The X Factor

[Section_31]

Fucking hell, here's a show that's deffo gone on too long now.

 

Caught some of it before, and they've replaced Osbourne with Tweedy - who despite looking the part - isn't really in a position to tell someone they can't sing.

 

It's formulaic fair, you can tell the ones who are going to get through because they show a two minute interview with the presenter before he goes in, where he explains he's only there tonight because his mum's head exploded six months ago and this was her dying wish before her brains were spread all over the kitchen floor.

 

Then one judge gives him the thumbs down, and it all hinges on Cowell, who takes an age, but then PUTS HIM THROUGH WOOOOO!!!! and then 'you lift me up' by Westlife comes on in the background.

 

That's the American dream folks.

 

(What happened to the last winner again? And that Steve Brookstein, and Shane whatsisname - there's a running theme here)

[RedKnight]

Why put yourself through it? Even Nedry knew not to mess with the 'raptors.

[SquareBall]

I know someone who went for an audition on the XFactor. You have to go through an audition before hand with random judges before you can see Cowell and his henchmen.

[I Am The One Who Knocks]

I know someone who went for an audition on the XFactor. You have to go through an audition before hand with random judges before you can see Cowell and his henchmen.

 

Tis true.

 

Producers put them into 'Blingers', 'Mingers' and 'Singers'.

 

That's why you end up seeing completely rubbish old singers (mingers), flashy wannabees (blingers) and then the potential stars (singers).

[Sut]

I think ITV should run a TV show where the public phone in to vote whether X Factor gets binned or not.

[melons]

I enjoy it, and i enjoy seeing the number of people that should be institutionalised actually walking the street, even some having the ability to write amazes me.

 

Oh and what is with some of the Scottish 'contestants' teeth???

[dennis tooth]

It could be presented by Eunice Huthart who has to run up 'The Travelator' at the end to get the phone in results from the envelope holding fellow at the top. They could have smoke effects and that guy who does the recapping on Blind Date could say 'return to energiser' as she does it, to add to the dazzling atmos. Not sure how they'd fill the rest of the 28 minutes allotted for this show but I agree in principle.

[Spy Bee]

I fucking love it!

[chris71]

That Cole bird is right tasty,ooooh yeah!Till she opens the gob and that geordie drawl comes out,still would though.

[SquareBall]

I used to think Danni Minogue was a natural beauty. She looks fuckin weird now. Her face dosnt move when she smiles. I dont know what she has had done to it but it freaks me out. Still definately would tho!

[Spy Bee]

Danni has deffo had botox. She looks minging compared to my bird Cheryl.

[Elite]

I love it when it gets going. I agree about the auditions part being too formulaic but once the judges have picked their 3 singers each and they sing every week its rather good.

[Spy Bee]

I love it when it gets going. I agree about the auditions part being too formulaic but once the judges have picked their 3 singers each and they sing every week its rather good.

I prefer the formulaic audition mong, sob story, excellent singer stuff. I know what's going on, I know the script, but I like it.

 

At the end of the day there are people following their dreams and having moments of joy and sadness. Despite all the production and fabrication, it's a very human story.

[Elite]

I prefer the formulaic audition mong, sob story, excellent singer stuff. I know what's going on, I know the script, but I like it.

 

At the end of the day there are people following their dreams and having moments of joy and sadness. Despite all the production and fabrication, it's a very human story.

 

The thing I don't get is why they celebrate so much after getting through 'one round' they put a load of people through, so their chances are still pretty slim.

[Spy Bee]

It's like we celebrate winning a Champions League match.

 

Oh and the percentages that get through that first round are minimal!

[Hooch]

Fucking hell, here's a show that's deffo gone on too long now.

 

Caught some of it before, and they've replaced Osbourne with Tweedy - who despite looking the part - isn't really in a position to tell someone they can't sing.

 

It's formulaic fair, you can tell the ones who are going to get through because they show a two minute interview with the presenter before he goes in, where he explains he's only there tonight because his mum's head exploded six months ago and this was her dying wish before her brains were spread all over the kitchen floor.

 

Then one judge gives him the thumbs down, and it all hinges on Cowell, who takes an age, but then PUTS HIM THROUGH WOOOOO!!!! and then 'you lift me up' by Westlife comes on in the background.

 

That's the American dream folks.

 

(What happened to the last winner again? And that Steve Brookstein, and Shane whatsisname - there's a running theme here)

 

Ha ha that is so accurate it's a scary. That Cowell makes the show about him as much as the singers, the big egoed mofo.

[Section_31]

Problem is, you'd think the success of a show like the X Factor would be predicated on the people who win it acualy becoming pop stars, but they don't, so what's the point? They end up doing an 'x factor tour' and earning about a hundred quid a night each while Cowell rakes it in.

 

"oooh the voting is neck and neck, can you believe there's only one vote between them! You'd better get dialing!" (calls cost £1 from BT landlines, lines may already be closed, caller discretion is advised)

[Chuck Fadanoid]

Has anyone else noticed that every week begins as a disaster, where they can't find anyone good enough to go through, but then suddenly perks up towards the end. It's a pretty amazing co-incidence.

 

I'm not fan btw, unfortunately I have no control over the remote and it usually comes on the TV while I'm eating my tea.

[bigredruss]

i refuse to watch that crap

[Charles Penrose]

I'll watch the auditions, and then don't bother after that. It's pretty funny to see the same deluded twats year in year out saying 'music is my life' and swearing blind they're better than Whitney Houston.

 

It's all pretty shit after the auditions.

[Hooch]

Has anyone else noticed that every week begins as a disaster, where they can't find anyone good enough to go through, but then suddenly perks up towards the end. It's a pretty amazing co-incidence.

 

I'm not fan btw, unfortunately I have no control over the remote and it usually comes on the TV while I'm eating my tea.

 

Hehe yes I've noticed that too.

[dennis tooth]

Can't believe anyone with any self respect would watch this shite, I'd rather watch 30 minutes of adverts.

[kopitegaz]

I'll watch the auditions, and then don't bother after that. It's pretty funny to see the same deluded twats year in year out saying 'music is my life' and swearing blind they're better than Whitney Houston.

 

It's all pretty shit after the auditions.

 

Same here. I watch the auditions and then nothing else.

[Harry Squatter]

There was one on a few years ago, some big fat minger from Cardiff was on it and thought she was the new Whitney Houston, her fella bought a dress for her to wear at the audition which looked like it cost £5.99. She got bommy nighted by Simon Cowell & Co then her whole family came in and harassed him to death saying he had ruined her life. It was the funniest thing i've seen for years, every deluded person who lives in a parallel universe where they think that they are amazing at anything should be made to go on X-factor to shatter their illusions.

[Elite]

Problem is, you'd think the success of a show like the X Factor would be predicated on the people who win it acualy becoming pop stars, but they don't, so what's the point? They end up doing an 'x factor tour' and earning about a hundred quid a night each while Cowell rakes it in.

 

"oooh the voting is neck and neck, can you believe there's only one vote between them! You'd better get dialing!" (calls cost £1 from BT landlines, lines may already be closed, caller discretion is advised)

 

The winner wins a one million pound recording contract, so it all bad. Leonna Lewis is doing quite well but fuck knows what has happened to that scottish lad last year and that manc twat Shane Ward.