The Ailment thread

[Sugar Ape]

4 minutes ago, Elite said:

Just had a prostrate exam, dear god.

Could you see both of his hands while he was doing it?

[Captain Turdseye]

 

[Elite]

Just now, Sugar Ape said:

Could you see both of his hands while he was doing it?

I couldn't see past the tears.

[VladimirIlyich]

17 hours ago, Elite said:

Just had a prostrate exam, dear god.

Yes you were lying down,but did he examine anything,like your Prostate?

[Elite]

1 minute ago, VladimirIlyich said:

Yes you were lying down,but did he examine anything,like your Prostate?

It was definitely his finger, unless cocks can wriggle like a fucking rattlesnake.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

On 25/02/2020 at 17:50, Elite said:

Scalded my leg last week.

 

18 hours ago, Elite said:

Just had a prostrate exam, dear god.

 

Something fishy going on here.

 

'Dr, I've burnt my leg.' 

 

'Bend over son and drop your pants.' 

[mattyq]

Elite might have asked for it

"Dr, I've scalded my leg. Do you mind having a quick look? Whilst you're down there I'd really like you to finger my prostate"

 

Or maybe it was the Dr

"That's a nasty burn young man and whilst I'm here I might as well have a go at your prostate"

[Dr Arthur De Sabre]

On 28/04/2020 at 01:44, Elite said:

I couldn't see past the tears.

I feel your pain mate.

i have regular testosterone and psa (I think that is the name

of the test, but it’s basically for prostate growth via blood test).

week before kidney transplant they spotted blood in urine, waNted to check for any bladder cancer etc, as reduced immunity of transplant drugs can give cancer an open goal.

get sent to private urologist, for bladder scan, turn up in a rush, after work, busting for

a shit, but 5:20pm appointment, head straight for the quack, who talks about prostate issues, I tell him it’s cool, I have psa check and results regularly, he insists on getting his finger in, ive been backed up all day, needless to say, not that best moment to reflect upon.

thank fuck, I had told me missus to get out the room, the dr was like ah that’s not necessary, i said the fuck it is, go, now.

there is nothing pleasant about that experience, and you have to have something missing to go, ah I’d really like to stick me fingers up auld lads holes for a living.

cystoscipy was a fucking dream after that.

 

[Elite]

5 minutes ago, Audrey Witherspoon said:

I feel your pain mate.

i have regular testosterone and psa (I think that is the name

of the test, but it’s basically for prostate growth via blood test).

week before kidney transplant they spotted blood in urine, waNted to check for any bladder cancer etc, as reduced immunity of transplant drugs can give cancer an open goal.

get sent to private urologist, for bladder scan, turn up in a rush, after work, busting for

a shit, but 5:20pm appointment, head straight for the quack, who talks about prostate issues, I tell him it’s cool, I have psa check and results regularly, he insists on getting his finger in, ive been backed up all day, needless to say, not that best moment to reflect upon.

thank fuck, I had told me missus to get out the room, the dr was like ah that’s not necessary, i said the fuck it is, go, now.

there is nothing pleasant about that experience, and you have to have something missing to go, ah I’d really like to stick me fingers up auld lads holes for a living.

cystoscipy was a fucking dream after that.

 

They are well paid for doing what they do and rightly so for some of the sights they see and situations such as you shitting all over his finger. Needs must though, it's not pleasant but needs to be done. 

[johnsusername]

Self isolated for 7 days with a cough and temp. Had a temperature on Friday and Saturday (38.8), aches and pains (felt like a 100 year old) and a cough (not really persistent though). 

 

Temp is fine now, still slightly achey, headache, cough is slightly worse.

 

I must say I was having a pretty good pandemic until last week. Got a nice tan in the garden, been working out at home every day, spending time with the kids. This is a kick in the balls. 

 

[Dr Arthur De Sabre]

On 29/04/2020 at 22:17, Elite said:

They are well paid for doing what they do and rightly so for some of the sights they see and situations such as you shitting all over his finger. Needs must though, it's not pleasant but needs to be done. 

It’s a small point but I’d like to clarify, I didn’t shit on his finger, he stuck

his finger in my shit.

[easytoslip]

Lately Ive been introduced to Gout, today its in top form and the worst its been, I was told to take 1 tablet a day after a 4 day course of others, 1 a day until my demise, doesn't seem to work and neither do Zapain

It must be something I'm eating as I've been off the ale for 7 weeks. 

Is there any victims of Gout here with any tips on what to avoid,? I know there's a few, it's just trying to single out the main culprit. 

[KMD7]

14 minutes ago, easytoslip said:

Lately Ive been introduced to Gout, today its in top form and the worst its been, I was told to take 1 tablet a day after a 4 day course of others, 1 a day until my demise, doesn't seem to work and neither do Zapain

It must be something I'm eating as I've been off the ale for 7 weeks. 

Is there any victims of Gout here with any tips on what to avoid,? I know there's a few, it's just trying to single out the main culprit. 

I was given a steroid as i cant have anti inflammatory due to having kidney disease. I'm on Allopurinol daily. 

 

It's the kidney disease that's causing my gout though so not sure what it would be in your case

[Dr Arthur De Sabre]

23 minutes ago, easytoslip said:

Lately Ive been introduced to Gout, today its in top form and the worst its been, I was told to take 1 tablet a day after a 4 day course of others, 1 a day until my demise, doesn't seem to work and neither do Zapain

It must be something I'm eating as I've been off the ale for 7 weeks. 

Is there any victims of Gout here with any tips on what to avoid,? I know there's a few, it's just trying to single out the main culprit. 

 

7 minutes ago, KMD7 said:

I was given a steroid as i cant have anti inflammatory due to having kidney disease. I'm on Allopurinol daily. 

 

It's the kidney disease that's causing my gout though so not sure what it would be in your case

Similar to what KMD is saying, I had it before kidney op, have had it a few times since, it’s always when I’ve overdone something food wise, which I forget about, until I get that horrible weird fucking pain around me knee again.

i know this has probably not helped in anyway, but you have my sympathy.

[easytoslip]

10 minutes ago, KMD7 said:

I was given a steroid as i cant have anti inflammatory due to having kidney disease. I'm on Allopurinol daily. 

 

It's the kidney disease that's causing my gout though so not sure what it would be in your case

Yes that's what I've got to take daily, not aware of any Kidney problems as I've had all kinds of tests for stuff, ive been able to handle it for the most part, without knowing what it was but now it's turned grim. Not to sure about taking Zapain all the time to be honest. 

[easytoslip]

4 minutes ago, Audrey Witherspoon said:

 

Similar to what KMD is saying, I had it before kidney op, have had it a few times since, it’s always when I’ve overdone something food wise, which I forget about, until I get that horrible weird fucking pain around me knee again.

i know this has probably not helped in anyway, but you have my sympathy.

The mate gets it in the knee and said it's unbearable and can't go to bed, as he's in agony, the thing is it seems to move around. 

I've known a few that's got it but until now it's not been as bad as I've heard it was. Trial and error I suppose with my diet. 

[Elite]

Do specific diets not help? I know they'll be bland as fuck but might ease the symptoms.

[Dr Arthur De Sabre]

6 minutes ago, easytoslip said:

The mate gets it in the knee and said it's unbearable and can't go to bed, as he's in agony, the thing is it seems to move around. 

I've known a few that's got it but until now it's not been as bad as I've heard it was. Trial and error I suppose with my diet. 

Yeah, the part of it that fucks me off is the pain isn’t in the bone, it’s in the stuff around the bone, and it’s not like a stabbing pain it’s a fucking horrible squeezing pain. Grinds me teeth.

[Dr Arthur De Sabre]

Just now, Elite said:

Do specific diets not help? I know they'll be bland as fuck but might ease the symptoms.

I found it was one specific thing like MSG, eating too much of

one specific thing sets it off, it’s not (for me) like having to avoid all rich foods, there is something quite specific triggers it.

[Captain Turdseye]

18 minutes ago, easytoslip said:

Yes that's what I've got to take daily, not aware of any Kidney problems as I've had all kinds of tests for stuff, ive been able to handle it for the most part, without knowing what it was but now it's turned grim. Not to sure about taking Zapain all the time to be honest. 

Tell the doctor your concerns about Zapain and ask him to bump you up to Tramadol instead. You might still have some pain but at least you’ll be mashed. 

[Bjornebye]

On 05/05/2020 at 07:43, Audrey Witherspoon said:

It’s a small point but I’d like to clarify, I didn’t shit on his finger, he stuck

his finger in my shit.

GF Gold. 

[easytoslip]

12 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Tell the doctor your concerns about Zapain and ask him to bump you up to Tramadol instead. You might still have some pain but at least you’ll be mashed. 

Tramadol Nights, no thanks. 

[easytoslip]

10 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

GF Gold. 

Or, it wasn't buggery M'lud he was just giving me a wank with his arse. 

[Elite]

17 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Tell the doctor your concerns about Zapain and ask him to bump you up to Tramadol instead. You might still have some pain but at least you’ll be mashed. 

 

[easytoslip]

20 minutes ago, Elite said:

Do specific diets not help? I know they'll be bland as fuck but might ease the symptoms.

I've been eating more Mackerel etc, as supposedly good for you but bad for Gout, and tomatoes apparently, I think your right about blandness as there seems to be quite a lot of different foodstuff that triggers it off, some worse than others I suppose.