Instant cunt identifiers

[Bjornebye]

People who pronounce “year” as “yurr” 

[Curly]

5 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

People who pronounce “year” as “yurr” 

Nego-see-ate. It’s so contrived it’s actually wrong. 

[Bjornebye]

9 minutes ago, belarus said:

Nego-see-ate. It’s so contrived it’s actually wrong. 

Nah fuck off with that. 

 

 

 

[manwiththestick]

Is it white boy day?

[Harry Squatter]

People who start working on their laptops on short distance train journeys. 

 

Acceptable on trips to far off places but getting on at Bootle Oriel Road then pretending to negotiate billion pound contracts before you go into the tunnel at Moorfields you can fuck right off.

[Dr Nowt]

Men who call other men “bitch”.

[Remmie]

7 minutes ago, Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper said:

Men who call other men “bitch”.

The type of person who will respond to your post by replying "Bitch please!" and the merry band of fellators who would then rep that comment.

 

This country.

[Elite]

18 minutes ago, Lizzie Birdsworths Wrinkled Chopper said:

Men who call other men “bitch”.

Homophobe

 

[Trumo]

Vermin who put stuff back in the wrong place when they decide they don't want to buy it after all. That fish you got from the fish counter? Yeah, thanks for discarding it in the freshly baked bread aisle. That doesn't stink at all.

[Babb'sBurstNad]

7 minutes ago, Trumo said:

Vermin who put stuff back in the wrong place when they decide they don't want to buy it after all. That fish you got from the fish counter? Yeah, thanks for discarding it in the freshly baked bread aisle. That doesn't stink at all.

It's shitty behaviour, but I like to go all Columbo and solve the crime.

 

"Hmmm, Galaxy chocolate, amongst the vitamins...

A woman's chocolate. Lacks imagination, middle aged. She's overweight, and guilty. Third shelf up, meaning she's average height. She chose the vitamins because to leave it next to the Vagisil was too damning."

 

Then you make eye contact with the most likely suspect at the tills. I'm fucking onto you.

 

Alleviates some of the boredom of shopping anyway.

[Bjornebye]

2 hours ago, Babb'sBurstNad said:

It's shitty behaviour, but I like to go all Columbo and solve the crime.

 

"Hmmm, Galaxy chocolate, amongst the vitamins...

A woman's chocolate. Lacks imagination, middle aged. She's overweight, and guilty. Third shelf up, meaning she's average height. She chose the vitamins because to leave it next to the Vagisil was too damning."

 

Then you make eye contact with the most likely suspect at the tills. I'm fucking onto you.

 

Alleviates some of the boredom of shopping anyway.

Outstanding take on genuine real life. 

[Trumo]

4 hours ago, Babb'sBurstNad said:

It's shitty behaviour, but I like to go all Columbo and solve the crime.

 

"Hmmm, Galaxy chocolate, amongst the vitamins...

A woman's chocolate. Lacks imagination, middle aged. She's overweight, and guilty. Third shelf up, meaning she's average height. She chose the vitamins because to leave it next to the Vagisil was too damning."

 

Then you make eye contact with the most likely suspect at the tills. I'm fucking onto you.

 

Alleviates some of the boredom of shopping anyway.

 

You'd be like this guy:

 

 

[Bjornebye]

34 minutes ago, Trumo said:

 

You'd be like this guy:

 

 

Remmie made a film similar to that. It’s called Me, Myself and Pie 

[lifetime fan]

Any grown man who instead of ‘dotting’ his i’s draws a circle above them. 
 

I meant what sort of cuntery is that...

[redinblack62]

On 22/02/2020 at 23:05, Doctor Troy said:

People who start working on their laptops on short distance train journeys. 

 

Acceptable on trips to far off places but getting on at Bootle Oriel Road then pretending to negotiate billion pound contracts before you go into the tunnel at Moorfields you can fuck right off.

Ive usually sorted mine by Bankhall. The useless bastards.

[Bjornebye]

26 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:

Any grown man who instead of ‘dotting’ his i’s draws a circle above them. 
 

I meant what sort of cuntery is that...

Where do you work ? The Early Learning Centre?

[General Dryness]

1 hour ago, Bjornebye said:

Where do you work ? The Early Learning Centre?

More like the Early Burning Centre.

[Jairzinho]

6 hours ago, General Dryness said:

More like the Early Burning Centre.

Yep, I read that too quickly.

[General Dryness]

5 minutes ago, Jairzinho said:

Yep, I read that too quickly.

Hahaha.

[sir roger]

On 22/02/2020 at 23:05, Doctor Troy said:

People who start working on their laptops on short distance train journeys. 

 

Acceptable on trips to far off places but getting on at Bootle Oriel Road then pretending to negotiate billion pound contracts before you go into the tunnel at Moorfields you can fuck right off.

In a similar vein , I went into McDonalds a month or two back and could barely get my tray on the table because of some cunt who had more equipment around him than Rick Wakeman.

 

[easytoslip]

This does my head in , the cunts who speak out loud on the train talking business, can I run that through with you , I’ve emailed him/ her, I’ll see you at the meeting, that type of shite. As someone said as if they’re some type of oil magnate or something, usually in a blue suit and brown pointy shoes, sorry if I’ve offended anyone as this seems to be some kind of trend, phone constantly on the ear or tapping away. 

You cant get any ear plugs that shuts them out , them and the crisp eaters.

[ZonkoVille77]

Just now, easytoslip said:

This does my head in , the cunts who speak out loud on the train talking business, can I run that through with you , I’ve emailed him/ her, I’ll see you at the meeting, that type of shite. As someone said as if they’re some type of oil magnate or something, usually in a blue suit and brown pointy shoes, sorry if I’ve offended anyone as this seems to be some kind of trend, phone constantly on the ear or tapping away. 

You cant get any ear plugs that shuts them out , them and the crisp eaters.

 

Pure cunts, mate.

[lifetime fan]

40 minutes ago, easytoslip said:

This does my head in , the cunts who speak out loud on the train talking business, can I run that through with you , I’ve emailed him/ her, I’ll see you at the meeting, that type of shite. As someone said as if they’re some type of oil magnate or something, usually in a blue suit and brown pointy shoes, sorry if I’ve offended anyone as this seems to be some kind of trend, phone constantly on the ear or tapping away. 

You cant get any ear plugs that shuts them out , them and the crisp eaters.

The vast majority are doing this outside of their paid hours too. 
 

So not only do they act like the cunt, they’re doing work for free for their bosses to look a try hard  cunt. 

[cloggypop]

And the meffs are in second class. 

[Tony Moanero]

I once saw a fella walk in Wetherspoons about half an hour before closing, sit down at a table and pull out a copy of the Financial Times and a massive brick phone. He then proceeded to pretend to make a phone call and trade stocks and shares.

 

I saw him on another occasion when the pub was practically empty with plenty of empty tables. He sat opposite some fella, pulled a can of Coke out of his rucksack, shook it up and tried to spray the fella opposite with the contents.