False fucking nine

[Melchett]

 

What in the name of fuck is a "7 and a half"?

 

Me on an off day, according to yer ma!

[Barzini]

Me on an off day, according to yer ma!

 

Aye, she said you make a full 8cm on a good day.

[Simbo]

'Tika-taka' is the one that gets me.

 

Everyone seems to be saying it and it gets on my tits....an utterly shit saying.

[Melchett]

Aye, she said you make a full 8cm on a good day.

 

Yeah, but she meant in girth.

[A Red]

We need a false number 9, a libero and midfield quarterback.

[Stu Monty]

It isn't a deep lying stiker. It's a 9 that doesn't play as a 9 as he flits off into midfield and leaves space. The term perfectly encapsulates what the player does.

 

You might as well get annoyed with holding-midfielder or wing-back.

[Torvald Utne]

Well if he's a 9 that doesn't play as a 9 then he's not a 9, not a false 9, just not a 9.

[Stu Monty]

Yeah, we'll use that from now on, it's more catchy.

[Trumo]

In terms of how the position is played, it is exactly the same as that of a 'second striker', who would often drop deep to link up with the midfielders and wide players. Think of players like Baggio or Del Piero for example.

 

The difference between then and now is in how the other players fit in. You'll have wide players attempting to run beyond the defensive line instead of just providing an outlet out wide, and there normally isn't another forward playing further ahead. Hence the 'false' bit, because the nominal starting position is where a normal centre forward would be.

 

Messi is the most obvious example, but Totti was playing the role at Roma under Luciano Spalletti around 5-6 years ago. Back then, Roma weren't playing with any out-and-out strikers, firstly through necessity (an injury crisis) and then because they were successful with it. Instead of a proper striker, they had loads of players making attacking runs from midfield such as Mancini and Taddei. They scored shitloads of goals around that time, and Totti even won the Golden Boot one year.

 

When you play that role but still have 2 forwards ahead of you, that role has a different name - one that begins with a 'T' that Tomarse also hates. Totti was best known as one of those too.

[Guest LFD]

I don't think Shelvey was a false nine this weekend, he played as a striker really.

[TheHowieLama]

Yeah, but she meant in girth.

 

If she did it is still hilarious.

[Fugitive]

Won't be long until we have fraudulent 5's, replica 7's and a fucking mongrel 8.

[BCM]

Won't be long until we have fraudulent 5's, replica 7's and a fucking mongrel 8.

 

Ha ha love it

[rEddie]

"False nine"."Project". "Philosophy". "Recycle the ball". Not extravagant words or phrases in the right contexts (except the first one), but I find the repetitive use of them in football terms as being utterly pretentious. Give me "'ave it" any day.

[TheHowieLama]

Pretty difficult to get stuck in with a false nine.

[rEddie]

'Tika-taka' is the one that gets me.

 

Don't get me started on "Tiki-Tarka". Nothing gets me otter under the collar...

 

...See what I did there? How I chuckle to myself. Probably alone. Cough.

[General Dryness]

Won't be long until we have fraudulent 5's, replica 7's and a fucking mongrel 8.

 

We should invent the bogus 3. He could link up with the tricky 6 and the ever so slightly suspicious 2 (whoever fills this position should be made to wear a false moustache, and twiddle the ends of it from time to time, like a silent movie villain).

 

Combine the above with rush goalie and glory beckons.

[ZonkoVille77]

We should invent the bogus 3. He could link up with the tricky 6 and the ever so slightly suspicious 2 (whoever fills this position should be made to wear a false moustache, and twiddle the ends of it from time to time, like a silent movie villain).

 

Combine the above with rush goalie and glory beckons.

 

I don't find this funny.

[VladimirIlyich]

Is a false nine an upside down 6 ?

[xerxes]

false no9= we havent got a No9, we loaned him to west ham

[moof]

To be fair, Andy Carroll is the epitome of a 'false 9'.

[CtrlAltDelete]

 

hahahhaha - couldnt agree more

[dave u]

It isn't a deep lying stiker. It's a 9 that doesn't play as a 9 as he flits off into midfield and leaves space. The term perfectly encapsulates what the player does.

 

You might as well get annoyed with holding-midfielder or wing-back.

 

Only pretentious cunts use the term 'false nine'.

 

The above is exhibit A.

[ElishaScottBC]

shelvey has 33 on his back, beanbags to the false 9 theory i know gary neville is behind this somehow

[Antynwa]

False 9 is some Nouveau fuckshite term.