Suarez bite v2

[House of Dirk]

Major Tom is right . I know it sucks but that's the rub and we will only make matters worse if we try and argue the toss . Playing devils advocate you would argue that its part of the risk you run employing a volatile footballer. Its not as though we didn't know the risks as we decided to employ him after his first bitey episode. We decided not to sack him when he did it the second time so we will get no sympathy now he's done it again. We gambled on him keeping his nose clean and lost. No half measures either ; right in FIFAs face in their flagship event with squillions watching it live 

Apart from the Major Tom is right bit, I see what you are saying. By the same token, I hate the idea that there is a possibility we don't do anything. We need to be getting under FIFA's skin, any which way possible. Even if we carry on in a dignified fashion (because that worked well in the past, right), and do everything we are suposed to be doing, I want us to be putting out some sort of defiance to FIFA about how we have been treated over this. I know it wont do any good, but when we have been hung out to dry by the likes of Bacon Face and our own inept lawyers previously, I want to see some authoritative action by us.

[Phoenix]

So he has been removed from the Uruguay hotel by the Brazilian Military Police according to twitter

[Anubis]

The whole campaign would be misconstrued and will just show Liverpool fans in a light where they are railing against a serial biting football player being banned from football. Which he should be. Just not domestic football!

 

Yeah, because it will make it so much worse than the 'muderers' and 'racists' chants we already get.

[magicrat]

Disagree to an extent. FIFA using their power to affect a national league is new. A clever club would be politicking behind the scenes with major European clubs to make them realise what this precedent could mean for them. FIFA get free use of your players to make billions but can then screw your domestic chances to make a point? No right-minded corporation would stand for that.

 

Unfortunately it's Liverpool and the Premier League so nothing will happen. Fuck all chance that Barcelona would put up with a 4 month Messi ban

Insomuch as Barca will be better connected at FIFA than Liverpool I agree but if this was Messi's third biting offence in the same circumstances would they have escaped ? Unlikely but as there no precedent its impossible to say. I fucking hate FIFA and their corrupt practices but I don't accept they have set out to punish Liverpool in this instance  

[FanchesterCity]

Disagree to an extent. FIFA using their power to affect a national league is new. A clever club would be politicking behind the scenes with major European clubs to make them realise what this precedent could mean for them. FIFA get free use of your players to make billions but can then screw your domestic chances to make a point? No right-minded corporation would stand for that.

 

Unfortunately it's Liverpool and the Premier League so nothing will happen. Fuck all chance that Barcelona would put up with a 4 month Messi ban

 

You made a really good point about them using the players for their own advantage / profit. although technically nobody is forced to attend the competition.

 

If players go on holiday and get arrested for something, then that impacts the club. Now it seems that if they go playing international matches and something goes wrong, they run the same risk. I'd hope there's something in their contracts to mitigate against that, but if there isn't - there soon will be.

 

I feel sorry for the clubs. They let their players go and play for their country (which feels right) but take ALL the risk if they get injured, or into trouble. Is it any wonder clubs take a sharp intake of breath when internationals come around?

[xerxes]

Disagree to an extent. FIFA using their power to affect a national league is new. A clever club would be politicking behind the scenes with major European clubs to make them realise what this precedent could mean for them. FIFA get free use of your players to make billions but can then screw your domestic chances to make a point? No right-minded corporation would stand for that.

 

Unfortunately it's Liverpool and the Premier League so nothing will happen. Fuck all chance that Barcelona would put up with a 4 month Messi ban

You are right that we are in new territory, but then again no-one imagined that any player would be stupid enough to bite a player for the third time in front of hundreds of millions of people, or that a player that did would be on a Clubs' staff, so although a precedent, it is unlikely to be repeated again.

 

LFC have done pitifully little to engage with UEFA in recent years, that is our fault. As for Barca, they would be in the same boat as they are bound by the same rulebook, although they have been much smarter than us in engaging with UEFA over the years.

[Russ Atmosphere]

So he has been removed from the Uruguay hotel by the Brazilian Military Police according to twitter

He's been arrested? Never a dull moment.

[Anubis]

Do the Brazilian Military Police work for FIFA now? Actually, given the demands FIFA make on countries they probably do.

[House of Dirk]

Did Pepe play yesterday?

 

He's been suspended more often than a magician's assistant, and yet he got the minimum suspension for that red card--one match.

 

I know it was a weak weak head-butt, but I do wonder what he would have got had he connected solidly.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKt4IBxD5oo&feature=kp

 

Ah yes, this Pepe......

[Jim MM]

Which will achieve nothing other than to make us look stupid. And that we're condoning what Suarez did.

And doing nothing will also make us look stupid, and that we allow FIFA to make us their bitch.

[FrenchEyeGlass]

:(

[FanchesterCity]

We have gambled on Suarez with his disciplinary transgressions and made a judgement that his goals are worth the bans.

 

IF we sell we will make a £50m profit if we wish to cash in our chips and gamble no more. Everything has not been loaded against us, it has been a calculated judgement.

 

We are not being pushed around, LFC know the score. How we respond will be equally calculating. If we get a refreshed Luis after a four month rest, tearing up trees at the end of the season when everyone else is knackered there may even be some positives for us.

 

You're right. Clubs often know the nature of the players they are buying - be it persistent red card offenders, or dressing room trouble makers etc. It's a gamble that they bring more to the table than they take away. Generally speaking, despite his bans, he's still brought more to LFC than he's cost them.

 

But isn't the gamble a continuous judgment? - where LFC must consider the likelihood of another transgression wiping him out for a full season or worse. So far the gamble's paid off, but they must be wondering how much longer that can continue?

[Major Tom]

Yeah, because it will make it so much worse than the 'muderers' and 'racists' chants we already get.

Woe is you.

 

My main point is that the whole campaign would a grand exercise in futilitly. Which I believe it would be.

[magicrat]

Apart from the Major Tom is right bit, I see what you are saying. By the same token, I hate the idea that there is a possibility we don't do anything. We need to be getting under FIFA's skin, any which way possible. Even if we carry on in a dignified fashion (because that worked well in the past, right), and do everything we are suposed to be doing, I want us to be putting out some sort of defiance to FIFA about how we have been treated over this. I know it wont do any good, but when we have been hung out to dry by the likes of Bacon Face and our own inept lawyers previously, I want to see some authoritative action by us.

In my humble opinion the best authoritative action we could take is to cut a decent deal with

Barca , get Sanchez and let them have the problem. Howling at the moon isn't the answer mate. The club needs to keep a cool head , say as little as possible about Suarez and keep focused on building the squad for next season. 

[SammyAftershave]

Leave Danny Mills alone. Along with Michael Elphick he published some of the best romantic fiction ever.

 

Fuck Danny Mills, he was a pub standard clogger and the best you could say about him is that he is a mono-syllabic gobshite and suck-holing companyman that is very seldom entertaining. However, this should be no reflection on his auld Ma who was an elite pub standard pianist.

 

[Major Tom]

And doing nothing will also make us look stupid, and that we allow FIFA to make us their bitch.

Look stupid in whose eyes?

 

What do you think we should do, Jim? And with what aim?

[Jairzinho]

Woe is you.

 

My main point is that the whole campaign would a grand exercise in futilitly. Which I believe it would be.

Woe is you? Fucking hell, MT. You think fans like listening to murderer chants?

[House of Dirk]

In my humble opinion the best authoritative action we could take is to cut a decent deal with

Barca , get Sanchez and let them have the problem. Howling at the moon isn't the answer mate. The club needs to keep a cool head , say as little as possible about Suarez and keep focused on building the squad for next season. 

I wish I could take the high road approach with this mate and can see the benefits of us going about our business whilst everyone is waiting for us to combust. Its the pile up of previous incidents, which we got wrong which drives my thinking on this particular one.

[Phoenix]

He's been arrested? Never a dull moment.

 

Sounds like a false rumour.

[FanchesterCity]

Nobody thinks LIverpool are FIFA's bitch. Not even rival fans.

Most think Suarez is a loose cannon and Liverpool are paying a price for that.

 

I would imagine most thought Suarez had another incident in him at some point - but just didn't see it coming in this manner. It's not fair on Liverpool, but I genuinely don't believe anybody thinks less of LFC because of this. They MIGHT if they start moaning about it (even though it's with some justification).

[J-V]

Fuck Danny Mills, he was a pub standard clogger and the best you could say about him is that he is a mono-syllabic gobshite and suck-holing companyman that is very seldom entertaining. However, this should be no reflection on his auld Ma who was an elite pub standard pianist.

 

 

Don't show that to Rooney.

[Major Tom]

Woe is you? Fucking hell, MT. You think fans like listening to murderer chants?

It was a reference to Anubis' continuing claims that everyone hates Liverpool fans and club and are out to get us.

[J-V]

He needs to come home to the bosom of Anfield.  Everything will be all right Luis.

[Major Tom]

Nobody thinks LIverpool are FIFA's bitch. Not even rival fans.

Most think Suarez is a loose cannon and Liverpool are paying a price for that.

 

 

I imagine most think he should have been banned for longer. That's normally how it works.

[Lee909]

http://seeingredonline.com/im-sorry-but-its-time-to-go/

 

June 26, 2014  by Seeing Red

 

I’M SORRY, BUT IT’S TIME FOR YOU TO JUST FUCK OFF.

 

Yes, you read that correctly, and yes, I know it’ll come as a shock to some that I’ve come out with a statement like this, but I can assure you I’ve not taken this position without a great deal of thought. I’ve considered it carefully, and enough is enough. You can’t keep defending actions like these and hoping that things will change. They won’t. I think we can all agree there’s clear proof of that, and Tuesday night was yet another in a long line of perfect examples. It’ll just keep happening again and again unless we address it correctly, right here, right now. And I’m not naive. I know that many will disagree with me, and that some will of course be uncomfortable with what I’m proposing, but I genuinely think it’s for the best if we put everyone into a giant lead safe, seal it forever, and drop it to the bottom of the fucking ocean.

 

What? Okay, a couple of giant safes. You’re right – one won’t be enough.

Ah, you thought I was talking about Luis Suarez, didn’t you? Nah. Do you need me to? I mean, I could, it’s just, well…I really don’t fucking care. Honestly, I really don’t. I think I did last time, and now…nothing. And this apparently makes me a bad person. I’m not sure whether I’ve tried to care and failed or if it’s just because I’m all Suarez’d out from last year, but whatever the reason I’m fairly certain that, ultimately, I just don’t give a shiny, silver shite anymore. He’s a flawed genius, that’s all there is to it, and he isn’t the first and won’t be the last. Personally, I’m far more concerned with the idea that I SHOULD care, like those I’d like to shuttle off this fucking planet pretend to.* There’s this idea that I should be outraged, like Sherrie Hewson was on Loose Women, and I should be expressing this outrage through any form of social media I can get my grubby little mitts on, like Frankie Cocozza. I could draw up my own ‘tolerance guide’ and stick to it when it suits me – perhaps having Kung Fu kicks to the chest at one end and bites to the shoulder at the other – then go spitting mental on Twitter and Facebook, even if I’m older than Joseph Minala’s Rubik’s Cube.

 

Truth is, this biting nonsense, or ‘Bitegate’ if you’re a virgin, isn’t even the worst thing to have happened at this World Cup. I’ve been more appalled at having my eyes raped by the sight of that globular bollock Adrian Chiles’ feet, or by Martin O’Neill modelling your dad’s summerwear collection, with his reflective legs buckled together as if concealing the world’s biggest predatory lob-on. Or by how many times I’ve had my mind fisted to the tune of Andy ‘Yep’ Townsend saying “Yep” a thousand times per “Yep” game, or by Clarke ‘Countdown Cock’ Carlisle telling us how Colombia’s Jackson Martinez has struggled to get into the fucking Ecuador side. I’ve listened to the co-commentary equivalent of an afternoon tour of Dignitas courtesy of Phil Neville, a grown man with highlights. I’ve seen a picture of Sol Campbell inexplicably dressed like Larry Grayson’s audition for Benidorm, and I’ve self-harmed at the notion that somebody would actually employ Gibraltar’s Danny Higginbotham to torture me through my telly.

 

Nevertheless, I would happily sit through it all again. Every single moment, every last ill-informed sodding utterance, every glance at a fat man’s bunions, than have to listen to the cretinous fucking judgement of the great British public, and the bombastic edification suggested by punditry nimrods like this stupid cunt:

 

Is this how I’m supposed to react? Like Danny Mills? Really? He bit someone on the shoulder, you absolute minge pipe, he didn’t bugger a Royal. But this is just one example of the hyperbolic and, in some instances, hilariously hypocritical reactions on show. Elsewhere, we’ve got Stan ‘I only hit her once’ Collymore wading in to suggest counselling, and Piers ‘My good friend the dead girl’s phone hacker’ Morgan calling Suarez an “utter lunatic” shortly before asking his “mate” Mike Tyson, a man who served a conviction for rape in 1992, for his views on the matter. Alan Shearer wants Suarez “hammered”, which is presumably how Neil Lennon felt after Shearer ‘accidentally’ tried to remove his face with a boot some years ago. An incident he was never punished for, by the way. Andy Murray can’t believe it, Bruce Springsteen can’t either, and pundits at the BBC are so outraged they forgot their employer practically gave the world’s biggest paedo a backstage pass to the knickers of every child in the studio for 30 years. But we can all jump on the moral fucking bandwagon when it suits us, can’t we? Just make sure your opinion includes a bite pun.

 

 

“I’m sorry, but they’ve got to throw him in jail and lock him up forever.”
- Danny Mills, a glistening shitcase of some prestige

 

 

Sadly, perspective seems to be lost at the drop of a hat, but I’ll see if I can offer some now. This is a sport, and it’s governed by a set of rules which are put in place for the betterment of that sport. When a player steps out of the tunnel and out onto the pitch they’re to obey those rules. If a player breaks those rules then they should be punished. So, quite clearly and quite rightly, Luis Suarez should be punished. For violent conduct. Because that’s what it is and nothing more. Just like a kick is. Or a punch is. Or a headbutt is. Or an unexpected and potentially life threatening forearm to the back of the head is (no matter how much you want to pretend like it didn’t happen, Wayne). A bite on the shoulder, though fucking stupid, isn’t worse than any of these. It’s violent conduct, should be treated as such, and that’s that. FIFA, UEFA, our FA, none of them should get to make up the rules as they go along, and certainly not because of public pressure or rival supporter reaction, but that’s what appears to be happening. If it isn’t, then how come we’ve all been asking how long his ban’s likely to be? Shouldn’t we know? Isn’t it in those rules you’ve written?

 

And it really doesn’t matter what your opinion is, or how much you dislike Luis Suarez or even LIKE him for that matter. It’s fuck all to do with you, and it SHOULD be fuck all to do with you. Your outrage is merely a byproduct of an occurrence, and let’s face it – it’s also complete bollocks. The only thing you’re outraged about is the possibility of Luis Suarez dicking your defence like it’s the last minge on Merseyside again next season. All your cry-arsing about deportation, expulsion or, if you’re a dribbling, egg-headed simpleton, jail time, is as transparent as it is pointless. It’s a sportsman, breaking a rule, in a sport. Are you really suggesting that Luis Suarez, his wife and two young children are uprooted from their home and removed from the country…because of a bite? A little one on someone’s shoulder? Because if you are, please, get in the fucking safe.

 

And so to the ruination of this piece in the form of today’s judgement. Four months. Four fucking months. A real landmark ruling by FIFA as nothing so stupid has ever been seen before. Honestly, watch the end of Transformers, that’s where I got the idea from. They drop Megatron into the ocean. Celebrations all round, no doubt, as the villain gets his comeuppance once more. Facebook and Twitter rejoice, memes everywhere, hilarious puns abound. He’s not even allowed to train. Not even allowed to stay in the same hotel. We could disguise the safes as Nandos or The Pound Shop and pretend there’s some kind of special event they simply can’t miss going on inside, like a Jordan book signing. I mean, they’d turn up to the unveiling of a fucking queef if they thought that useless shag epidemic was there, too. And she’s bound to have one ready (a book, not a queef), what with it being six months and a shiny new bastard since the last. I hope I haven’t offended Sherrie Hewson with this. Four months. No precedent. Four months, from thin air. £65,000 fine. Still, the great British public, they’ll be happy. The great British public, who sit up on Henman Hill / Murray’s Minge / Judy’s Quim, or whatever it’s fucking called now, with their painted faces and Union Jack bowler hats, waving little plastic flags. Dressed as knights. Wearing chainmail. They’ll be happy. The nasty man got his punishment. K-Swiss. Outrageous. God save the Queen.

 

 

“I don’t even follow football, but if this Suarez has bitten someone he should be deported.”
- Adolf Hitler

 

 

We’d probably need some sort of financial backing to pay for the safe(s), so I was thinking Kickstarter. Even if they escaped – loads of water. Big safe, made of lead, dickheads inside, ocean. Trust me, it’s a winner…

 

* Initial idea, abandoned because of spiraling costs.