A story-Filthy, Funny yet Sad

[Dr.Filth]

I heard a story in work today which I'm sure you will agree belongs on the GF.

A workmates younger brother was seeing this bird and her parents went away for the weekend. He goes round there expecting to get his hole only to discover to his horror that she's on her period. After some persuasion she agrees to let him give her one up the 'gary glitter' but makes him stop halfway through. As he pulls out she drops this fuckin' awful messy shit all over her parents brand new cream coloured sofa and no amount of scrubbing would shift it. The parents come home the next day and obviously she can't tell them what really happened so she has no choice but to blame the dog.

Her arl fella is so fucking livid that he marches into the kitchen grabs this poor innocent mutt and takes it straight to the vet to get it put down.

Needless to say they are no longer an item.

[Remmie]

That story does truly belong here & is well sad, can't believe no-one has replied. Should have put down the blobby bitch

[DT]

Hadn't seen it until now. Fuck me, that's a brilliant story!

[Total Longo]

Surely if the vet had any morals he would have checked the dog out before putting it down? i mean he's not going to take the word of some steaming fella that it needs to be put to sleep because it left a steamer on the sofa!

 

Where do they live? Wales, or something?

 

Total "World Wildlife Fund" Longo

[Kopite]

I posted this on both RAOTL and YNWA as I thought it was a classic.

 

Consider yourself to be owed one bacon sandwich by me mate. Superb.

[Stouffer]

Is the dog still dead?

[navbasi]

So the girl is single now is she?

[bri]

thats some funny shit

[Captain]

That's some real bad shit. Must say I feel sorry for the dog.

[kopitegaz]

That's some real bad shit. Must say I feel sorry for the dog.

 

 

As a Dog owner, so do I.

[Mark P]

Er, the vet wouldn't put the dog down for that, surely?!

[Duff Man]

Why the fuck didn't the bird try running to the toilet? or at least try positioning her dirty arse over the carpet. Can't believe she just knelt there and shat all over the couch. Lazy cow!

 

Conclusion, wrong animal put down.

[Remmie]

My first attempt would be for head I reckon. The thought of blood trickling down my balls, while I'm potting brown seems a bit unnecessary

[captainharris]

My first attempt would be for head I reckon. The thought of blood trickling down my balls, while I'm potting brown seems a bit unnecessary

:sick: I read that whilst eating

[Alan Sex]

what's wrong with dipping your chips in ketchup once in a while?

[captainharris]

what's wrong with dipping your chips in ketchup once in a while?

Some people prefer brown sauce..

[Remmie]

:sick: I read that whilst eating

I just don't get that with people. When you read something disgusting how do you instantly compare it with what you are eating and think thats what you are now eating? If less people did it, it would be considered a mental problem. I'll quite happily eat my sandwich while you talk aboot any subject as I know they are 2 different things, unless of course you are talking about my sandwich

[captainharris]

I just got a mental image of hairy bollox with dripping blood and it made me feel sick... i still ate my sarnie tho.

[Guest 4NICK8]

It's ok to swim the red sea, you just don't want to eat there.

[King Gheedorah]

That's some funny shit that is!

[King Gheedorah]

I just got a mental image of hairy bollox with dripping blood and it made me feel sick... i still ate my sarnie tho.

 

 

Good lad, haha!

[Alan Sex]

I just got a mental image of hairy bollox with dripping blood and it made me feel sick...

 

 

Bobbit..

[1_robbo]

Bit different but funny still the same, quite a few years back i had been to Blackpool for the day with my then girlfriend (now ex) and along the way bought one of those big thick sticks of rock, upon returning to her parents house which was empty we got busy in the back room, we got carried away as you do and she ended up with the stick of rock in her holiest of holes which she quite enjoyed ! after a while we heard the front door open and her parents and sister come in, we rapidly got dressed and made our way up stairs, we both came down half an hour later to see her younger sister sucking on said rock with a big grin on her face saying thanks for the rock and preceeded to offer it to her mum who took a bite ! the look of shock and embarrasement on my birds face was priceless, i still see her every now and then and always mention it ......and she has still not told her sister.

[rondeco]

Bumpety bump bump!!

[RedinSweden]

Bit different but funny still the same, quite a few years back i had been to Blackpool for the day with my then girlfriend (now ex) and along the way bought one of those big thick sticks of rock, upon returning to her parents house which was empty we got busy in the back room, we got carried away as you do and she ended up with the stick of rock in her holiest of holes which she quite enjoyed ! after a while we heard the front door open and her parents and sister come in, we rapidly got dressed and made our way up stairs, we both came down half an hour later to see her younger sister sucking on said rock with a big grin on her face saying thanks for the rock and preceeded to offer it to her mum who took a bite ! the look of shock and embarrasement on my birds face was priceless, i still see her every now and then and always mention it ......and she has still not told her sister.

 

that made me laugh a lot