Autisim

[melons]

Bump

 

Good to hear things are looking positive for you, mate.

 

My little boy is 4 and he's having the same problems mentioned. Poor communication skills and unable to form friendships with other children in his class. He,s the most loving little boy but just can't communicate with is classmates or my friends children. The school have suggested we insist on a statutory assessment which we have done but everything seems to move at a snails pace. Is there anything I can do to speed things up. He's under the care of a number of specialists but he hasn't been diagnosed with anything yet. Both dispraxia and autism have been mentioned. What worries me is he will start school full time in September and I am scared he will simply be left behind. Any tips on making sure he gets the required level of support. I have heard the charity snap are helpful in this sort of situation

 

I take it you're in Wales? SNAP are fantastic in fighting your corner, they'll also teach you the correct jargon so that when everyone is talking it doesn't go right over your head. Wales is massively slow at the moment, if it makes it any better it's because they're moving the goal posts for SEN which in theory opens it up for more children, it'll look at family dynamics ect. However I should say actually getting support from the authority is another matter. If you've a good school then you've a head start.

 

Unilke SKI, in my experience early intervention (my daughter was 5/6 when it finally started playing out) was a god send, her needs were much more complex then one diagnosis at the time, her Autism is mild too, so it may just be me.

 

A lot of sense and good advice from the GF...

 

Just to echo, I would also agree somewhat with Tooth. In my own experience, early intervention is probably more beneficial to the parents than the child. That's not to say it's useless - when you have a toddler who has constant meltdowns because they can't communicate and they're stressed, or one who never sleeps, you need all the support and information you can get. I don't want to rehash what others have said already but just to add a few things.

 

Really take on board the sensory overload. If you lad is really unsettled or distressed it might be because of something as simple as a lightbulb being too bright, or lots of different noises going on. If he gets upset at mealtimes it might be because he can't stand the noise of a fork knocking against a plate. Clothes can be a problem. My own son used to take his clothes off constantly because he couldn't cope with the feeling of seams or waistbands. Putting their socks on inside out really helps.

Watch your phrasing. They take everything literally.

Social Stories are very good for little ones What Are Social Storiesâ„¢? Don't bother buying overpriced American ones. Write your own!

 

As he gets older, big up his condition to him constantly. My lad believes he's far superior to the general non-autistic populace because he's so smart and logical.

 

Remember that we develop social skills instinctively. These kids don't, so they have to be taught. That doesn't mean they'll never have them, it just takes longer and requires more effort. Don't give up.

 

Know that it does get easier.

 

1st highlight - it's a ball ache but as they get older this can give you some of the biggest belly laughs of your life.

 

and yes, it does get so very much easier.

[Pony Princess]

Has anyone said 'take him/her to the casino' yet?, I don't have time to read the whole thread so I'll just say, 'take him/her to the casino'.

 

Derp, etc.

[Aldonose]

My son was diagnosed with ASD in November last year. One of the hardest things for us was the feeling of being alone. People in general can be horrible, and you find yourself constantly fighting battles because of Tom's condition. Funny looks and sly comments become the norm, and unless your bullet-proof or more mild-mannered than me, you react.

 

The local authority pointed us in the direction of a group (early birds) that encourage parents to come together and discuss various aspects of autism with each other. The group is fronted by the NAS and is great for intervention techniques aimed at helping the parents cope with the demands of living with autism and ASD every day. The main thing we took from the sessions was knowing that we were not alone.

[Aldonose]

Has anyone said 'take him/her to the casino' yet?, I don't have time to read the whole thread so I'll just say, 'take him/her to the casino'.

 

Derp, etc.

 

Gobshite

[Pony Princess]

Funny looks and sly comments become the norm, and unless your bullet-proof or more mild-mannered than me, you react.

 

Gobshite

 

Sorry, but I lol'd, hard.

[melons]

My son was diagnosed with ASD in November last year. One of the hardest things for us was the feeling of being alone. People in general can be horrible, and you find yourself constantly fighting battles because of Tom's condition. Funny looks and sly comments become the norm, and unless your bullet-proof or more mild-mannered than me, you react.

 

I don't think i ever reacted, I suppose it depends on your childs condition and their prognosis. Our lifestyle changed so we limited confrontational situations but that also made our lives easier. It's a harsh world out there, you can't be there to protect your child 24/7 no matter how much you want to be. I'd call allot of people ignorant but if i was in there shoes i would be just as ignorant so why have a go?

 

Invisible disabilities are just that, invisible.

 

 

Sorry, but I lol'd, hard.

 

Me too.

[Aldonose]

I don't think i ever reacted, I suppose it depends on your childs condition and their prognosis. Our lifestyle changed so we limited confrontational situations but that also made our lives easier. It's a harsh world out there, you can't be there to protect your child 24/7 no matter how much you want to be. I'd call allot of people ignorant but if i was in there shoes i would be just as ignorant so why have a go?

 

Wish I could be so philosophical about it, it'd probably make our live's easier.

[woodylfc]

I take it you're in Wales? SNAP are fantastic in fighting your corner, they'll also teach you the correct jargon so that when everyone is talking it doesn't go right over your head. Wales is massively slow at the moment, if it makes it any better it's because they're moving the goal posts for SEN which in theory opens it up for more children, it'll look at family dynamics ect. However I should say actually getting support from the authority is another matter. If you've a good school then you've a head start.

 

Unilke SKI, in my experience early intervention (my daughter was 5/6 when it finally started playing out) was a god send, her needs were much more complex then one diagnosis at the time, her Autism is mild too, so it may just be me.

 

Thanks Melons, yeah in Caerphilly. To be fair the school are really good. They were the ones telling us to insist on an assesment. Until we completed the forms we were being shoved from pillar to post by different deparments in the council. Since then things have started to move albeit slowly. Another problem we have now encountered is the summer holidays so nothing can be done until September apparently. I forsee a long and drawn out fight over this. I'll get in touch with Snap asap then.

[dennis tooth]

I do think its a travesty how little support there is out there though, they've got money for wars and bankers and nukes and all kinds of other shite wihntout batting an eyelid but social services,more and more are about making the appearance that somethings are being done rather than actually being done.

[melons]

Thanks Melons, yeah in Caerphilly. To be fair the school are really good. They were the ones telling us to insist on an assesment. Until we completed the forms we were being shoved from pillar to post by different deparments in the council. Since then things have started to move albeit slowly. Another problem we have now encountered is the summer holidays so nothing can be done until September apparently. I forsee a long and drawn out fight over this. I'll get in touch with Snap asap then.

 

Sorry, i'm not overly clued up with specialists in that area, Contact a family based in Cardiff could also be a good start? Other local parents are a vital source of information when it comes to pushing the system forward. Just remember it's the parents that shout the loudest that get the most from the authority.

[Aldonose]

I do think its a travesty how little support there is out there though, they've got money for wars and bankers and nukes and all kinds of other shite wihntout batting an eyelid but social services,more and more are about making the appearance that somethings are being done rather than actually being done.

 

Couldn't agree more.

[dennis tooth]

Charities have to step in once again to do the work of government for free.

[Nunavut Patrick]

Charities have to step in once again to do the work of government for free.

 

Problem is mate that charities often do the work of government much better. I'm sure many of the autism charities are actually staffed by volunteers who have gone through having autistic children. The solution is not for the 'government' to hand over a big wad of cash and then have it be sucked off by parasitic bureaucrats who would then make decisions that are woeful and can hide behind their unions and not held accountable. I worked in government for three years as a bureaucrat and was part of the famous 'working group' that oversaw close to $2.5M in grant money doled out for sporting iniatives. Believe me, by the time those dollars trickled down to the populace their original intention was lost.

 

The solution that I was working on with a director was to transfer all that money to volunteer organizations run by people who are actually interested and had more knowledge. Not sure where it stands know as the hired a ginger to replace me which, as you can imagine, is a huge blow to my self-esteem. How many employees of government are actually interested in what they are doing? Many are hopeless drones counting down the days to pension.

 

Example: World Food Programme/Unicef are all funded by governments and do not deliver with the same effeciency as World Vision or even your local church that sponsors a Kenyan village on the serengeti.

 

Anyway, I do not want to hijack the thread and turn it into a political debate and Wheel of Fortune is on in ten minutes.

[Conor]

I have a friend who is a speech therapist but thats different this kids three. Im my opinion based on the info on this thread the child is fine, he is doing it out of choice, time will tell and Im sure everything will be done regardless but my bet is that these experts are going to take credit for the inevitable when it happens. Now laugh away at me as an internet fool.

 

Thanks for all the feedback and opinions everyone. Really appreciate the info. As stated at the start of this thread this is very new to me and the missus so finding out as much as we can from other peoples experience helps us a great deal.

 

Denis - Thanks for posting. Appreciate your opinions. I really hope you are right mate (my kid is fine). However everything is pointing to autisim in some share or form. We expect the diagnosis to be on the lower end of the spectrum (we hope).

 

Worth pointing out that its not just speech and language where he seems very much behind but general communication skills (for a 3 1/2 year old), body language and he appears to have sensory issues.

 

Having spent a fortune on various private sessions with lots of different people all opinions are at this stage showing that he is on the spectrum.

 

If this was 20 years ago people wouldn't have said anything other than my boy is lazy and he will eventually speak in his own time. Granted these days people are too quick to put a label on things but we cant bury our heads in the sand and pretend that there is something not quite right.

 

Will know alot more over the coming weeks.

 

Thanks again to all.....

 

Conor

[Gym Beglin]

Anyone else surprised by the number with autistic kin on this site alone?

[She Knows It]

Anyone else surprised by the number with autistic kin on this site alone?

 

One time I was attending a conference on Autism and there was an eminent specialist in the field giving a talk. As part of his talk he was showing pictures and saying things like "Here is a picture of a baby's pram. An autistic individual won't see a pram, they'll see an umbrella". I'm sitting there thinking 'Fucking hell, I see an umbrella!". Anyway at the end he approached me and asked if I was okay as he'd seen I was alarmed by this sideshow. I explained that I had an autistic son, but I'd seen all the pictures that a person with autism would see. He said that all parents and siblings of people with autism will themselves have strong autistic traits, and not to worry.

 

Maybe lots of us on here are a bit autistic ourselves.

[Aldonose]

One time I was attending a conference on Autism and there was an eminent specialist in the field giving a talk. As part of his talk he was showing pictures and saying things like "Here is a picture of a baby's pram. An autistic individual won't see a pram, they'll see an umbrella". I'm sitting there thinking 'Fucking hell, I see an umbrella!". Anyway at the end he approached me and asked if I was okay as he'd seen I was alarmed by this sideshow. I explained that I had an autistic son, but I'd seen all the pictures that a person with autism would see. He said that all parents and siblings of people with autism will themselves have strong autistic traits, and not to worry.

 

Maybe lots of us on here are a bit autistic ourselves.

 

Sometimes it's like looking in the mirror! really scary.

[Conor]

Hey folks

 

Only realised it was a year since i originally posted this.

Well the boy was officialy diagnosed as being autistic in January. Wasnt a great surprise to us. We knew it was going to happen. Of course you dont want to hear the words but we are happy that we know what we have to work towards and know what needs to be done.

 

12 months on and he has still big problems with speech and language. This is our main concern. He starts montesori in sept and we are praying that this brings him on. The plan is to get him into national school by sept 2013. This is our goal and what we are working towards.

 

We have also been able to avail of the various benefits from the government (irish) - dont want to go into detail but if anyone is in a similar position just drop me a pm and i will let you know what you need to do. It makes a huge difference

 

Living and trying to raise an autistic kid is very challenging for both me and the missus. However the smiles by far outweigh the frowns. The older he gets the harder it becomes but also the more hope we have that hopefuly he will have a normal life.

 

We also got a dog today to see if this will help bring the boy along. We have done our homework and know this can help. Hes on a weeks trial so will see how it goes. The dog is adoreable and so far so good. the boy is interacting well.

 

Small steps on a long road......

[Captain]

I hope it works out well for you all, Conor.

[shouter]

I first came across this thread when my son was 2 and we had concerns over his speach as he was only saying maybee 2 words. When I first looked into autism I thought no,he doesn't fit into that apart from his non talking he will be a late bloomer like me as apparently according to my mum I didn't start talking till I was 4. He is 3 and a half now and is still not talking much apart from odd words, so he was seen by a pede about 8 weeks ago.

 

Now when he started nursery about 6 months ago he was very shy and he wasn't mixing with the other kids, but since he's been moved up to the pre school he has made a massive improvement and has made some friends even tho he's still not talking. So after an hours meeting with the pede We get a letter from her saying that it is likely he has got autistic spectrum disorder. Now I found this astounding that she can make this assertion after an hour with him. She made a point that he was not being social in nursery but went on to say he has made improvements. He is due to be assessed by a multi specialist team soon tho and he is now getting 1 to 1 speach therapyso I suppose it will all come out in the wash. But as far as I'm concerned he's normal in every way apart from his speach.

[Jim MM]

I first came across this thread when my son was 2 and we had concerns over his speach as he was only saying maybee 2 words. When I first looked into autism I thought no,he doesn't fit into that apart from his non talking he will be a late bloomer like me as apparently according to my mum I didn't start talking till I was 4. He is 3 and a half now and is still not talking much apart from odd words, so he was seen by a pede about 8 weeks ago.

 

Now when he started nursery about 6 months ago he was very shy and he wasn't mixing with the other kids, but since he's been moved up to the pre school he has made a massive improvement and has made some friends even tho he's still not talking. So after an hours meeting with the pede We get a letter from her saying that it is likely he has got autistic spectrum disorder. Now I found this astounding that she can make this assertion after an hour with him. She made a point that he was not being social in nursery but went on to say he has made improvements. He is due to be assessed by a multi specialist team soon tho and he is now getting 1 to 1 speach therapyso I suppose it will all come out in the wash. But as far as I'm concerned he's normal in every way apart from his speach.

 

Don't worry about the one hour assessment, it just a bureaucratic thing that means you have access to more assessment services. Without that assessment the state thinks you need nothing and that is exactly what they'll give you.

 

Your son is normal, even if he gets a diagnosis there's nothing wrong with his intellect. Do a bit of research on Sensory Processing Disorder, it's autism under a different name but treated as a physical rather than a mental condition.

If your kid isn't speaking it's maybe because he can't filter out human language from background noise the way most people do automatically so he can't concentrate on conversation and pick things up.

If you leave a tape recorder running a few feet away while you're taking to someone and then play it back you'll notice background noise and static that you didn't notice at the time drowning out the conversation. Autism is like that, you hear/see/feel/sense everything at once.

[shouter]

I have done some research on it ,but I always thought there would be other signs, ie the routine things, lack of imaginary play ,lack of eye contact etc. but my son doesn't fall into any of these things apart from the speach and the social stuff at nursery but as I say he's improved on that tremendously. And it must be difficult to interact and socialise when you can't commnicate although he's signing things a lot more now. Maybee I'm autistic as well then as I didn't start talking till late.

[lifetime fan]

For every trait/indicator/behaviour of an ASD I can show you someone who displays the exact opposite, it doesn't mean they don't have autism mate, just their autism manifests itself in a different way.

 

Everyone is unique, including those with autism.