The world of a woman.

[YorkshireRed]

On 15/02/2024 at 17:50, Arniepie said:

got a cracker.

Been messaging this girl for the last weeks. Gets on really well and arranges for her to come to ours on friday.

Takes Thursday off to spruce the house up, picks her up on Friday and when she gets her she says she cant stay her cos the house is a bit dusty(she has asthma). Offers to pay for a hotel instead,books it and then nips to the shop whilst she gets ready.

Gets a phone call from her in tears saying come back,race back thinking someone has broken in and she is crying saying she just wants to go home.

Fuming, take her back to the station and sit with her in the boozer waiting for a train. The ice breaks a bit and she says how embarrassed she is..we start to laugh about it and say we keep in touch.

Message incessantly for the last few days,arrange to meet on sat and she says she thinks she is falling for me.

Gets a text this morning saying she doesnt wanna talk and can we leave it for a bit.   

 

fucking basket case.

RIP Arniepie. 

[Section_31]

On 15/02/2024 at 23:09, Mook said:

My mate went home on the bus the other night & it was only about 11pm so I went down my local for a few brandies, I was standing at the bar minding my own business and this bird turns round from her pals & starts chatting to me. We were getting on like a house on fire for about 20 minutes, even taking the piss out each other, I was finished my drink & spotted she was finished hers so casually said, "Can I get you a drink?".

 

Honestly, you'd think I'd asked for her thoughts on statutory rape. She couldn't get away quick enough. 

 

I rarely speak to girls when I'm out but it'll be even less frequent now. Bunch of fucking mental cases.

 

Possible because she was with her mates.

 

Women seem to live and die by what other women think (one of the things young lads misunderstand is that they think women get dressed up on nights our to impress men, they don't, they do it for other women). 

 

I've been fucked off after meeting a woman's mates, as has a mate of mine, he was seeing a girl happily for six months and was dropped literally the day after meeting her friends for the first time.

 

There's a reason most marketing and advertising is aimed at women. Men are simple cunts, all they want to do is shag women. So advertising can only get to us through women  (buy this car  get this job, make this money and you'll get a shag). 

 

That's why they could never make a version Take me Out where the roles are reverse. Women turn their lights off because the bloke has got brown shoes or owns a gerbil, men would never turn their lights off for an attractive woman, even if she was a serial killer.

 

I pity single lads now, massive non stop headfuck. 

[Mook]

2 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

 

Possible because she was with her mates.

 

Women seem to live and die by what other women think (one of the things young lads misunderstand is that they think women get dressed up on nights our to impress men, they don't, they do it for other women). 

 

I've been fucked off after meeting a woman's mates, as has a mate of mine, he was seeing a girl happily for six months and was dropped literally the day after meeting her friends for the first time.

 

There's a reason most marketing and advertising is aimed at women. Men are simple cunts, all they want to do is shag women. So advertising can only get to us through women  (buy this car  get this job, make this money and you'll get a shag). 

 

That's why they could never make a version Take me Out where the roles are reverse. Women turn their lights off because the bloke has got brown shoes or owns a gerbil, men would never turn their lights off for an attractive woman, even if she was a serial killer.

 

I pity single lads now, massive non stop headfuck. 

 

I think the whole #meetoo thing has fucked it, every bloke is a rapist now. 

 

I can't be done with Tinder and all that so am pretty certain at age 45 that I'll never have sex again.

 

Let joy be unconfined.

[Section_31]

4 minutes ago, Mook said:

 

I think the whole #meetoo thing has fucked it, every bloke is a rapist now. 

 

I can't be done with Tinder and all that so am pretty certain at age 45 that I'll never have sex again.

 

Let joy be unconfined.

 

Should try speed dating, that's how I met the woman I was seeing before my Mrs. It was boss, even if you don't meet someone it humanises people, I actually found it interesting just meeting new women and hearing what had brought them to that point, strangely, it boosts your confidence too as talking to people you don't know starts to feel less weird. I'd deffo try it, just go into it with no expectations and treat it like a night out, me and my mate would do it then just go for a pint after to debrief.

 

Bars/clubs have always been a total waste of time. A woman's shields are at maximum and nobody is their real self. 

[Mook]

1 minute ago, Section_31 said:

 

Should try speed dating, that's how I met the woman I was seeing before my Mrs. It was boss, even if you don't meet someone it humanises people, I actually found it interesting just meeting new women and hearing what had brought them to that point, strangely, it boosts your confidence too as talking to people you don't know feels less weird. I'd deffo try it, just go into it with no expectations and treat it like a night out, me and my mate would do it then just go for a pint after to debrief.

 

I didn't even know that was still a thing.

 

To be honest, I'm fairly happy as I am. A woman would only wteck my equilibrium. I'll never have to hear, 'Are you just going to sit about on the couch all day?' or "Can you turn that weird music off?' ever again.

[littletedwest]

Stay single pal. 

We're both ill. I've gone to asda get some shopping ( despite feeling shit) come back made her breakfast. Bought her a cake.

 

" why have you bought shit butter?" No fucking gratitude 

[Mudface]

4 hours ago, Mook said:

 

I think the whole #meetoo thing has fucked it, every bloke is a rapist now. 

 

I can't be done with Tinder and all that so am pretty certain at age 45 that I'll never have sex again.

 

Let joy be unconfined.

 

I know, we're not unique any more.

[Section_31]

Me when my Mrs buys a new item of clothing: "Looks nice that."

 

Mrs when I buy a new item of clothing: "Do you really need it?"

[Bob]

9 hours ago, littletedwest said:

Stay single pal. 

We're both ill. I've gone to asda get some shopping ( despite feeling shit) come back made her breakfast. Bought her a cake.

 

" why have you bought shit butter?" No fucking gratitude 

But... why would you buy shit butter mate?

[VladimirIlyich]

Yep. You clean the place top to bottom,tidy up and think you've done everything well but a woman is like a beagle who sniffs out the merest flaw like dust spot missed or an empty toilet roll or kitchen roll holder. 'Eliminate the positive,accentuate the negative' is their motto.

[littletedwest]

26 minutes ago, Bob said:

But... why would you buy shit butter mate?

It was normal butter. We had been buying the cholesterol lowering butter but they had none on offer and fuck paying 4.50 for a small tub. Last time this happened she said " not paying that get normal stuff"" of course when i do it, get moaned at

[Paulie Dangerously]

Trying to explain to MrsD that yes, the mould that has appeared in our bedroom is related to her buying a humidifier for essential oils but no, running a dehumidifier at the same time is not a cost-effective solution to the situation. 

[Mudface]

2 hours ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

Trying to explain to MrsD that yes, the mould that has appeared in our bedroom is related to her buying a humidifier for essential oils but no, running a dehumidifier at the same time is not a cost-effective solution to the situation. 

 

Recreate the process by spraying her hair with water while she's trying to dry it.

[Special K]

My wife hasn't spoken to me all evening after I shouted at her while we were in the car. She said I freaked her out and she's having a massive anxiety attack.

 

 

 

 

 

I shouted at her to stop the car as she didn't see the pedestrian she was about to run over as we were coming out of the shop car park.

 

 

[Lee909]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C2cXvQPMwMs/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

 

 

Fuvking lunatic

[chrisbonnie]

On 15/02/2024 at 23:09, Mook said:

My mate went home on the bus the other night & it was only about 11pm so I went down my local for a few brandies, I was standing at the bar minding my own business and this bird turns round from her pals & starts chatting to me. We were getting on like a house on fire for about 20 minutes, even taking the piss out each other, I was finished my drink & spotted she was finished hers so casually said, "Can I get you a drink?".

 

Honestly, you'd think I'd asked for her thoughts on statutory rape. She couldn't get away quick enough. 

 

I rarely speak to girls when I'm out but it'll be even less frequent now. Bunch of fucking mental cases.

 

But being honest, you did hope she wanted to have sex with you, didn't you?? 

[Paulie Dangerously]

Her: do you know where the V5 for the car is?

Me: no idea. 

Her: could it be in the drawer?

Me: still no idea love. 

Her: do you reckon it could be in the glove compartment?

Me: still don't know love

Her: actually do you think it's where we keep the passports?

Me: same as before over, still don't know. 

 

 

How many times until they accept an answer?? 

[Mook]

1 hour ago, chrisbonnie said:

 

But being honest, you did hope she wanted to have sex with you, didn't you?? 

 

It's the hope that kills you.

 

 

[YorkshireRed]

2 hours ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

Her: do you know where the V5 for the car is?

Me: no idea. 

Her: could it be in the drawer?

Me: still no idea love. 

Her: do you reckon it could be in the glove compartment?

Me: still don't know love

Her: actually do you think it's where we keep the passports?

Me: same as before over, still don't know. 

 

 

How many times until they accept an answer?? 

You could give her the answer she wants and it still won’t be good enough. Even if it’s precisely where said V5 is.

 

You won’t have answered with the appropriate tone and/or body language.

 

You won’t have answered quickly and/or loudly enough.

 

You didn’t just go and get it for her. If you did it won’t have been the V5 she wanted, it would have been something else and “it’s typical of you for not knowing that as you never listen to me”.

[littletedwest]

She had a bath the other night. Puts on deodarnt and all them oils women wear. Meanwhile I run another bath.

 

She walk in bathroom, leans over a candle to get her glasses. Then her arm catches fire. 

 

She  plunged her arm into Bath. Luckily she hasn't suffered any burns.

 

Who would have thought dousing your self in accerants and leaning over a candle was silly.

 

Funny thing is she had a dressing gown on. She was saying " I could see how worried you were about me" " not really dressing gowns cost a bomb" luckily that's OK as well.

[Elite]

15 minutes ago, littletedwest said:

She had a bath the other night. Puts on deodarnt and all them oils women wear. Meanwhile I run another bath.

 

She walk in bathroom, leans over a candle to get her glasses. Then her arm catches fire. 

 

She  plunged her arm into Bath. Luckily she hasn't suffered any burns.

 

Who would have thought dousing your self in accerants and leaning over a candle was silly.

 

Funny thing is she had a dressing gown on. She was saying " I could see how worried you were about me" " not really dressing gowns cost a bomb" luckily that's OK as well.

Funny that. Glad she hasn't seriously burnt herself though.

[deiseach]

On 23/12/2023 at 14:28, Section_31 said:

My mrs asks me unnecessary questions which then require further unnecessary answers.

 

If there's, say, a newsreader on telly and nobody else and I say "his hair is terrible".

 

"Who's hair?"

"His hair. The bloke on the telly. The only bloke on the telly."

 

If me and the Mrs were in the first ten minutes of independence day and we walked out the house and I said "what the fuck is that!?" She'd say "what the fuck is what?'

 

"That 11 mile wide alien spaceship".

 

 

When watching things on the telly she will ask me questions that have no answer. Last night we were watching Dune in preperation for seeing the second part in the cinema tonight and she asks me how the spice works. Well, it gets into the blood stream and interacts with the dark matter that connects all the atoms in the universe...I don't know, it's bloody magic! On the other hand, we have watched both seasons so far of The Wheel of Time and she hasn't asked a single question. What would I know about it, I've only read all fourteen fucking books.

[Bruce Spanner]

There was a car parked outside our house this morning where a woman was giving a bloke a proper bollocking.

 

It went on for at least an hour.

 

What the fuck warrants a one hour bollocking that you don’t just tell her to ‘go fuck yourself’ and walk away?

 

[redinblack]

 "Where did I leave that?"

"How do I know?"

 

Thats pretty much it

[Jose Jones]

18 hours ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

Her: do you know where the V5 for the car is?

Me: no idea. 

Her: could it be in the drawer?

Me: still no idea love. 

Her: do you reckon it could be in the glove compartment?

Me: still don't know love

Her: actually do you think it's where we keep the passports?

Me: same as before over, still don't know. 

 

 

How many times until they accept an answer?? 

I would have thought you knew this by now Paulie, being an experienced ladies man.

Women often when they talk to you do not want their problems solving or logical answers to questions.  What they want is to work through their thoughts out loud to someone who will just make encouraging remarks.

If you do try to solve the issue they get annoyed, because what they really want is to talk for a bit.