The New Cricket Thread

[Guest Pistonbroke]

1 minute ago, Jairzinho said:

 

True. going along at nearly 6 an over, that is pathetic in test match cricket on a pitch that is giving the bowlers something. 

[Spy Bee]

Leach just no-balled The Ashes. Or something like that - just an absolutely huge fuck up which is very likely to have a bearing on the destination of the urn.

[Captain Turdseye]

Are we taking the new ball straight away?

[Jairzinho]

Anyone know where the captain is?

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Feel sorry for Leach as he has bowled well. Shit happens, and he certainly isn't the first bowler to get a batsman out off a no ball, nor will he be the last. I think in the context of the match, and indeed the series it is a bummer like. Roy dropping a dolly off Paine was just as bad, plus Smiths luck has pissed me off today, the smug bastard. 

 

[Captain Turdseye]

THROW IT AT HIS HEAD

[Jairzinho]

I wonder if they'll enforce the follow on.

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

52 minutes ago, Mudface said:

Baldie, gozzy-eyed bastard.

Leach?

[Guest Pistonbroke]

I think it is fair to say that this has been a shit session for England, every bit as bad as BJ's in the House this week. Ah well, we are already in the phase of can we bat well enough to force a draw. Wicket is good enough, but are the players. 

[Brownie]

Not sure today could have gone any worse.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Isa Guha on about putting a rubber on in 8 seconds...ohh err. 

[Mudface]

8 minutes ago, VERBAL DIARRHEA said:

Leach?

[Mudface]

1 minute ago, Pistonbroke said:

Isa Guha on about putting a rubber on in 8 seconds...ohh err. 

Think that'd be too late for me.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

1 minute ago, Brownie said:

Not sure today could have gone any worse.

The morning session was pretty decent mate, this afternoon has been utter shite at times. You can see in the players attitudes that they are deflated. Aussies controlling the game with ease at the moment. 

[Spy Bee]

I really fancied Jofra to give them nightmares here. I know nothing.

[Jairzinho]

I'm sure Root will inspire the troops.

[Jairzinho]

4 minutes ago, Brownie said:

Not sure today could have gone any worse.

There you go. Stokes is injured.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Stokes leaving the field with an injury, things going from bad to worse. 

[Guest Pistonbroke]

3 minutes ago, Spy Bee said:

I really fancied Jofra to give them nightmares here. I know nothing.

 

Same here, I thought he'd be a handful. He has been unlucky at times but bowled nowhere near to his best. The Pitch looks slow mind, let#s see how the Aussies get on with the ball. 

[Brownie]

Okay yeah it just got worse.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

4 minutes ago, Jairzinho said:

I'm sure Root will inspire the troops.

 

Like a 20 year old Lieutenant fresh out of Sandhurst. 

[Guest Pistonbroke]

We need to put more effort in here, otherwise the Aussies will fancy 500+ and going for bowling us out twice. At the moment we're just handing them easy runs as we look to be sulking in the field. I'm sure a few cucumber sandwiches and a cuppa tea will sort them out. 

[Jairzinho]

Got to be Root's last series as captain, this.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Sam Curran drops Paine now, fucking shite this. Paine is 1 short of a half century and he's looked like a walking wicket for most of his innings. 

[Guest Pistonbroke]

3 minutes ago, Jairzinho said:

Got to be Root's last series as captain, this.

 

I wouldn't bet on that mate, unless he was to stand down himself. I'd say his ego will tell him otherwise though.