Fat Sam twittering

[rondeco]

Don't know whether it's been posted already. I enjoyed it!

 

BigSam (TheBig_Sam) on Twitter

[Paul]

Christ on a bike - something associated with Sam Allarcunt that makes me laugh rather than want to smash the laptop to bits.

[Anubis]

That's fucking hilarious. I wonder if it's the same guy who did the other stuff 12 months back.

 

 

Been working with gamma radiation on the lads. Trying to see if I can improve their physical strength. Results have been disappointing.

[Paul]

Fuck me, this is genius:

 

Saw a lovely lass in the park. Told her she was as pretty as a Monet. And that I'd like to suck her shit into a point. Mardy cow walked off.

[05 Milan]

One thing I find funny about Fat Sam is that everytime he talks, he sounds like he's eaten about 5-6 portions of English breakfast. You can practically hear the food stuck in his throat as the stomach is having trouble digesting it all at once.

[Baldi]

Quality .

[Hand Shandy]

That's ace.

 

There's links through to other managers as well - Tony Pulis and Mick McCarthy have also been given similar treatment...

[Hand Shandy]

Had a bit of a scare there. Thought I'd found a grey patch on my pubes. It's okay though - it was only dried-in Yop. 6:12 AM Apr 7th via web

 

Brilliant!

[Baldi]

Viddo (Nemanja_VidicNV) on Twitter

 

Loved this @Gary_Neville Fancy a game of top trumps? I ride BMX to your house

 

Then theres this one Rafael Benitez (RafBenitez) on Twitter

['Kaka]

The Big Sam is one of the lads off YNWA. Top class effort.

[Red Phoenix]

Am wiping tears from my eyes after reading through it, still not got through them all either.

 

# Been barred from our local shop. Was pissed out of my head and caused a bit of a scene when I was in there last week. 4:23 PM Mar 27th via web

 

# Took my cock out and pretended it was a snooker cue. Then I began to "chalk" it with a Creme Egg. 4:26 PM Mar 27th via web

 

# Was striding round the shop singing the 'Big Break' theme tune, potting cans of Baked Beans with my tadger. Utterly disgraceful. 4:28 PM Mar 27th via web

[Cunny]

The fat sam one is done by a poster (Swipe) on YNWA

[hamstrung]

The missus loves my big, thick sausage fingers. Loves it when I use 'em in bed. "Come on, Big Sam," she pleads. "Give us the digitry."

 

Ha!

[Total Longo]

"My mate Fusty Steve says I don't have the guts to shove a Cornetto up my arse. We'll see about that. about 20 hours ago via Tweetie

 

I used a Mint Chocolate Cornetto, by the way. Quite refreshing. about 19 hours ago via Tweetie"

 

this musn't sound good to the neighbours, i am crying laughing.

[Hooch]

Quality

[Pidge]

"Just spotted a Romanian lout trying to nick a bottle of Ragu in Lidl. I slapped a Figure Four Leg Lock on him til the cops arrived."

[Dani Pacheco]

# Took my cock out and pretended it was a snooker cue. Then I began to "chalk" it with a Creme Egg. 4:26 PM Mar 27th via web

 

:lol:

[Croque Monsieur]

Funny as fuck that.

 

This:

 

'Can't wait for the sunny weather. Sitting naked on a leather sofa and slowly peeling your ballbag off the seat is what summer was made for.'

 

and this:

 

'Came in to the house to find the wife taking a piss in a child's potty. I pretended I was okay with it, but I'm not sure I am.'

 

Had me in stitches.

[Sweeney287]

"Really need to do something about my muffin tops. Mother calls me "Big Blueberry Sam". And "cuntychops"

 

Even his mum calls him a cunt, ace.

[Wor Horse]

Neville Nevilles Lad (Gary_Neville) on Twitter

[Pidge]

Too many retweets

[RoboRiise]

Phil Brown's just been on the phone. He's in bits.

6:13 AM Mar 16th via web

 

One minute he was sobbing and threatening suicide, next he was singing "If You Leave Me Now" by Chicago at the top of his voice. So sad.

6:13 AM Mar 16th via web

 

His wife made him some bacon & Alphabites for tea. But he just stared at the plate and spelled out "I'm a daft cunt" with them. I'm worried.

6:19 AM Mar 16th via web

 

Phil Brown's back on the blower. Wants me to pop round to his tonight to watch his 'Grease' DVD. The singalong version. This isn't good.

8:56 AM Mar 16th via web

 

 

Quality.

[RoboRiise]

The wife suggested some role playing to spice up our sex life. I said: "Why don't you pretend to be less of a twat?" and slapped her face.

4:05 PM Mar 27th via web

[Wor Horse]

Harry Redknapp (Arry_Redknapp) on Twitter

[Wor Horse]

Rafael Benitez (RafBenitez) on Twitter