Shefki Kuqi

[Xherdan]

Newcastle have confirmed the signing of Finnish striker Shefki Kuqi on a free transfer.

 

As revealed by skysports.com earlier this week, Newcastle were lining up a move for Kuqi to solve their striking problems.

 

The Magpies targeted the powerful forward as they are desperately short of options in attack having sold Andy Carroll to Liverpool on deadline day and lost Shola Ameobi for several weeks with a fractured cheekbone.

 

The 34-year-old was available on a free transfer having cancelled his contract at Swansea last month by mutual consent and he has agreed a short-term deal until the end of the season at St James' Park.

 

Another option

 

Newcastle boss Alan Pardew believes the former Ipswich and Sheffield Wednesdayfrontman will add an extra dimension to his squad for the remainder of the season.

 

"We needed another option up front, because we're a little light there due to the temporary loss of Shola, and Shefki will provide us with something different," he told the club's official website.

 

"He's match fit and knows the English game well having been in the country for the best part of ten years. He is ready straight away and that's what we wanted.

 

"Shefki is a good, honest pro who will give us a strong physical presence from the bench."

 

 

Kuqi makes Magpies move | Sky Sports | Newcastle United | Football | Premier League | Sky Sports

 

 

 

You really couldnt make that shit up.

[paddyberger15]

The Lee Chapman of Finland. Only even shitter.

[Xherdan]

I see your Lee Chapman and raise you a Dean Windass.

[Josef Svejk]

I occasionally have a degree of sympathy for the Geordies. Admittedly, it doesn't last...

[Strontium]

Kuqi's scored against us in the past, hasn't he?

[StevieH]

If Gillett and Hicks still owned LFC when we sold Torres recently, then this is exactly the kind of replacement that we would have signed.

[El Rojo]

If Roy was still here this thread could have been Liverpool related.

 

"Well I've a lot of time for Shefki after my tenure as Finnish manager, during which time I actually received the Helsinki Bugle's manager of the month award on not one but too different occasions..."

[cartman]

If Gillett and Hicks still owned LFC when we sold Torres recently, then this is exactly the kind of replacement that we would have signed.

 

Haha fucking true that.

[Scott_M]

No matter how bad things sometime get for us, teams like Newcastle, Leeds and Everton always make me remember how lucky we are.

[paddyberger15]

I see your Lee Chapman and raise you a Dean Windass.

 

Hmmmm. I meant Lee Chapman now, not when he played.

Windass could be a decent comparison.

I'll see your Windass and raise you an Imre Varadi.

[aws]

I'd like to laugh but we really did drop them in it.

 

*tries to stifle snigger*

[Xherdan]

I'd like to laugh but we really did drop them in it.

 

*tries to stifle snigger*

 

 

 

I see your compassion and you call you a fucking queer.

[Penfold]

raise you an Imre Varadi.

 

More like his wife, Olive...

[moof]

Christ on a bike. Haha

[silverlining]

Kuqi's scored against us in the past, hasn't he?

 

Every shit striker in the world has scored against us. EVERY SINGLE FUCKING ONE.

 

Here's a fucking list right off the top of my head:

 

Alan Smith

Pierluigi Casiraghi (possibly his only goal in English football)

Forlan (when he was shit)

KEVIN FUCKING LISBIE SCORED A HAT-TRICK.

That cunt with the Zorro mask or whatever it was (played for Fulham?)

Danny cunting Cadamarteri

Mido. Fucking Mido.

Shevchenko.

David Nugent.

Stephane Guivarch (nice signing Kenny, only goal in his career came against Liverpool. Hope Carroll's better)

Grabbi. Seriously.

Baptista.

[Wor Horse]

Ricardo Fuller, Andy Johnson. Being others.

 

It hurts so much more when they're utterly shit footballers.

[paddyberger15]

More like his wife, Olive...

 

Very good.

[silverlining]

Olive Varadi?

 

Errrr? What?

[Jonny83]

Every shit striker in the world has scored against us. EVERY SINGLE FUCKING ONE.

 

Here's a fucking list right off the top of my head:

 

Alan Smith

Pierluigi Casiraghi (possibly his only goal in English football)

Forlan (when he was shit)

KEVIN FUCKING LISBIE SCORED A HAT-TRICK.

That cunt with the Zorro mask or whatever it was (played for Fulham?)

Danny cunting Cadamarteri

Mido. Fucking Mido.

Shevchenko.

David Nugent.

Stephane Guivarch (nice signing Kenny, only goal in his career came against Liverpool. Hope Carroll's better)

Grabbi. Seriously.

Baptista.

 

Casiraghi - I had a quick check and barring the most pointless act of Wikipedia vandalism ever, you're fucking right.

 

Was the Fulham mask guy that South American, Sava I think his name was? If so yeah he was cack an all.

[silverlining]

Casiraghi - I had a quick check and barring the most pointless act of Wikipedia vandalism ever, you're fucking right.

 

Was the Fulham mask guy that South American, Sava I think his name was? If so yeah he was cack an all.

 

That's him. Fecundo or Fernando or Massivecunto or something.

[RobbieOR]

Sava was his name.

[Xherdan]

Those Andy Johnson goals in Woodison are a bad memory.

[Xherdan]

Sava was his name.

 

 

 

He was a total cunt. Only cool fuckers like Davids get to wear things on their face during a game.

[Trumo]

I've looked at your list, and while I understand and agree with your general point, I don't agree with some of the names on the list. Others I do.

 

Pierluigi Casiraghi (possibly his only goal in English football)

 

He definitely was NOT shit. We never got to see how he'd cope with English football because he suffered a career-ending knee injury. He was a very good striker in an era when Serie A was the strongest league in the world. And he never looked out of place in that company.

 

KEVIN FUCKING LISBIE SCORED A HAT-TRICK

 

Agree on this one. We were utterly shit defensively that day. What hurt more was that I paid £5 to watch that on PremPlus. We were also bossing that game until he got his first.

 

That cunt with the Zorro mask or whatever it was (played for Fulham?)

 

That would be Facundo Sava. That he's remembered for his masks rather than his goalscoring prowess speaks volumes.

 

Danny cunting Cadamarteri

 

Ah yes, Everton's answer to Owen, before jug-eared Jeffers came along. This guy was shit, but he made a mug of Kvarme, which makes Kvarme the 1990s version of Paul McShane.

 

Mido. Fucking Mido.

 

He had the tools to be a top player. Unfortunately, confidence in his own ability didn't translate into showing much of that ability. Amr Zaki is another moody cunt who didn't like Mido either.

 

Shevchenko.

 

The player that turned up at Chelsea is not the same player as the Ukrainian who was one of the world's best strikers in the last decade. The beginning of his decline can be traced back to a double-save by Dudek in Istanbul. That broke him before he stepped up in the shoot-out.

 

David Nugent.

 

Grew up as a Blueshite fan, and went on to have a similarly MOR career, doing nothing of note.

 

Stephane Guivarch (nice signing Kenny, only goal in his career came against Liverpool. Hope Carroll's better)

 

Seriously, he was a shit player. Quite possibly the worst footballer even to win a World Cup winners medal. He started in that final too!

 

Grabbi. Seriously.

 

Dear Lord! What is it about us that causes these no-marks to have an epiphany? He came, he saw, he did fuck all, he left.

 

And I can add a few names if I may.

 

Helder Postiga

Mikkel Beck

Andreas Andersson

Dean Holdsworth

Jostein Flo

Cristian "Chucho" Benitez

[paddyberger15]

Olive Varadi?

 

Errrr? What?

 

Do you need it explaining to you?