Quantcast
Do you like Christmas? - Page 16 - GF - General Forum - The Liverpool Way Jump to content

Welcome to the new and improved TLW!

 

Some of you may experience issues logging in and will get an 'incorrect password' error. Don't worry, you haven't typed it in wrong and your password hasn't been changed. You will need to reset it though in order to log in. Click the reset password link and you will receive an email with your new temporary password. Once logged in, you need to choose a new password (or restore to your old one) otherwise you will be locked out again.

 

If you have an out of date email address linked to your account, then you won't receive the new password. If that's the case then you'll need to email me (dave @liverpoolway.co.uk) or send me a tweet @theliverpoolway and I'll update your password manually. 

 

Any other problems or questions just let me know.

 

Thanks

Dave

Guest TK-421

Do you like Christmas?

Do you like Christmas  

80 members have voted

  1. 1. Do you like Christmas

    • Yes - peace and goodwill to all men, women, children and squid
    • No - fuck the whole thing off


Recommended Posts

1 hour ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

So I'm supposed to be spending Christmas Day with my mother this year,  our kidder has fucked off for a 3 week cruise round the Bahamas and it's left up to muggins here to look after the old girl. 

 

First thing this morning I phone my mother to ask if she has any bread, no answer. I phone back, still no answer. I phone her land line and then her mobile again, still no fucking answer. 

Fuck this, I get a taxi round. 

 

Finally get in after almost 30 minutes of buzzing the intercom. 

 

When I do get in, she's oblivious, fannying around on her computer. Deaf as a fucking post cos she hadn't put her hearing aids in. 

 

So I decide to make some bacon  sarnies; I've brought my big  frying pan and spatter guard, brought the oil and bacon, my ma tells me there's bread in the bread bin. 

And there is: 4 stale half loaves, each rock hard, and 1 unopened loaf which has black mould on it. 

Bin the fucking lot. Zero bacon, zero breakfast. 

 

Next is some tidying up. In my mother's little 2 bedroom flat and there's just assorted Shite strewn everywhere. Seriously there's just no fucking need for her messiness, just taking the fucking piss. It takes me the best part of an hour to clean her shit up, haven't even sat down yet. 

 

Next thing she's got for me is to fix her 2 Android boxes. OK, sleeves rolled up, takes me 45 minutes. 

 

Next thing I've got to make the dinner. Okay, done that. 

 

Finally get to sit down and watch a film, fancy this new one, Bad Times at The El Royale. Stick it on and after 5 minutes she says she needs to go for a shit, or should I say ANOTHER shit, because this is the 4th one in the past 4 hours! Then she starts giving me a blow by blow, or should that be a squirt by squirt account of her latest bowel movement. 

Just waiting for the Care staff to arrive and I am thoroughly fucking sick as a cunt. Can't wait to get back home, turn my fucking phone off and hit the drink. 

Happy fucking Christmas. 

 

Have a looking after a stubborn parent solidarity rep. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Cockney Wanker's ST is that bit to the immediate right of the away end. I remember seeing Hillsborough signs from there in the past. Utter cunt.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Chip Butty said:

All done. Feeling, sad, proud, touched and chuffed, all in equal measure with today. Met some great people who, sadly for them, have been dealt a shit hand by life and one refugee lad from Afghanistan, who was so thankful, it almost brought a tear to this swinging brick of a blokes, eye. The lads been here just over a month and no one will talk to him where his bedsit is, as he's 'foreign'. Gave the kid a lift home and he told me that this is the most conversation he's had in the entire month he's been here and how he enjoyed the music, the food but most of all, the company.

 

Me and Mrs Butty have both agreed we will be doing this again next year.

 

Photies of the small hall we helped set up and my trifle taking pride of place on the dessert table. It went down a treat, so chuffed with that, even more so as the Afghan lad had never had trifle before and he loved it. The most fulfilling  and rewarding Christmases Ive ever had.  Now to cook mine. 

 

 

 

 

IMG_1452.JPG

IMG_1453.JPG

And extra marks for going to the effort of actually bringing in something homemade. Nothing says love more than that 

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Numero Veinticinco said:

Ah, mate. I know how hard it is to look after a parent but you’re doing the right thing. 

Right thing ? After 6 and a half hours of constant nagging I've had enough, left 3 hours earlier than intended and walked home. Blocked her number, enough's enough. Good luck to you mother, have a nice life.

 

Next year I'll be off somewhere warm and uncontactable.

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If ye don’t like Christmas then you’re a helmet. What’s not to like about having a few days off on the booze, eating shit loads and dossing about. I don’t trust any Tory cunt who doesn’t like Xmas. 

  • Downvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
20 minutes ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Right thing ? After 6 and a half hours of constant nagging I've had enough, left 3 hours earlier than intended and walked home. Blocked her number, enough's enough. Good luck to you mother, have a nice life.

 

Next year I'll be off somewhere warm and uncontactable.

Mate, sorry to hear that. Is she able to look after herself? She isn’t going to starve or anything? 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

After an absolutely shit year due to losing my dad and having some more awful news a few weeks back, today has been a great one.

 

Got engaged this morning, cooked Christmas dinner and it went completely to plan and everyone was happy and I’m now off to the pub.

 

I though this Christmas would be shit but it’s turned into a very happy one.

  • Upvote 11

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
16 minutes ago, Ginny said:

If ye don’t like Christmas then you’re a helmet. What’s not to like about having a few days off on the booze, eating shit loads and dossing about. I don’t trust any Tory cunt who doesn’t like Xmas. 

Depends what else you have to tolerate.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
30 minutes ago, Carvalho Diablo said:

Right thing ? After 6 and a half hours of constant nagging I've had enough, left 3 hours earlier than intended and walked home. Blocked her number, enough's enough. Good luck to you mother, have a nice life.

 

Next year I'll be off somewhere warm and uncontactable.

I come across this quite a lot. You're completely right, looking after parents (or anyone for that matter) can be quite demanding and can have a huge toll on our wellbeing. I think this whole 100% in or out is probably an unrealistic solution for you in the long term and that's based on my experience working with people. Take today as your credit, you've done an amazing job helping her out and sharing Christmas with her. You've helped with the upkeep of the house and identified areas where carers could help or assist (e.g. bread/food management). You've put her before you and that's something to be super proud of so here's to you my friend. Right now, get yourself some rest, relax and recharge. Spend tomorrow on you, your family and watch the mighty reds. It's all about balance and it's important that you put just the same amount of energy into you and what you enjoy. 

 

 

1 minute ago, Fugitive said:

After an absolutely shit year due to losing my dad and having some more awful news a few weeks back, today has been a great one.

 

Got engaged this morning, cooked Christmas dinner and it went completely to plan and everyone was happy and I’m now off to the pub.

 

I though this Christmas would be shit but it’s turned into a very happy one.

 

Sorry to hear about your loss mate but congrats on your new journey. I'm sure your dad's looking down on you and thinking he couldn't have raised a better lad. Keep your chin up, you've got a lot of memories to look back on and be happy about and many more to make. All the best. 

 

Alright lads, I've downed two bottles of wine and I'm now officially open for providing emotional support and well wishes. Who's up next? 

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

@Seasons I’ve got an itchy arse, I’ve run out of Cetavlex and the Savlon I bought just isn’t doing the same job. It’s a minor irritation that I could do without. Help. 

That sounds horrific. Maybe use the head of whatever the fuck M_B has just eaten and scratch your arse with it? If that fails simply just spread your buttcheeks and grab a branch from the Christmas tree and wedge it firmly in there before relaxing. That should do the trick mate. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If all else fails just get Stig around to give you a tug. 

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So, my five year old has spent months watching other people on YouTube play Mario Party on Nintendo Switch and telling us how great a game it is. She got a Switch with Mario Party today and also a much bigger Smart TV for the bedroom. 

 

The Switch is plugged in in the living room. She’s had two twenty minute goes on it and all she wants to do is go upstairs, put YouTube on the new TV and watch other people play Mario Party.

 

Fuck sake.  

  • Upvote 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
32 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

@Seasons I’ve got an itchy arse, I’ve run out of Cetavlex and the Savlon I bought just isn’t doing the same job. It’s a minor irritation that I could do without. Help. 

 

1545606296690.jpg

 

Chainsaw fart is your friend.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
27 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

So, my five year old has spent months watching other people on YouTube play Mario Party on Nintendo Switch and telling us how great a game it is. She got a Switch with Mario Party today and also a much bigger Smart TV for the bedroom. 

 

The Switch is plugged in in the living room. She’s had two twenty minute goes on it and all she wants to do is go upstairs, put YouTube on the new TV and watch other people play Mario Party.

 

Fuck sake.  

Haha and that's the reason my daughters one got sold

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Cockney Wanker is downstairs and I have been instructed by Her Indoors to stay upstairs in Galactic HQ.

 

I will be patient and whatever time in the future I will nail that tosser at the apprpriate juncture.

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, tokyojoe said:

Cockney Wanker is downstairs and I have been instructed by Her Indoors to stay upstairs in Galactic HQ.

 

I will be patient and whatever time in the future I will nail that tosser at the apprpriate juncture.

I feel like I've missed half of this story. 

 

Who is Cockney Wanker and why does he get until your foreskin so easily? 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
33 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

So, my five year old has spent months watching other people on YouTube play Mario Party on Nintendo Switch and telling us how great a game it is. She got a Switch with Mario Party today and also a much bigger Smart TV for the bedroom. 

 

The Switch is plugged in in the living room. She’s had two twenty minute goes on it and all she wants to do is go upstairs, put YouTube on the new TV and watch other people play Mario Party.

 

Fuck sake.  

Ha. That sounds like my two lads. They constantly fall for the games that the youtubers promote. Saying that, they were playing Spiderman on the ps4 this afternoon and it's fucking ace!

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

She’s back on it now after I asked her if she wanted me to send it to Africa.

 

I’m leaving them to it while I pour myself a drink and then I’m gonna let her beat me on 1-2-Switch a few times so she thinks she’s really good at it. 

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, Seasons said:

I feel like I've missed half of this story. 

 

Who is Cockney Wanker and why does he get until your foreskin so easily? 

You have simply not being paying attention. Dave really has to do something about that. Cockney Wanker is Her indoor's vile niece's Chav supporting boyfriend who is an utter cunt.

 

I am sittiing on an office chair upstairswhich after a few hours gets a  bit tedious. Her Indoors quite rightly decided I should be isolated from said Chav twat..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
12 minutes ago, Creator Supreme said:

Christmas sucks crusty bellends and I'm no fucking tory!!

You’ve practically survived, CS

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
47 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

She’s back on it now after I asked her if she wanted me to send it to Africa.

 

I’m leaving them to it while I pour myself a drink and then I’m gonna let her beat me on 1-2-Switch a few times so she thinks she’s really good at it. 

Is that out of kindness or is there some strategy behind this?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×