Stupid REALLY annoying things co-commentators/analysts say.

[Trumo]

The first person I can recall saying goals instead of goal was Jack Charlton, and put it down to him being a fucking idiot, but more and more are using it.

 

Jack Charlton pronounces it as "ghoul". Listen out for it.

[Guest]

Jack Charlton pronounces it as "ghoul". Listen out for it.

 

They don't let Jack out anymore, do they?

[Mac4]

Pie face Hunter. Mr cliché.

‘Leicester have always had a good youth team, the likes of Heskey, Lineker and Shilton, came throught the ranks’

3 players from 3 seperate eras equates to always having a good youth team !!

 

..calling teams by their nickname “it’s a corner to the foxes, the trotters, the irons....”

 

... I remember when we scored / played (insert obscure reference to a pre season friendly from 14 years ago) to demonstrate my encyclopaedic knowledge of all things LFC

 

Everyone over 5’8” is BIG. Big Joe Kennedy, the big no 8 the big centre forward. Amoo has been brought in and he’s a big powerful forward.

 

Also Les Lawson .... chairman of the supporters club who manages to either fly back from matches by private jet to get to the studio 30 mins after an away game or doesn’t go the game. Kick him out

 

And that wooden fucker Jake Hargreaves who raises his eyebrows and voice for no reason whatsoever. How did he get a job on the tv

 

David Fairclough the most boring analyst ever. Why do they bother with him

[Mac4]

Tyldesley said today that Rooney was not going to score if the game went on until Xmas.

 

How many games go on for 3 and a half months ?

 

 

Prison chess ......

 

you send each move by post....passes the time

[Trumo]

any time clive fucking tyldesley is commentating when shrek gets the ball in front of goal - "rooooooooooonnnnnneeeeeyyyyyyyyy." it sounds like he has his cock in his hand when he says it

 

Aaaarrrrggghhhhhhh :wallbutt:

 

Caught a glimpse of England v Greece highlights from 2001, on ESPN. The commentator (I think it was Jon Champion but not sure) was fucking SHOUTING throughout. Three cases in point:

 

Beckham gets the ball on the left wing and charges at the full back. He then turns inside and gets fouled. Commentator calls this "SIMPLY SENSATIONAL, WORLD-CLASS PLAY FROM BECKHAM". The actual play is as described by myself. No more, no less.

 

Greece counter attack and have a chance to make it 3-1. The striker fires the ball straight at Nigel Martyn and the ball is kept out. The Greek player would have achieved a monumental feat to AVOID hitting Martyn's 10 bellies, but no. To this commentator, "THAT WAS AN OUTRAGEOUS SAVE FROM NIGEL MARTYN! HOW ON EARTH DID HE KEEP THAT OUT?!"

 

Beckham's last minute free-kick equaliser, which meant England qualified for the 2002 World Cup. Important goal though it was, Mr.Commentator felt it necessary to "GIVE THAT MAN A KNIGHTHOOD! NOW!!"

 

This was the game the London-based media called Beckham's greatest England game. Despite the fact he was charging round the pitch like a hyperactive kid who's misplaced his Ritalin, complete ignoring the tactical set-up, leaving his teammates exposed time and again, taking each and every free-kick even if it meant slowing the play down whilst he charged across from the left back area to take the kick, despite the likes of Gerrard and Scholes being nearer the incident and more than capable of delivering a quality ball into the box. Most of these free-kicks either sailed over the goal or ended up in the keeper's hands, but no matter. Because of the significance of the equalising goal, the media choose to conveniently ignore the fact that England were seconds from getting dicked on by Greece, and had played like shite throughout the match.

[Trumo]

Pie face Hunter. Mr cliché.

‘Leicester have always had a good youth team, the likes of Heskey, Lineker and Shilton, came throught the ranks’

3 players from 3 seperate eras equates to always having a good youth team !!

 

I don't think that's solely attributable to Hunter. Leicester's local media trot this cliche out every week.

[Trumo]

"If it wasn't a foul, it's a dive!"

 

Normally spouted by the likes of Townsend or Le Tissier. None of whom, despite making a career out of the game, could spot the third possibility even if it came straight up to them and smacked them in the chops. So how about this:

 

100% fair challenge on the attacking player that in the process causes the attacking player to lose balance and fall over. Remember when Muamba of Bolton squared up to Torres last week? There was nothing wrong with what either of them did in that incident, and Nando didn't make a fuss of it either. Excellent tackle, corner given, that's all.

[Mac4]

Well its a trip to sheriff territory as Rodolfos young squad try to get back to winning ways.

Notts Forest – well their academy is really good – its set in a 24 acre woodland, pitch like a carpet.

Of course notts forest academy produced the likes nigel clough and we all know what he did in that 3-3 against man united. Also produced top flight players like jenas, dawson and harewood !!!

 

 

 

LFC.tv is by far the cheapest nastiest station around, piss poor presenters and commentators and full of wooden staff

[Trumo]

Ron Atkinsonisms like "little Scholesly put a little lollypop to the back stick." What the fuck is this?

 

Martin Tyler's Monkey and his need to put the word "absolutely" in front of whatever adjective he uses to describe a particular pass/shot/goal/foul/dive etc.

 

Any commentator who has to shout "RRRROOOOOOOOONNNEEEEEEEEEEEYYY!!!!".

[sir roger]

Tyldesley said that? Where were you watching it?

 

Sorry SF , obviously wasn't paying enough notice , it was Peter Drury I believe.

[Guest]

When they don't actually know their facts.

 

I don't mean knowing how many sideways passes Lucas made in pre-season.

 

I mean facts that anyone doing half a job should know.

 

These clowns are being employed for their "knowledge" of the game, yet they quite often say things that are factually incorrect and base their argument on these "facts" and they're not pulled up on it.

 

It's far more important to be able to slouch sytlishly and say something controversial, preferrably something Richard Keys has prompted you to say, than to actually get your facts right.

 

I don't know how many times one of the Sky panel have pulled out some half-finished "fact" with a question mark at the end and looked at the others for confirmation, only for them to be even more clueless about whether it's true than the original clown who brought it up.

[JER]

I like Alan Green, apart from that they are all pretty mediocre

 

"It's the friendly derby"

 

"Sherringham is such a clever player"

 

"That wily operator, Sir Alex"

 

"Goals pay the rent, and Keegan does his share"

 

"They think it's all over" Good line at the time, but now just reminds me of Nick Hancock and smugness

[Steve Holt]

Sorry SF , obviously wasn't paying enough notice , it was Peter Drury I believe.

 

I was asking cos I watched it online and I thought if Tylds had said it it must have been on itv1. That would have pissed me off. lol

[Guest]

I was asking cos I watched it online and I thought if Tylds had said it it must have been on itv1. That would have pissed me off. lol

 

It was on ITV1

[Trumo]

They don't let Jack out anymore, do they?

 

Maybe if he drank the same macrobiotic gunge his brother advertises, he could be kept more regular, and then he'd be let out more.

 

I still find it funny when they show that footage of him and Aldo going spare on that 4th official at the 1994 World Cup.

 

[YOUTUBE]wSJVL74OlQk[/YOUTUBE]

[Guest]

Maybe if he drank the same macrobiotic gunge his brother advertises, he could be kept more regular, and then he'd be let out more.

 

I still find it funny when they show that footage of him and Aldo going spare on that 4th official at the 1994 World Cup.

 

[YOUTUBE]wSJVL74OlQk[/YOUTUBE]

 

The funniest thing about that clip is the shirt, tie and baseball cap combo Big Jack is pulling off there and the other people on the Republic bench with their baseball caps on backwards.

[torahboy]

[quote=Mac4;1886617

 

David Fairclough the most boring analyst ever.

 

 

 

"Very much so".

[Trumo]

Craig Burley.

 

I don't need to pick an example.

[Pdool]

Peter Schmeichel during a world cup game -

 

''If that ball goes in the back of the net, thats a goal.''

 

 

 

 

Cheers mate.

[3 Colours Red]

" It's a big ask" - for anything thought of as difficult. First heard this piece of nonsense from Andy Gray and now other pundits are saying it. Never once heard anyone outside TV football say it.

 

Also, the over use of the word - literally. For example, Andy Townsend with half time analysis on a Champions League game last season explaining that an attacker was being denied space in the penaly area.

 

 

"Look!!!" he shrieked "the defender is literally up his backside"

[Guest]

"Very much so".

 

Ha.

 

Spot on.

 

How many times does Gary Gillespie say "like" in his commentaries too?

[ElNino_9_TheKid]

"If it wasn't a foul, it's a dive!"

 

Normally spouted by the likes of Townsend or Le Tissier. None of whom, despite making a career out of the game, could spot the third possibility even if it came straight up to them and smacked them in the chops. So how about this:

 

100% fair challenge on the attacking player that in the process causes the attacking player to lose balance and fall over. Remember when Muamba of Bolton squared up to Torres last week? There was nothing wrong with what either of them did in that incident, and Nando didn't make a fuss of it either. Excellent tackle, corner given, that's all.

 

Completely agree with your point, but i believe it was Zat Knight.

[Mac4]

Completely agree with your point, but i believe it was Zat Knight.

 

dont recall muamba squaring up to zat knight !!!!

[fowler9]

"Liverpool got lucky today and really do rely on Gerrard and Torres" after Kuyt and Benayoun have scored in a win

[Soup]

'Put in a shift'. Fuckin annoying