The world of a woman.

[Joe Le Taxi]

Yup. We found it not long after behind the till.

[Tom R]

A girl who works for me found out only this week that unicorns are mythical. Because we told her.

We then had to use the internet to prove that something WASN'T true, which is fairly unusual I'm sure you'll agree.

 

Then, later the same day, the same girl was listening in on me and some guy discussing the film Kung Fu Flid (yes, it exists) and she chirped in with "what's a Kung Fu Flid? Is it like a jedi?"

 

I then asked her what she thougt a jedi was.

"no idea, but i know they're definitely real, not like unicorns! haha!" was her reply.

 

She is 27.

Luckily for her she is also hotter than the sun or else she would surely die alone. Probably from just forgetting to breath.

[Unrighteous]

Dear lords... Did you give her the old "Breathalyzer" thing, Tomarse? "No seriously, get this in your mouth and it'll tell you how much you've had to drink!"

[Sugar Ape]

I went the water machine in our work yesterday which has two taps, a cold one and a room temperature one.

 

One of the women on my team asked me to get her a cup from the room temperature tap.

 

I asked her why she didn't get the cold water, why did she want the warmer one?

 

She said it wasn't warm and that it was colder than the water in her fishtank at home.

 

I then had to point out she has tropical fish and a heater in the water.

 

To be fair to her she did look embarrassed.

[lifetime fan]

I went the water machine in our work yesterday which has two taps, a cold one and a room temperature one.

 

One of the women on my team asked me to get her a cup from the room temperature tap.

 

I asked her why she didn't get the cold water, why did she want the warmer one?

 

She said it wasn't warm and that it was colder than the water in her fishtank at home.

 

I then had to point out she has tropical fish and a heater in the water.

 

To be fair to her she did look embarrassed.

 

 

I bet she's been fucking drinking out of the fish tank too.

[Dougie Do'ins]

Thought here was as good a place for this. Epic woman fail.

 

[YOUTUBE]0GnjBpAzU0g[/YOUTUBE]

[lifetime fan]

Daft bitch.

[Reacher]

Thought here was as good a place for this. Epic woman fail.

 

 

Jesus Christ, the "ow" at the end is thoroughly satisfying though.

[Redder Lurtz]

That's class.

 

There's something deeply irritating about the way a woman says "guys". Probably just me but it bugs me in meetings when women get all "right guys"-ey. Shut up.

[KopOut]

'Women know your limits' Harry Enfield and chums BBC sketch - YouTube

[Indian Red]

Bahahahaha. Excellent

[RedBrian84]

"That claret jug isn't claret at all"

 

"No. No it isn't"

 

My sister and her fiancé discuss the trophy at the Open.

[VladimirIlyich]

"That claret jug isn't claret at all"

 

"No. No it isn't"

 

My sister and her fiancé discuss the trophy at the Open.

 

Haha.

[stevienando]

There's something deeply irritating about the way a woman says "guys". Probably just me but it bugs me in meetings when women get all "right guys"-ey. Shut up.

 

Oh my stars. I'm just a lil lady, my fragile constitution cannot handle the fearsome outdoors. Who's Leslie? My name is Annabelle van der Graf, and, y'all, I just fall to pieces when the sun shines on my hair ddd

[lifetime fan]

Before I go to work this morning she asks if she can have my card as she's getting her hair cut this afternoon. She tells me it'll be about 60 quid.

 

I come home tonight and ask for me card back, remember to say her hair looks nice and ask how much it cost.

 

Oh, well it came to £150 in the end as I had a full head.

 

 

A full head? Do you women only have half of it cut or some shit normally?

[Trumo]

And yet, if you'd turned to her and said you'd got full head from a hairdresser for a hundred and fifty notes...

[lifetime fan]

And yet, if you'd turned to her and said you'd got full head from a hairdresser for a hundred and fifty notes...

 

 

I'll give that a try.

[Reacher]

Before I go to work this morning she asks if she can have my card as she's getting her hair cut this afternoon. She tells me it'll be about 60 quid.

 

I come home tonight and ask for me card back, remember to say her hair looks nice and ask how much it cost.

 

Oh, well it came to £150 in the end as I had a full head.

 

A full head? Do you women only have half of it cut or some shit normally?

 

Jesus Christ, I grumble that mine costs a tenner.

[lifetime fan]

Jesus Christ, I grumble that mine costs a tenner.

 

 

Mines gone up to £15 and I thought I was getting robbed.

[Champ]

 

Oh, well it came to £150 in the end

 

I'm not doing this right......

[lifetime fan]

I'm not doing this right......

 

 

You mean you spend what you say you're going to...that's doing it right!

[Champ]

You mean you spend what you say you're going to...that's doing it right!

Nah.....I'm too embarrassed to admit how much it costs me now.....the full head!

[lifetime fan]

Nah.....I'm too embarrassed to admit how much it costs me now.....the full head!

 

 

What the fuck is a 'full head'?

[Champ]

What the fuck is a 'full head'?

This gets worse......I'm baffled as you are (was she getting it coloured?).....I'm a pretty poor excuse for a woman really

[lifetime fan]

This gets worse......I'm baffled as you are (was she getting it coloured?).....I'm a pretty poor excuse for a woman really

 

Yeah, that make a difference?