Featured: That was the week that was (May 12-18 2020)

[tlw content 9,950]

 

Tuesday May 12:

I saw this today and it pissed me right off. John Barnes told a story about swapping shirts with Cantona after the 96 FA Cup Final and that Neil Ruddock nicked it and years later sold it for nine grand after he fell on hard times. The first Barnes knew about it was when Ruddock was boasting about it at an after dinner engagement they were both at. Yeah, really impressive that, ‘Razor’. Where’s that nine grand now? Shared out three ways between your local bookies, bailiffs and Wetherspoons no doubt. You big fat ‘pass the pound’ playing, boozed up couch potato. 

 

In other pissing me off news today, Laurie Sanchez says Liverpool would be ‘champions with an asterisk forever’ if they are awarded the title. Funny that, as this cunt should have an asterisk next to his name too. The explanation for the asterisk would be “utterly irrelevant skid mark whose one claim to fame was a ball brushing off his head in an FA Cup Final”. This fucker should be kissing LFC’s hairy beanbag as without the Reds he’d be nothing.

 

This is what he said. “It is ironic that Klopp was the manager pushing more than anyone else for a winter break and since they had that interruption in the season, Liverpool lost all their momentum and the dip in form and the time taken out of the season means they could have won the league by now if they didn't have that break".

 

Dip in form! We lost one game, you soft cunt. Played 29. Won 27. Lost 1. Drawn 1. The draw was back in October or something, so what the fuck is he talking about? He was part of the ‘Crazy’ gang I suppose. Seems he’s also part of the ‘thick as pigshit’ gang too. What a tit.

 

Wednesday May 13:

 

We keep getting linked with Koulibaly. Not sure why, as there’s no way we’re paying big money for another centre back. Yes, we’re probably going to lose one of ‘the best in the world’ when Lovren departs but that doesn’t mean we can go out and replace him ‘like for like’ with Koulibaly.

 

For one thing I can’t see us spending big in this climate, but even if we had the money it wouldn’t make sense because we’ve got Gomez and signing someone who is so good that he’d have to play would probably end up seeing Joe move away, and no-one wants that because he could become one of the all time greats.

 

If we did sign Koulibaly though it wouldn’t be fair to the rest of the league. We’re already 25 points clear so imagine how many we’d be winning by if nobody could score against us ever.

 

Another player who we won’t be signing but we keep being linked with is Jadon Sancho. Owen Hargreaves said today that Sancho would walk into any side in the world, including ours and City. I’m not saying he’s wrong because I’ve barely seen anything of Sancho.

 

What I would say though is it’s easy to make outlandish claims like that, but any time someone does they should immediately be made to say who would make way. Is Sancho getting in ahead of Mané, a player in his prime and who was a strong contender for world player of the year? Messi actually endorsed him for that honour if I remember rightly. 

 

Salah then? Again, that’s a bold statement. As for City, well he might get in ahead of Mahrez I suppose but let’s not forget that Mahrez is only playing because Sane got injured. And Sane is fucking brilliant.

 

You know what else is fucking brilliant? Djibril Cisse wants to come out of retirement to play in Ligue 1 because he didn’t reach 100 goals and can’t live with it.

 

"I have always said that passing the 100-goal mark was something very important to me. Being four goals away bothers me. If it doesn't happen, at least I would have tried and I could close the book of 100 goals, but until I try everything, I won't be at peace."

 

Cisse added: "You have to see this as a bet, as an additional player in the workforce and not as an element that can play 90 minutes. Even I can't lie to myself to that extent, but I can still contribute."

 

Fucking hell, just imagine. He was a shoot on sight merchant anyway but now it’d just be ridiculous. Remember that front cover of the fanzine when Rafa was giving Cisse tactical instructions and the caption said “Opposition half. Shoot. Got it”. If he comes back now in a desperate search for four goals he would literally be shooting from anywhere. I hope it happens.

 

 

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[alles ist gut 3,470]

Top, top Tin Henman analysis there, Dave.

[Scott_M 4,376]

That Mourinho comment made me laugh as well. Although he’s a prick, you’d want him on your side / backing you up.

[Arnaud 263]

Who the fuck is Tim Henman ?

 

Chirivella has been linked with Nantes down here .....

[dave u 5,345]

That's TIGER TIM to you!

 

Tim is the David Moyes of tennis. He showed you can be a winner without actually ever winning.

[aws 5,892]

Only tennis player to have a bit of sloping land named after him. 

[Bobby Hundreds 6,876]

Have you ever been approached by the Anfield wrap Dave (blasphemy). Your writing reports are miles better than anything they write up, not that you would write for them or need to just curious if they've asked. Redmen TV too. Didn't one of the Anfield Wrap creators used to post on here.

[aws 5,892]

The greatest trick he ever pulled was convincing TLW he didn't exist. 

[DalyanPete 74]

Spot on analysis of that fat cunt Ruddock, really thought he could have captained us at one stage.

Then the pound coin/shitting in shoes/and all the other hilarious things he did explain why we had a decent side with some quality players but we where shit.

I fuckin cringe now that he ever played for us, but razor, eh? Strips off on any show that lets him. What a laugh?Fuckin embarrassing.

[Jimmy Hills Chin 713]

Ruddock is the footballer version of that prick who pushed that fella into the fountain in Barcelona. An absolute fucking bellend, the type who obviously thinks he's a 'natural comedian'. The one that you don't want trying to be your new best mate when you are on holiday. That one.

[lifetime fan 10,038]

I'd have love to seen Ruddock try that shit at the Club with Souness there.

[sir roger 4,558]

Very harsh on Henman that Dave , he may not have been absolutely top level but he won loads of ATP titles and had a 75% win rate in Davis Cup. Moyes has won fuck all.

 

[suzy 2,005]

Anyone see that ‘Harry’s heroes ‘ with Ruddock on? He comes across as a right bellend but plays the clown by drinking and eating shit! He’s had to have a pacemaker now. Yet all the other players seem to love him, I don’t understand.

[Jimmy Hills Chin 713]

15 minutes ago, suzy said:

Anyone see that ‘Harry’s heroes ‘ with Ruddock on? He comes across as a right bellend but plays the clown by drinking and eating shit! He’s had to have a pacemaker now. Yet all the other players seem to love him, I don’t understand.

I reckon it's a bit of the Emperor's New Clothes. No one wants to be the first to say 'he's a bit of a dickhead, him' but there'll be many thinking it. Like being back in school.

[suzy 2,005]

23 minutes ago, Jimmy Hills Chin said:

I reckon it's a bit of the Emperor's New Clothes. No one wants to be the first to say 'he's a bit of a dickhead, him' but there'll be many thinking it. Like being back in school.

Possibly. Merson got really annoyed with him as he recognised himself and Ruddock told him to fuck off! They made up later though.

[manwiththestick 3,180]

Do you know what? I don't mind Merson, yes he's a bit of a dope and obviously has his demons but he seems not to have an axe to grind with rival clubs or at least he's not as obvious as others.

[DaveTucker 30]

I always thought he was a complete bellend but I've listened to him on both Carra's podcast and Quickly Kevin  (Highly recommend to anybody over 30) recently and he comes across as a totally decent guy. Now I just think of him as a Tim Nice but Dim sort of figure. 

[dave u 5,345]

Merson is sound, I really like him. I saw that Harry's Heroes and he was getting worked up about Ruddock drinking when the doctors have told him he's killing himself. He tried to have a word and Ruddock went mental, shouting and swearing and threatening him. 

 

Merson's main beef was that all the other lads were buying him drinks and encouraging him. His argument was "you wouldn't do that for me because of my addiction yet you'll go out and drink with him when he's in the same boat, only he just hasn't acknowledged it". He was right too.

 

You've got the likes of Mark Wright saying how worried he is about his mate, then the next minute they're downing shots together.

 

For the record though, as much as Ruddock is a tit, it wasn't him who shat in the shoes, that was Steve Harkness! And it was a bag I think, not shoes. The shoes thing was Fowler cutting up Ruddock's shoes, and Ruddock punching him.

[Anubis 15,602]

Luke Chadwick was only sixth on the list of top twenty ugliest footballers with Wayne Rooney at number one and Crouchie at number four. Crying bastard.

 

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/sportslens.com/top-20-ugliest-footballers/5343/amp/
 

 

Rank		Name	Club
	1	Wayne Rooney	Manchester United
	2	Ronaldinho	Barcelona
	3	Carlos Tevez	Manchester United
	4	Peter Crouch	Liverpool
	5	Ronaldo	Milan
	6	Luke Chadwick	Manchester United
	7	Robbie Fowler	Cardiff
	8	Darren Fletcher	Manchester United
	9	Rio Ferdinand	Manchester United
	10	Ruud Van Nistelrooy	Real Madrid
	11	Dirk Kuyt	Liverpool
	12	Joleon Lescott	Everton
	13	Gary Neville	Manchester United
	14	Robbie Savage	Derby County
	15	Iván Campo	Bolton
	16	Robert Earnshaw	Derby County
	17	Phil Neville	Everton
	18	Philippe Senderos	Arsenal
	19	Paddy Kenny	Sheffield United
	20	Edwin Van der Sar	Manchester United

 

 

[sir roger 4,558]

Dirk Kuyt was a God amongst men , wtf.

 

And talking of god , Cardiff ffs.

[Jimmy Hills Chin 713]

5 hours ago, Anubis said:

Luke Chadwick was only sixth on the list of top twenty ugliest footballers with Wayne Rooney at number one and Crouchie at number four. Crying bastard.

 

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/sportslens.com/top-20-ugliest-footballers/5343/amp/
 

 

Rank		Name	Club
	1	Wayne Rooney	Manchester United
	2	Ronaldinho	Barcelona
	3	Carlos Tevez	Manchester United
	4	Peter Crouch	Liverpool
	5	Ronaldo	Milan
	6	Luke Chadwick	Manchester United
	7	Robbie Fowler	Cardiff
	8	Darren Fletcher	Manchester United
	9	Rio Ferdinand	Manchester United
	10	Ruud Van Nistelrooy	Real Madrid
	11	Dirk Kuyt	Liverpool
	12	Joleon Lescott	Everton
	13	Gary Neville	Manchester United
	14	Robbie Savage	Derby County
	15	Iván Campo	Bolton
	16	Robert Earnshaw	Derby County
	17	Phil Neville	Everton
	18	Philippe Senderos	Arsenal
	19	Paddy Kenny	Sheffield United
	20	Edwin Van der Sar	Manchester United

 

 

And yet no shortage of very attractive partners. Wish I knew their secret.

[suzy 2,005]

I agree with all those saying about Merson being decent. I really warmed to him on that show too. Le Tiss was good with Merson also, taking him to play golf.