The world of a woman.

[Tony Moanero]

3 hours ago, Mudface said:

Came back late tonight, heating's been whacked up to 22°C, not a single internal door off the hall is shut, and there was one person in the house.

It hasn’t even turned cold yet!

[Mudface]

5 hours ago, Tony Moanero said:

It hasn’t even turned cold yet!

I know! Don't get me started.

[Remmie]

Apparently it's easier for me to cool down on the top floor with only a t shirt and not allowed to open any windows after the heating has been on unnecessarily all day then it is for Mrs Rem to wear an extra layer.

[Harry's Lad]

Mrs HL has just said we're using far too much kitchen roll as I used a square to wipe a small spillage on the kitchen table.

 

She then proceeds to wrap about 6 squares around her hand to dry the worktop after wiping it with a wrung out dishcloth.

 

Me.  You've just said we're using far too much kitchen roll.

Her.  Ohh, it's what it's for isn't it?.

 

 

 

[Harry Squatter]

[Bjornebye]

Snakes with tits. We’re on our way to Manchester to see my goddaughters and best mate. She’s driving. “Google this” “do that” “can I go?” “What does that light mean?” Just fuck off , I can feel her snarling me out of the corner of her eye because I’m on my phone and not obediently being at her beck and call like fucking Grist. I’m close to slamming the handbrake on in the middle of the m62 here. 

[Creator Supreme]

2 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Snakes with tits. We’re on our way to Manchester to see my goddaughters and best mate. She’s driving. “Google this” “do that” “can I go?” “What does that light mean?” Just fuck off , I can feel her snarling me out of the corner of her eye because I’m on my phone and not obediently being at her beck and call like fucking Grist. I’m close to slamming the handbrake on in the middle of the m62 here. 

Love and marriage, love and marriage......

[Bjornebye]

Just now, Creator Supreme said:

Love and marriage, love and marriage......

I may as well be on a horse and carriage 

[Captain Turdseye]

Just do the driving yourself. I won’t let her drive on long journeys now. She’s a shameless tailgater and I end up sitting in the passenger seat with my toes curled and my feet pressed down hard on the floor as if I’m trying to brake. 
 

Plus whoever drives gets control of the Spotify. Three and a half hours of 90’s pop music is traumatic enough, even without the reckless driving. 
 

The only time I’m happy for her to drive is if we’re going somewhere that I can have a drink. 

[Creator Supreme]

3 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Just do the driving yourself. I won’t let her drive on long journeys now. She’s a shameless tailgater and I end up sitting in the passenger seat with my toes curled and my feet pressed down hard on the floor as if I’m trying to brake. 
 

Plus whoever drives gets control of the Spotify. Three and a half hours of 90’s pop music is traumatic enough, even without the reckless driving. 
 

The only time I’m happy for her to drive is if we’re going somewhere that I can have a drink. 

Fucks sake, you are me and I claim my 5 pounds.

[Mook]

My missus will have a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit, she will then dump the biscuit wrapper in the cup with the dregs of her tea so that when I take it through to the dishwasher, I have to reach into the cup and get my hand wet pulling the wrapper out to put it in the bin.

 

Lazy & minging. Does my fucking head in.

[Trumo]

1 hour ago, Mook said:

My missus will have a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit, she will then dump the biscuit wrapper in the cup with the dregs of her tea so that when I take it through to the dishwasher, I have to reach into the cup and get my hand wet pulling the wrapper out to put it in the bin.

 

Lazy & minging. Does my fucking head in.

 

Harsh on your missus that.

[Oh Buoy]

1 hour ago, Mook said:

My missus will have a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit, she will then dump the biscuit wrapper in the cup with the dregs of her tea so that when I take it through to the dishwasher, I have to reach into the cup and get my hand wet pulling the wrapper out to put it in the bin.

 

Lazy & minging. Does my fucking head in.

 

My fuckwit does this too. You sometimes get the odd makeup wipe, cotton wool or bits of fluff/hair they've found in there too. Another gem is thinking that chucking everything in the dishwasher and leaving it all in any fucking direction is a perfect arrangement for things to be cleaned. 

[Bjornebye]

4 minutes ago, Papa Noël said:

 

My fuckwit does this too. You sometimes get the odd makeup wipe, cotton wool or bits of fluff/hair they've found in there too. Another gem is thinking that chucking everything in the dishwasher and leaving it all in any fucking direction is a perfect arrangement for things to be cleaned. 

Them little round cotton wipes. Fucking bastards 

[Harry Squatter]

My mate's Mrs was going out on her Christmas meal last Friday. 

 

He was off and she asked the day before if he would pick their youngest up from school so she could get ready to go out a bit earlier.

 

He said no, before he even got a chance to say anything else she was ranting and raving calling him a selfish bastard who didn't want her to have a good night out, stormed off upstairs slamming doors..

 

She comes down nearly in tears and asks him why he won't pick their son up from school and he just said "because tomorrow is an inset day so he isn't going to school so I don't need to pick him up either".

 

No apology or acknowledgement that she overreacted, just slopes back off upstairs. 

[sir roger]

Her , watching a film - That Jessica Biel looks great for her age

Me - why , how old is she ?

Her - well Flashdance was in the 80's

Me - that was Jennifer Beals

Her - oh

 

[Oh Buoy]

Been ready to go to the shop for the last hour. We've been delayed because she needs to hype herself up for a shower by swiping through TikTok.

[littletedwest]

Seen an advert for quorn yesterday saying "have more meat free days"

I said " couldn't be arsed with that"

" we have loads of meat free days"

" do we?"

"Yeah I bulk the meat out with vegetables"

 

 

[manwiththestick]

1 hour ago, sir roger said:

Her , watching a film - That Jessica Biel looks great for her age

Me - why , how old is she ?

Her - well Flashdance was in the 80's

Me - that was Jennifer Beals

Her - oh

 

To be fair to your missus, she's not wrong.

 

58 today..

 

 

[Geoff Woade]

She keeps leaving the taps running in the bathroom sinks. It’s basically any tap with the twist mechanism on the top, she seems to have worked the others out. Apparently flooded her own house twice by doing it and the habit has now spread here. Instead of learning to check, her serious idea at a solution is that at her house she’s going to have the sink capped off in the downstairs bog (‘nobody is allowed to do a poo in there anyway’ being the reasoning) and that I have new taps fitted that are like the ones in public bathrooms where you have to press the top down and it gives you about 3 seconds of water. She’s lucky she’s otherwise top quality.

[Bjornebye]

2 minutes ago, Geoff Woade said:

She keeps leaving the taps running in the bathroom sinks. It’s basically any tap with the twist mechanism on the top, she seems to have worked the others out. Apparently flooded her own house twice by doing it and the habit has now spread here. Instead of learning to check, her serious idea at a solution is that at her house she’s going to have the sink capped off in the downstairs bog (‘nobody is allowed to do a poo in there anyway’ being the reasoning) and that I have new taps fitted that are like the ones in public bathrooms where you have to press the top down and it gives you about 3 seconds of water. She’s lucky she’s otherwise top quality.

 

 

 

[VladimirIlyich]

8 hours ago, manwiththestick said:

To be fair to your missus, she's not wrong.

 

58 today..

 

 

She's three years and a day older than me. I'll never be that good looking(from a male point of view) as she is.

[manwiththestick]

1 minute ago, VladimirIlyich said:

She's three years and a day older than me. I'll never be that good looking(from a male point of view) as she is.

And I'll bet she's a better welder.

[VladimirIlyich]

21 minutes ago, manwiththestick said:

And I'll bet she's a better welder.

I couldn't disagree with that either.

[Harry Squatter]

Her: "next year you need to take more time off around Christmas to help buy presents, wrap them and tidy the house, this is too much of a rush and I'm stressed out".

 

She only buys presents for her family and friends so I don't need to have any input into it. There's nothing wrong with the house and I wrapped about 8 kids presents last night in half an hour. 

 

Her the last few days:

 

Goes to a works party

Meets her Dad for lunch 

Meets her sister for lunch

Goes the cinema

Meets her friends on Saturday afternoon for drinks and spent most of Sunday on the couch knackered with a massive hangover.

 

But I need to waste leave days next year apparently because everything is too much of a rush.