Name Your Favourite Dictator

[Bjornebye]

Which beast

[Guest Super Sub]

KimJong Un. The guy is fucking historical straight out of an Austin Powers movie. The fact that he is such a comical figure makes he seem proper crazy!

[Jairzinho]

Jamie Dimon.

[Elmyn Noos]

Got to be Hitler for me, the cheeky little monkey.

[Mook]

No Mussolini?

 

I've gone for Stalin, Hitler gets all the publicity but for my money, Big Jo was the bigger cunt of the two.

 

Better moustache as well.

[Nunavut Patrick]

Idi Amin. Didn't he keep chopped heads in bis freezer?

[alles ist gut]

No Cromwell?

 

Also, no Usher? Kevin D will be disgusted.

[Elmyn Noos]

Stalin was a dude, but all the best war films have featured Hitler's boys. Also, most of Stalin's mass murders seem to have about preservation of power, which is a little vain for my liking. Hitler was comfortable in his power-base thanks to it being a result of our much vaunted system of democracy, so he killed lots of people that had stuff he wanted, like countries, or that he just didn't fucking like the look of, like big noses. Top dictatoring that.

[Skidfingers McGonical]

Stain. Blamed everything bad he did on Hitler.

[A Red]

Castro

[Skidfingers McGonical]

Stalin was a dude, but all the best war films have featured Hitler's boys. Also, most of Stalin's mass murders seem to have about preservation of power, which is a little vain for my liking. Hitler was comfortable in his power-base thanks to it being a result of our much vaunted system of democracy, so he killed lots of people that had stuff he wanted, like countries, or that he just didn't fucking like the look of, like big noses. Top dictatoring that.

And he did it all while on various amounts of drugs. Including crystal meth, which he was on when he had a two hour non stop rant at Mussolini. Which made Mussolini join forced with him. Because he was scared not to.

[Boss]

Tojo, meant to shoot himself through the heart and accidently shot himself through the stomach when the American military police burst in to arrest him for war crimes. Then he apologised that he was "taking too long to die". He gets my vote.

[The_Goat]

Gaddafi had female bodyguards and is not even on the list. Shambles!

[Dr Nowt]

 

"The fuck?"

[Section_31]

Not sure I'd have Lenin in there, and where's George W Bush? He's the reason half the world is still tearing itself apart.

 

Mao for me, virtually eradicated the Triads and their maroon silk suited shenanigans, as well as a lot of corruption and led teh counter attack against the Japs. Cracked a few heads too, but good for him. The only reason we didn't like him is because we couldn't adict him to opium like we did a tenth or  their entire population.

[ZonkoVille77]

Kim Jong Il for me, purely for his love of brandy and the fact that he was an ace golfer

 

http://www.cybergolf.com/golf_news/alltime_golf_scoring_record_goes_with_death_of_kim_jong_il

[Mook]

No Franco on the list either.

 

And my wife's not made the cut either, a sorry state of affairs.

[Lee909]

Not sure I'd have Lenin in there, and where's George W Bush? He's the reason half the world is still tearing itself apart.

 

Mao for me, virtually eradicated the Triads and their maroon silk suited shenanigans, as well as a lot of corruption and led teh counter attack against the Japs. Cracked a few heads too, but good for him. The only reason we didn't like him is because we couldn't adict him to opium like we did a tenth or  their entire population.

 

Mao often avoided conflict with Japan and spent vast amounts of the war Stockpiling food and weapons to fight the Kuomintang after the war. 

[Josef Svejk]

Clear winner...

 

 

[cloggypop]

It is Genghis Khan by a fucking mile.

 

[JagSquared]

All these dictators are too mainstream I like saparmurat niyazov who led Turkmenistan between 1985 and 2006. Kids were only allowed to study the history/ spiritual book he wrote and he took $3bn into his own pocket. Built statues of himself everywhere, ensured everyone had a picture of him in their homes, banned beards and changed the names of days and months. Notably April to his mothers name.

 

He also did all the typical stuff like murder, oppression etc.

[Mook]

All these dictators are too mainstream I like saparmurat niyazov who led Turkmenistan between 1985 and 2006. Kids were only allowed to study the history/ spiritual book he wrote and he took $3bn into his own pocket. Built statues of himself everywhere, ensured everyone had a picture of him in their homes, banned beards and changed the names of days and months. Notably April to his mothers name.

 

He also did all the typical stuff like murder, oppression etc.

 

That's not even a real country for a start.

[Trumo]

It is. The Tajikistanis and Kyrgyzstanis don't like them very much.

[Bjornebye]

Fucking Dictator hipsters now

[JagSquared]

It very much is real. I've been to Ashkhabad. Its Probably the weirdest airport layover I've had. Pretty much just soldiers and other British Indians who were looking for the cheapest flight possible to India. All of us shepherded into a large aircraft hanger type building with a tiny bar and a little screen showing what I think was Russian mtv.

 

As we were there for a fair few hours I went to the bar to get a drink and the bloke in front of me asks;

 

"how much for a coke?" "One pound"

"how much for a beer?" "One pound"

"No in your money how much?" "One pound"

 

He orders a beer and a coke hands over a fiver , at which point the barman says "five pounds" and moved on to serve the next bloke.

 

Turkmenistan airlines is also the shitest flight I've ever been on it had no in flight entertainment other than that map which shows you where you are and a picture of the aforementioned despot.

 

While at the airport a particularly dead eyed looking man in military clothing and Russian military cap also boarded the plane. I'm confused as to what's going on. We take off and He takes his jacket and hat off and then rolls up with a trolley and asks "tea or coffee?" No effeminate men you stereotypically get just cold eyed ex spetznaz looking mother fuckers daring you to ask for a slice of lemon in your coke. The female flight attendant wasn't much better she had the a build of a weightlifter and a moustache akin to what I imagine Tom sellecks looked like during puberty.

 

It was an experience at least.

 

Trumo - I don't think the Uzbekistanis seem to be overly friendly either by all accounts.