The "things that make you realise you're getting older" thread

[Bruce Spanner]

6 minutes ago, Kevin D said:

Hannibal was 28 when he crossed the Alps, the cheeky little twat.

‘When Alexander of Macedonia was 33, he cried salt tears because there were no more worlds to conquer … [Eric] Bristow's only 27.’

[Preston Red]

On 01/08/2021 at 06:10, suzy said:

I worked with someone years ago who put her back out sneezing. She was in her 50’s at the time. A couple of months later she retired early due to her back. I have heard recently she’s still going at 82!

That's one hell of a sneezing fit.

[suzy]

5 hours ago, Preston Red said:

That's one hell of a sneezing fit.

She always had a loud violent sneeze!

[Section_31]

Just bought a new nasal hair trimmer, industrial strength and top of the line. He said it was the Cadillac of nose trimmers but I think he mean a Lex.

 

Now I find I’m so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain.

[Stouffer]

45 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

Just bought a new nasal hair trimmer, industrial strength and top of the line. He said it was the Cadillac of nose trimmers but I think he mean a Lex.

 

Now I find I’m so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain.

That's an absolute fuckin' beauty.

[Bobby Hundreds]

They scare me I can imagine something going wrong and it turning into a nose blender. I'll stick to scissors and a snooty look.

[Bjornebye]

3 minutes ago, Bobby Hundreds said:

They scare me I can imagine something going wrong and it turning into a nose blender. I'll stick to scissors and a snooty look.

I was just about to say the same. They can fuck off. I have no desire to look down my nostrils and see the cleaner from Labrynth heading towards my brain

 

[VladimirIlyich]

32 minutes ago, Bobby Hundreds said:

They scare me I can imagine something going wrong and it turning into a nose blender. I'll stick to scissors and a snooty look.

Bobby in a few weeks time

[Bobby Hundreds]

17 minutes ago, VladimirIlyich said:

Bobby in a few weeks time

Nah I keep on top of that game. My missus insists. If I've a stray long hair in my beard she points and screams like Donald Sunderland in invasion of the body snatchers.

[dockers_strike]

2 hours ago, Section_31 said:

Just bought a new nasal hair trimmer, industrial strength and top of the line. He said it was the Cadillac of nose trimmers but I think he mean a Lex.

 

Now I find I’m so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain.

There was an ad on tv the other night for an electric trimmer to use on your balls! Im mean the actual fuck, this guy's going 'We need to take about balls! Look after your balls!'

 

That thing looks like you could end up with your brains dribble out of your nose if you go up too far! I just pluck em out one by one. Drives the old girl nuts!

[Section_31]

5 minutes ago, dockers_strike said:

There was an ad on tv the other night for an electric trimmer to use on your balls! Im mean the actual fuck, this guy's going 'We need to take about balls! Look after your balls!'

 

That thing looks like you could end up with your brains dribble out of your nose if you go up too far! I just pluck em out one by one. Drives the old girl nuts!

 

They're too dense mine, I had them waxed about 10 days ago and it's like Delamere up there already.

[Remmie]

11 minutes ago, dockers_strike said:

There was an ad on tv the other night for an electric trimmer to use on your balls! Im mean the actual fuck, this guy's going 'We need to take about balls! Look after your balls!'

 

That thing looks like you could end up with your brains dribble out of your nose if you go up too far! I just pluck em out one by one. Drives the old girl nuts!

There is one on YouTube suggesting people buy this ball trimmer for their dad or son. Yeah, that's a comfortable conversation. 

[Tony Moanero]

Hairy bollocks are boss. Years ago, whilst pissed, I decided to have a go at “manscaping”. Pleased with my handiwork, using a Fujifilm disposable camera, I took a photo of my cock and balls. I woke up the following morning, remembered what I had done and realised that I’d lost all my holiday snaps.

[tokyojoe]

3 hours ago, Section_31 said:

Just bought a new nasal hair trimmer, industrial strength and top of the line. He said it was the Cadillac of nose trimmers but I think he mean a Lex.

 

Now I find I’m so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain.

Isn't that used in a lobotomy?

[tokyojoe]

3 hours ago, Section_31 said:

Just bought a new nasal hair trimmer, industrial strength and top of the line. He said it was the Cadillac of nose trimmers but I think he mean a Lex.

 

Now I find I’m so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain.

Isn't that used in a lobotomy?

[tokyojoe]

3 hours ago, Section_31 said:

Just bought a new nasal hair trimmer, industrial strength and top of the line. He said it was the Cadillac of nose trimmers but I think he mean a Lex.

 

Now I find I’m so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain.

Isn't that used in a lobotomy?

[Elite]

Gonna go get the lobotomy, the lobotomy.

 

[Rico1304]

I wish deWalt did a nasal hair trimmer. 

[Bjornebye]

3 hours ago, Remmie said:

There is one on YouTube suggesting people buy this ball trimmer for their dad or son. Yeah, that's a comfortable conversation. 

I don't see the problem. Less awkward than "I hope you like the socks, I was gonna get you a ball trimmer but didn't want you assuming I know you've got balls with pubes on them" 

[Remmie]

1 hour ago, Bjornebye said:

I don't see the problem. Less awkward than "I hope you like the socks, I was gonna get you a ball trimmer but didn't want you assuming I know you've got balls with pubes on them" 

I suppose I just don't discuss my dad's pubes with him. I'm such a prude. 

[Evelyn Tentions]

14 hours ago, Section_31 said:

Just bought a new nasal hair trimmer, industrial strength and top of the line. He said it was the Cadillac of nose trimmers but I think he mean a Lex.

 

Now I find I’m so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain.

Looks like the thing Arnie used in Total Recall to get the tracking device out.

[Davelfc]

I want one of these

 

[tokyojoe]

49 minutes ago, Poster said:

I want one of these

 

WTF?

[Bobby Hundreds]

It's just a regular nose trimmer in the shape of a gun. I dont think it atomically blasts away nose hair. I must admit I'm tempted. We never really grow up do we.

[dockers_strike]

9 hours ago, tokyojoe said:

WTF?

Looks like one of those things the old girl uses on the gas cooker when one of the rings doesnt ignite!