Shit that happens now that didn't happen when you were a kid

[VladimirIlyich]

13 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Superb. 

 

The first point though .... the old jazz mags round ours had 'readers wives' with fannies that looked like rain soaked ewoks . Disgusting big bush bastards with all sorts of blood and thunder going on down there. The first time I fingered a girl I was scared it was gonna bite my hand off. I felt like Flash Gordon. 

Minge the merciless.

[Harry's Lad]

Just now, VladimirIlyich said:

Minge the merciless.

Excellent. 

[Davelfc]

On 01/12/2020 at 15:00, Dave D said:

Kids TV only being on around 4pm-6pm weekdays as opposed to 24 hours on any number of devices now 

I remember waiting for kids tv to start in school summer holidays, often watching the testcard and then if I remember correctly a countdown clock appear. 

 

I have tried to explain to my 7 year old granddaughter how we didn't have iPads, the internet, mobile phones or computers. I might as well be telling her we had feet for hands and ate soil, well some kids were known to.

 

If you wanted to know something then you had to walk to the library and grab several reference books. One of my favourite books I was given as a kid was an encyclopaedia, geeky but it saved me a long walk. Most of the stuff in it would be out of date now either through new discoveries or public opinion. 

 

 

[General Dryness]

1 hour ago, VladimirIlyich said:

Minge the merciless.

Dr Jerkov & Dale Hardon.

[Harry Squatter]

Purple Aki was almost like Keyser Soze, barely anyone knew what he looked like, seemed to have the ability to cover vast distances in short spaces of time and his reputation as a big scary weirdo terrified people. There was always rumours that he had been killed or he carved P into mens arses with a massive knife. 

 

Now his photos are all over the internet, he travels everywhere by train and he's just laughed at as some eccentric with a fixation about gyms. 

[Dave D]

4 hours ago, Jedd Drudge said:

I remember waiting for kids tv to start in school summer holidays, often watching the testcard and then if I remember correctly a countdown clock appear. 

 

I have tried to explain to my 7 year old granddaughter how we didn't have iPads, the internet, mobile phones or computers. I might as well be telling her we had feet for hands and ate soil, well some kids were known to.

 

If you wanted to know something then you had to walk to the library and grab several reference books. One of my favourite books I was given as a kid was an encyclopaedia, geeky but it saved me a long walk. Most of the stuff in it would be out of date now either through new discoveries or public opinion. 

 

 

Ive tried explaining it to my kids- its a shame, they lose out a little bit in my opinion but theres no going back- I cant imagine what will be available in another 20 years time    

 

Before the internet I remember using a home DIY mannual- they were really good covering all manner of stuff 

[Davelfc]

48 minutes ago, Dave D said:

Ive tried explaining it to my kids- its a shame, they lose out a little bit in my opinion but theres no going back- I cant imagine what will be available in another 20 years time    

 

Before the internet I remember using a home DIY mannual- they were really good covering all manner of stuff 

I had the reader's digest big red binder thingy, did so many DIY jobs with that book. I always did my worst Eamon Andrews impression when I picked it up. 

 

 

 

Now of course someone on the internet has a video on YouTube showing you how it is done. 

[Trumo]

4 hours ago, Doctor Troy said:

Purple Aki was almost like Keyser Soze, barely anyone knew what he looked like, seemed to have the ability to cover vast distances in short spaces of time and his reputation as a big scary weirdo terrified people. There was always rumours that he had been killed or he carved P into mens arses with a massive knife. 

 

Now his photos are all over the internet, he travels everywhere by train and he's just laughed at as some eccentric with a fixation about gyms. 

 

The greatest trick Purple Aki ever pulled was copping a feel of your muscles before you even knew he existed.

 

[Pete]

Dickheads that nearly walk into you because they are staring at their phone.

[tokyojoe]

24 minutes ago, Pete said:

Dickheads that nearly walk into you because they are staring at their phone.

Amen. Or in front of a car.

[Davelfc]

Parents pushing prams that are engrossed in their mobile phone, ignoring their sprog. 
 

I can only imagine how much these kids are ignored at home.

[clockspeed]

4 minutes ago, Jedd Drudge said:

Parents pushing prams that are engrossed in their mobile phone, ignoring their sprog. 
 

I can only imagine how much these kids are ignored at home.

An extra detail as above and shoving pram across road or pedestrian crossing whilst on Snapchat zero regard for the child that they have put at most risk i.e pram first 

[Dougie Do'ins]

 

On 02/12/2020 at 11:20, Rico1304 said:

Date night. Fuck off. 

Another Americanism that's crept into our lives. It'll be Thanks Giving next. Just wait and see. 

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

We can't have it both ways though. We can't, as a society, absorb all the best American music, Movies and TV, and remain uninfected by their bastardised English. Is death by a thousand cuts.

 

Cunts.

[Chip Butty]

If a Gender Reveal, party thing had happened back in the day, the father would have been properly twatted and the mother skull ragged and burned as a witch. 

 

Fuck off gender reveal parties. 

[Bjornebye]

3 minutes ago, Chip Butty said:

If a Gender Reveal, party thing had happened back in the day, the father would have been properly twatted and the mother skull ragged and burned as a witch. 

 

Fuck off gender reveal parties. 

Funny thing is, they'll probably be banned in a few years anyway 

[Chip Butty]

1 minute ago, Bjornebye said:

Funny thing is, they'll probably be banned in a few years anyway 

Maybe its just me, but I can't believe fella's put up with this shit. Your modern day bloke is a massive fanny. 

[AngryOfTuebrook]

5 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Funny thing is, they'll probably be banned in a few years anyway 

I fucking hope so.

[tokyojoe]

10 hours ago, Chip Butty said:

If a Gender Reveal, party thing had happened back in the day, the father would have been properly twatted and the mother skull ragged and burned as a witch. 

 

Fuck off gender reveal parties. 

I had to google to find out what a gender reveal party is.

 

Can things get any lower?

[Harry Squatter]

Baby Showers. Basically some bird inviting all her mates round to her house or another venue when she is about to drop a sprig in the coming weeks. All so she can cadge a load of presents and money off her mates. 

 

You'd normally just get some old dear knitting a few things and the odd card once the baby was born. Now stupid bints hire pubs out and turn it into a massive event that goes on social media.

[Section_31]

9 minutes ago, Doctor Troy said:

Baby Showers. Basically some bird inviting all her mates round to her house or another venue when she is about to drop a sprig in the coming weeks. All so she can cadge a load of presents and money off her mates. 

 

You'd normally just get some old dear knitting a few things and the odd card once the baby was born. Now stupid bints hire pubs out and turn it into a massive event that goes on social media.

Yeah it's a fucking scam. Gender reveal parties, name parties, baby showers. Gimme gimme gimme. Stop being a tramp and buy a second hand pram like everyone else.

[Bjornebye]

12 minutes ago, Doctor Troy said:

Baby Showers. Basically some bird inviting all her mates round to her house or another venue when she is about to drop a sprig in the coming weeks. All so she can cadge a load of presents and money off her mates. 

 

You'd normally just get some old dear knitting a few things and the odd card once the baby was born. Now stupid bints hire pubs out and turn it into a massive event that goes on social media.

To be fair I've had some good piss-ups as a result of baby showers over the years. "Its >enter name of empty head< baby shower next sunday so me and the girls will all be round hers for the afternoon" 

 

"Lads, we're on, pub at 12" 

[Mike D]

Men didnt even push prams back in the day.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

10 minutes ago, Mike D said:

Men didnt even push prams back in the day.

 

"He's 6 months now for christs sake, time he started carrying his own weight."

[Total Longo]

On 02/12/2020 at 09:54, Section_31 said:

Was chatting to someone from ITV recently and they said kids don't watch telly. I was flabbergasted, "What do you mean, they don't actually watch the telly?" "No, they watch Youtube and consume short clips of shit. We're trying to create new content accordingly." 

 

Fucking hell. 

This is true. My lads are 14 and 16 and they just constantly watch youtube and occasionally something on Netflix. Dinner table conversations have died a death, we're lucky to get a grunt out of them, as they shovel food in with one hand and watch youtube on their phones with the other 

 

On the plus side, i've just treated myself to a new 65" telly, so....