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Best football song

Faustus

By Faustus,
in FF - Football Forum

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Faustus Grand Master

Faustus

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Fuck all the rest. That is the daddy.

 

Was having a couple of beers at my mates last night before I went out and only then did I realise how absurd the '98 version of Three Lions sounds.

 

'Tears for heroes dressed in grey'

 

Shocking stuff. Baddiel, Skinner, Broudie- hang your collective heads in shame.

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dirty_sanchez Grand Master

dirty_sanchez

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World In Motion is THE greatest football song of all time. YNWA doesn't count obviously, but if it did, it would be the best.

 

Which reminds me, does anyone have a copy of "Pass and Move, It's The Liverpool Groove"? That shit was seriously bad, but Digger drops some rhymes on that as well.

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Faustus Grand Master

Faustus

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World In Motion is THE greatest football song of all time. YNWA doesn't count obviously, but if it did, it would be the best.

 

Which reminds me, does anyone have a copy of "Pass and Move, It's The Liverpool Groove"? That shit was seriously bad, but Digger drops some rhymes on that as well.

 

It's no Anfield Rap.

 

I also quite like Chas and Dave's offering for Spurs.

 

"Een de cup for Tottingham."

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AngryOfTuebrook Grand Master

AngryOfTuebrook

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'Vindaloo', it's got fuck all to do with football but I do have to sing to it when it comes on.

 

Did you check the title of this thread?

 

I can't connect the words "best" "football" or "song" with that shower of bone-idle, patronising, D-List luvvies shouting shite.

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Guest TesticleOReilly

Guest TesticleOReilly

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World In Motion is THE greatest football song of all time. YNWA doesn't count obviously, but if it did, it would be the best.

 

Which reminds me, does anyone have a copy of "Pass and Move, It's The Liverpool Groove"? That shit was seriously bad, but Digger drops some rhymes on that as well.

 

Yep. Giz yer e-mail addy, I'll pass it along.

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Lurtz Grand Master

Lurtz

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World In Motion without a doubt by a country hundred miles.

 

A seriously funny article about footie songs in the telegraph today:

 

World Cup 2010: Eurovision left trailing as England's songs hit new low - Telegraph

 

On Saturday evening the Eurovision Song Contest reaches its seasonal nadir.

 

Watching its glitterball excesses over the years, I have long laboured under the belief that in no other field of human endeavour can so much effort, time and money be expended for so little return.

 

 

Every year, thousands of man, woman and somewhere-vaguely-in-between hours are lost in the cause of coming up with a trans-continental hit record that might linger in the memory rather longer than a circuit of his bowl does in the mind of a goldfish. Yet in 50 years of trying, only Abba's Waterloo has managed to achieve the feat.

 

However, after spending an hour of my life trawling the internet this week, I realise the annual bing-banga-bonga-thon has a rival. Indeed, it is possible that not even Eurovision can compare to the magnificent creative futility that is the four-yearly attempt to come up with the definitive World Cup song.

 

Perhaps fearing that the tastes of the current squad veer towards gangsta rap rather than Mantovani, there is no official number featuring the players this time round. Indeed, there hasn't been one in 20 years.

 

The closest we have is a former national team coach, Terry Venables, taking on Elvis’s If I Can Dream, accompanied by the London Philharmonic, which is being used to promote The S*n on a television commercial.

 

The video of Tel’s crooning was recorded on the Wembley pitch, which at least provides us with clear evidence as to why grass refuses to grow there.

 

The tournament's official song is Shakira’s Waka Waka, which, after two hearings, already has me praying for the blissful release of temporary deafness.

 

While Waving Flag, the naggingly catchy tune of Coca-Cola’s World Cup ads - which almost counts as official - is performed by someone called K’naan, whose name sounds like item 37 on the Standard Tandoori’s takeaway menu. Though his song is not half as tasty.

 

Hard as it might be to imagine it, those three are the highlights. All that needs to be said about Commentators United, featuring the warbling of Clive Tyldesley and Martin Tyler, is that by comparison at least El Tel can hold a tune. Albeit not the one the song's composer had in mind when he wrote If I Can Dream.

 

Rik Mayall's bowdlerising of Henry V on a song called Noble Englishmen fails miserably to be either uplifting or even slightly, marginally, vaguely amusing. As for the former X Factor contestant Chico, he has come up with probably the worst couplet in pop music history in his execrable It's England Time:

 

"We are so delirious," he warbles at one point, "we take football serious."

 

But what marks this year's campaign out as a new low since the England squad began the tradition in 1970 with their No 1 Back Home, is the ease with which any amateur with a guitar, a personal computer and a crusader costume can record a World Cup song and put it into the public domain via YouTube.

 

Without wishing to give any of them the oxygen of publicity by mentioning them by name, suffice it to say some are truly horrible. Not so much in their tin-eared tunes and cloth-headed lyrics, as in what they tell us about the mindset of the average music-making England fan.

 

Largely, it appears said fan is obsessed by the war, is convinced the name of their country has a third syllable within it and that when God-given victory inevitably comes to Eng-er-land, their captain will be lifting the Jules Rimet trophy, despite the fact it has not been presented since 1970. Baddiel and Skinner have a lot to answer for.

 

The fact is, the only respectable World Cup tune remains Englandneworder's World In Motion, which celebrates its 20th anniversary with a remix of the John Barnes rap at its heart.

 

The former winger has re-recorded his contribution for a Mars advert, complete with a homage to the original video, the one in which Keith Allen larks around behind him, this in the days when the comedian was known for something more than being Lily's dad.

 

Though when you call up the original on YouTube to compare it with Barnes's revival, an awful thought occurs. There he is back in 1990, slim, athletic, vibrant, first revealing the moves later immortalised on Strictly Come Dancing.

 

Two decades on, he looks as though he has spent the intervening years subsiding entirely on a diet of Mars bars.

 

The only comfort in all this is that we are not the only ones. Many a nation will be heading to South Africa with a terrible tune ringing in their ears.

 

Though let's hope none are as bad as the one which accompanied Germany to USA 94. Called Far Away In America, it was a collaboration between the German squad and Village People.

 

The video – a masterpiece in unsuspecting camp – features Lothar Matthäus and his team-mates getting down with the People's construction worker, motorcycle cop and native American chief.

 

"America," they croon together, "it's a tough man's paradise."

 

Never before or since can Matthäus have looked as embarrassed as he does on the video.

 

As for Village People, clearly they got hold of the wrong end of the stick after hearing the German team's traditional nickname and thought they were recording something else entirely with Die Mannschaft.

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