How many shits do you have a day?

[Sugar Ape]

I normally have two, at differing times during the day. Maybe more it I've been on a night out.

 

One of my mates has two a day, first one at 7.30am and the second at

18.00pm. Every day without fail, at the same times. Conversely, my wife can go 2-3 days without having a shit. She even went 5 days once. That can't be right surely?

 

Poll to follow.

[Lee909]

5 days is not right at all.

Varies with me 2-3 normally though.

Normally another 1 or 2 at work to leave the control room aswell

[Paulie Dangerously]

Around 3. One as soon as I get up to release a bit of pressure. Another, more substantial effort, after my tea/coffee and normally one around 7pm after my dinner

[Anubis]

Usually just the once. Twice occasionally.

[Pidge]

first one at 7.30am

 

That's a hell of an alarm clock.

[Total Longo]

Females tend to be a bit odd when it comes to having a turd. I used to work with a bird who went once a week. Bonkers. My Mrs goes about once every two days and is in and out within a couple of minutes. This is also bonkers. Twice a day, i go, without fail and i like to stay there that long that i get red marks on the back of my thighs, pins and needles in my feet and occasionally a bit of a crusty dried up clagger or two on my arse pubes. But at least i know i've squeezed out every last globule of fecal matter, and usually got quite far into a book as well. It's "me" time.

[Trumo]

If you go less than once a day, you are full of shit.

[Tyler Durden]

5 days is not right at all.

Varies with me 2-3 normally though.

Normally another 1 or 2 at work to leave the control room aswell

 

Do you work on the Deathstar or something?

[Lee909]

Feels like it,though it would be cooler than working the security room at the national lottery HQ

[Trucker Paddy]

At least 5, I've had 2 already, I'm up since 3am though.

I'm aware 5 and up is a fair bit, but its been like that my entire adult life and have asked my GP is it ok, full health check every 18 months and I'm in great health, don't smoke and have a decent diet although I can put some food away, go gym 3-4 times a week and I'm in decent enough shape, so nothing unusual to cause my excessive visits to the potty.

[Uncle_Meat]

Once a day, just before I leave for work. Occasionally in the evening too.

 

As for the morning dump, you could set your watch by my arse. Turtles head will try to nose out at around 8am dead.

[kingkenny78]

Some cunt at work keeps leaving shites the size of a Swiss Roll in the traps.

They actually poke right up out of the water and he must get off the bog like he's climbing off a motorbike.

Enormous.

The janitor's rigged up a wallpaper scraper gaffer-taped to a brush shaft to deal with the problem.

Poor fucker's having to do the hunt for brown October every day as this fella's regular.

[zigackly]

If you need more than two, you are probably ill.

[Trucker Paddy]

If you need more than two, you are probably ill.

 

I'm fucked so!

[Sugar Ape]

At least 5, I've had 2 already, I'm up since 3am though.

I'm aware 5 and up is a fair bit, but its been like that my entire adult life and have asked my GP is it ok, full health check every 18 months and I'm in great health, don't smoke and have a decent diet although I can put some food away, go gym 3-4 times a week and I'm in decent enough shape, so nothing unusual to cause my excessive visits to the potty.

 

Fucking hell Paddy, that seems very excessive. Your food must go in your mouth and straight out your arse.

[Trucker Paddy]

 

Fucking hell Paddy, that seems very excessive. Your food must go in your mouth and straight out your arse.

 

It's a bit odd alright, pretty much everytime I need a piss except when I'm on the beer or during the night I need a shit, as I said Doctor says it's nothing to worry about, so I'm at ease.

[zigackly]

If you weren't at ease, I reckon your frequency would be less. Maybe that's the problem.

[Melchett]

1 1/2 a day, I'm special I am.

[Tyler Durden]

Fucking hell Paddy, that seems very excessive. Your food must go in your mouth and straight out your arse.

 

He eats his tea sitting on the bog

[gumps]

Some cunt at work keeps leaving shites the size of a Swiss Roll in the traps.

They actually poke right up out of the water and he must get off the bog like he's climbing off a motorbike.

Enormous.

The janitor's rigged up a wallpaper scraper gaffer-taped to a brush shaft to deal with the problem.

Poor fucker's having to do the hunt for brown October every day as this fella's regular.

 

Thats something that I really find strange when I unfortunately comes across someones leftovers in public/work toilets. What sort of person just leaves it behind for someone else to deal with? Height of bad manners. Its not as if they didn't notice?

 

Also, waaay too much detail on this thread!

[kingkenny78]

This thread currently neatly dovetailing with it's forum neighbour 'Close Encounters of the Turd Kind'

[fowler9]

twice, first thing when i wake up and last thing before sleep, day after a night out i do about 5

[Remmie]

At least 5, I've had 2 already, I'm up since 3am though.

I'm aware 5 and up is a fair bit, but its been like that my entire adult life and have asked my GP is it ok, full health check every 18 months and I'm in great health, don't smoke and have a decent diet although I can put some food away, go gym 3-4 times a week and I'm in decent enough shape, so nothing unusual to cause my excessive visits to the potty.

I reckon you are pinching them off too early, i.e. a bit keen with your clutch control. I suggest you get some extra purchase by hitching a leg up or popping a wicked Slater.

 

Some cunt at work keeps leaving shites the size of a Swiss Roll in the traps.

They actually poke right up out of the water and he must get off the bog like he's climbing off a motorbike.

Enormous.

The janitor's rigged up a wallpaper scraper gaffer-taped to a brush shaft to deal with the problem.

Poor fucker's having to do the hunt for brown October every day as this fella's regular.

This guy is clearly a crowd pleaser who loves to showcase his work to an ignorant public. Clearly not appreciated in his time like other great artists of the past. Love the sound of this harpooning system though, perhaps they could get some unemployed Japanese Whalers to step in.

 

Females tend to be a bit odd when it comes to having a turd. I used to work with a bird who went once a week. Bonkers. My Mrs goes about once every two days and is in and out within a couple of minutes. This is also bonkers. Twice a day, i go, without fail and i like to stay there that long that i get red marks on the back of my thighs, pins and needles in my feet and occasionally a bit of a crusty dried up clagger or two on my arse pubes. But at least i know i've squeezed out every last globule of fecal matter, and usually got quite far into a book as well. It's "me" time.

Spoken like a true prodigy.

[VladimirIlyich]

If you need more than two, you are probably ill.

 

Not true.

 

But 3+ a day can be an indicator of IBS.

[zigackly]

Not true.

 

It was just a rule of bum.