We will have to have the ultimate eden camp quiz ha,ha. (andrew might not win then)! What with robs excellent knowledge of tin baths etc we should have cracked it!

 

 

Don't, whatever you do, mention quizzes in here. They're still a little bitter!

 

 

How bad is my life right now?ive just been on phone to a lady and had an immense choking session and had to run off, rose had to take phone off me ha,ha. Well can we vow to never let andrew be the quizz master again because I will seriously top myself if I have to sit through that again!

 

 

I'd take the day off tomorrow if I were you and build snowmen! Did you phone her back to say you were still alive?

 

Poor Andrew - I think he means well, but he's just too much of an arsehole at times.

 

I mentioned carbolic soap, and that set them off for a good 15 minutes - did you know there were two-tub washing machines 'back in the day' - one for washing and one for spinning? What an interesting afternoon!

 

 

No I didn’t know that! I just thought u plunged n scrubbed wi one of them wash boards! Well did you know that 'back in the day' people only had 1 bucket per street to use as a toilet and that’s how the cholera epidemic started?! I havent plucked up courage to ring her back!

[Remmie]

Working in a call centre with middle-aged women is all the hell you can be.

 

I left a job after four days because of the mundane shite i was sunjected to.

 

I had to listen to conversations about conservatories, their husbands' jobs, and at one point had to look at photgraphs of someones kid in a football kit.

a football kit? Luxury, I dream of footie kits here. Instead I have to feign interest in pictures of kids graduating (from nursery- what's that aboot?)and playing in blue bells. Good for him he's 4! Grrrrrr

[AngryOfTuebrook]

One of my mates works in an office with about 12 women, who all decided it'd be really good to bring their wedding albums in on the same day.

 

I reckon that's what Hell will be like.

[Strontium]

Thread reminds me of this legendary site:

 

http://www.themanwhofellasleep.com/gossip.html

[RJ Fan club]

A woman who sits behind me must be the loudest cow on the fucking earth.

 

So far today I have had to put up with storys about:

 

1. Her tooth being chipped when she was 6 (it was a fucking baby tooth)

2. Her new born grand daugther and how they were convinced she was going to be a boy even though her daughter in law had a scan and the doctor/midwife told the parents it was a fucking girl.

3. When she went to the nurbur-ring (sp) for a lap of the course with her dickhead son (a story I have heard on no less than approx 879 times since she done it three years ago)

4. The house purchase story, fucking again (we thought we'd heard the last of that bastard when she moved in 6 months ago, no way everytime someone moves home we fucking get that one)

 

I could scream!!!

[hamstrung]

Thread reminds me of this legendary site:

 

http://www.themanwhofellasleep.com/gossip.html

 

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/

 

think that is similar.

[Remmie]

News just in: Duck-egg blue, does NOT, repeat does NOT go with mustard. To allude that it does it quite frankly ridiculous!

[RJ Fan club]

News just in: Duck-egg blue, does NOT, repeat does NOT go with mustard. To allude that it does it quite frankly ridiculous!

 

I've had the house purchase story again today :telloff:

[TonyTNT]

This morning I have enjoyed listening with wonderment and intrigue to the following conversations:

 

- When I was pregnant ever notice this...Don't get me started on Breastfeeding

- My hair looked really bad but now it's OK

- Low fat foods including Veggie Pate

 

Oh to work in my office

 

Mate thats like an audience with the Bee Gees compared to my every day ritual sat listening to the funking buffoons around me talk about what level they are now on in World Of Wankcraft. I'm all for some past time game action but for the love of baby Jesus, take 5 minutes away from your PC and the grooming of little boys who think your a real wizard and look outside, its a big beautiful world.

[Cath]

I'm by myself today. Conversation's great.

[RJ Fan club]

I'm by myself today. Conversation's great.

 

 

I used to love having my own office till I moved here to an open plan jobbie.

 

I would actually kill for my own office, except I would probably just get a single cell if I did.

[Thants]

In our office theres constant moaning about the planning office. Damn right, too.

[RJ Fan club]

In our office theres constant moaning about the planning office. Damn right, too.

 

yeah they are all cunts over there,

 

Mind you, what would you know about it your seafront ivory tower? what the hell is a HR Systems Officer anyway? its waffle job title. You should get your finger out of your arse and do a bit for a change. pfft HR what a load of shite

[Mark P]

Work at home...radio, tea/coffee and cats for company.

[Thants]

yeah they are all cunts over there,

 

Mind you, what would you know about it your seafront ivory tower? what the hell is a HR Systems Officer anyway? its waffle job title. You should get your finger out of your arse and do a bit for a change. pfft HR what a load of shite

 

I can amend your absence record and have you sacked. Or stop paying you. I can do a lot MWA HA HA HA HA.

[wiiksie]

I can amend your absence record and have you sacked. Or stop paying you. I can do a lot MWA HA HA HA HA.

Where exactly do you and RJ work then Nick?

[RJ Fan club]

I can amend your absence record and have you sacked. Or stop paying you. I can do a lot MWA HA HA HA HA.

 

pay me more, I fecking great and worth it, honest guv.

 

p.s I can compulsory purchase your house and have it knocked down and you won't get market value hahahahahahahahhahahahaha*

 

 

 

 

 

 

* snag is it would take me years