New Torres Songs for Chelsea

[ScouseJim]

Carra's gonna break your leg! Torres, Torres

Stevie's gonna break your neck! Torres, Torres

You dirty little backstabbing get,

You're dead to us you sulky twat!

 

Fernando Torres, Chelsea's new rent boy!

[Captain Turdseye]

As opposed to the Chelsea fans new song which will probably just be. Torres (clap clap clap) Torres (clap clap clap)

[Barzini]

A Chelsea supporter posted this on my facebook:

 

He's now a blue he was a red – Torres! Torres!

He's left The Kop to join The Shed – Torres! Torres!

 

He used to go out on the rob,

But now he's got a proper job

...Fernando Torres – Chelsea's number nine.

[nev1612]

A couple that I've seen on Facebook..

 

he's half a girl he's half a boy Torres Torres,

he looks just like a lady boy Torres Torres

he was a red he took the knock and now he's sucking drogbas cock,

Fernando Torres Terry will fuck your wife

 

 

 

His armband proved he is a Red Torres Torres,

but Romans money turned his head Torres Torres,

he'll think he has a better life untill John Terry shags his Wife,

Fernando Torres Chelsea number 9.

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

To the tune of 'boooo' by football fans.

 

 

Boooooooooooooooooooooo booooooooooooooooo.

Booooooo boooooo booooo,

buh booooo.

 

Repeat.

[Guest davelfc]

To the tune of 'boooo' by football fans.

 

 

Boooooooooooooooooooooo booooooooooooooooo.

Booooooo boooooo booooo,

buh booooo.

 

Repeat.

 

That's gone that one, everton have taken it.

[SCOUSE TAPAS]

Hes gone to be abramovichs bitch torres torres

 

He likes the feel of russian dick torres torres

 

But mongo got to you first he raped your ass

 

and then your birds.

 

Fernando Torres Abramovichs new bitch boy

[JohnnyH]

How about we sing about our own players?

[dirty_sanchez]

His armband proved he is a Red Torres Torres,

but Romans money turned his head Torres Torres,

he'll think he has a better life untill John Terry shags his Wife,

Fernando Torres Chelsea number 9.

 

That one's really good.

[J-V]

A couple that I've seen on Facebook..

 

he's half a girl he's half a boy Torres Torres,

he looks just like a lady boy Torres Torres

he was a red he took the knock and now he's sucking drogbas cock,

Fernando Torres Terry will fuck your wife

 

 

 

His armband proved he is a Red Torres Torres,

but Romans money turned his head Torres Torres,

he'll think he has a better life untill John Terry shags his Wife,

Fernando Torres Chelsea number 9.

Both very good

[Rorschach08]

Can we just drop the tune altogether? Really can't be arsed singing about him.

 

Chelsea will use some variation on that tune which mentions Liverpool for Torres because they haven't got an ounce of originality between them. Fuck him, move on, we've got 2 top strikers that need songs.

[scousertony88]

we should not sing a song with torres in, instead get behind our team. obviously booo him to fuck like.

[MOGLET]

I think the "Booooooooooooo" one has something about it, but the second verse is better.

 

Cuuuuuuuuunt cuuuuuuuuuuunt cuuuuuuuunt etc etc

[dirty_sanchez]

Or sing a song about Andy Carroll to the tune of his old song.

[redsoxs]

A couple that I've seen on Facebook..

 

he's half a girl he's half a boy Torres Torres,

he looks just like a lady boy Torres Torres

he was a red he took the knock and now he's sucking drogbas cock,

Fernando Torres Terry will fuck your wife

 

 

 

His armband proved he is a Red Torres Torres,

but Romans money turned his head Torres Torres,

he'll think he has a better life untill John Terry shags his Wife,

Fernando Torres Chelsea number 9.

The winner

[Indian Red]

The only song I am singing to THAT tune is the bus to villa park hereon. And I`d rather ignore Torres. He`s done what he wanted to do. We move on

[MOGLET]

Or sing a song about Andy Carroll to the tune of his old song.

 

Is it fair to use cast offs from a song for a Judas for one of our new players?

[Liquid football]

No seriously, are we gonna keep singing this fucking tune? Sick to death of it.

[Horus]

He could have been a Liverpool Ledge - Torres, Torres

But he chose the plastic flags instead - Torres, Torres

Nazi salutes from the shed

Whilst Terrys' in olallas keks

Fernando Torres - The Devil has your soul.

[Liquid football]

cheers

[dirty_sanchez]

Is it fair to use cast offs from a song for a Judas for one of our new players?

 

It's a song we use for players we love.

[Liquid football]

When i hear the same tune repeated over and over again with differing lyrics i think it actually makes me want to self harm.

 

Plus, i actually cant think of anything less appropriate to use for one of our players than the torres tune.

[Bob]

I came up with revised lyrics for this when in the shower last night, but it was more as a cathartic measure than to actually use and sing aloud.

 

I just wanted to put my feelings out there, and it seemed the most appropriate way.

 

I do think the tune should be scrapped. To be honest, i'd had enough of the song anyway since hearing Andy Carroll, Newcastles number 9; Ebanks-Blake, Wanderers Number 9; Insert shit player, Shit teams number 9; and on and on and on.

 

I think something simple at the weekend. The 'you should have signed for a big club' and 'where were you in instanbul' to Owen, however many may have felt when he returned with Newcastle, were spot on. To the point, made feelings clear, and he couldnt miss it.

 

Something like...

 

"You could have been a legend" to the tune of "you dont know what you're doing" repeated half a dozen times when he first gets involved or if (probably when, no doubt) he scores.

 

Make sure he knows, make sure he understands, and then swiftly move on. The fact that we're up against him so soon makes it necessary to give him something, but then we just get on with it.

[Block109'er]

DISDAIN def:

 

"The feeling that someone or something is unworthy of one's consideration"

[The Special One]

How about we sing about our own players?

 

What a crazy thought!