Thick Southerners do my head in

[bobhorse]

I just measured my taint, with a tape measure. It's 3.4 inches. That's longer than my schlong. Do I win a prize?

 

Yer but its a shit prize

[Remmie]

do we not all have taints? if i pull my pants down, you will see i have a taint. if you pull your pants down, i will see you have a taint. so, can we not all see that we have taints in common and not love one another and our taints?

Hey Assfuck, it's called your notcher, a taint is for the ladies dirty inch, notcher pertains to the male version. Notcher sniffing dumbass

[Paul]

Hey Assfuck, it's called your notcher, a taint is for the ladies dirty inch, notcher pertains to the male version. Notcher sniffing dumbass

 

It's actually called your (Gary) Stretch.

[Remmie]

It's actually called your (Gary) Stretch.

The word on the street is you ain't down with the kids no more teachy balls

[Paul]

The word on the street is you ain't down with the kids no more teachy balls

 

That's true. The kids are down with me.

[Chris]

That's true. The kids are down with me.

 

Ahem.

[Paul]

Ahem.

 

Steady on.

[Chris]

Steady on.

 

Sorry dude.

[Christian]

What's the legal term for getting shit on your taint?

AWS?

[silverlining]

This issue of people who live in Cambridge or Devon or CuntKnowsWhere supporting teams that are miles away from them, and have no connection to them is deffo irritating, but also understandable.

 

Not everyone is lucky enough to be born in Liverpool, or unlucky enough to be born in Salford or Surrey, so while those people find it easy to say that they follow Liverpool or Manchester United merely based on location, it's a bit trickier for some carrot-crunching in-breed, who doesn't have a Dad or Uncle (possibly the same person in some places) to influence who they support.

 

And as for all the die-hard football bores who claim that if they were born in Doncaster then Doncaster Rovers would be their team, yeah great, give yourself another scarf, you're a SUPERFAN.

 

But also accept that for poor unfortunates who live near Goodison, Blackburn, Fulham, Birkenhead, Hull, or whatever footballiing backwater you care to name, sometimes it's nice to also have a big team, that wins stuff, or is sometimes on the telly, to support as well.

 

And that decision is largely based on which players they liked, or who was the most successful team. It's human nature to have a desire to belong or fit in, and if that means having a Premiership team to support that has nothing to do with you, or your life, in any way at all, that's fair enough.

 

Apart from Chelsea fans. They're all cunts. Without any exceptions.

[Moschops II]

This issue of people who live in Cambridge or Devon or CuntKnowsWhere supporting teams that are miles away from them, and have no connection to them is deffo irritating, but also understandable.

 

Not everyone is lucky enough to be born in Liverpool, or unlucky enough to be born in Salford or Surrey, so while those people find it easy to say that they follow Liverpool or Manchester United merely based on location, it's a bit trickier for some carrot-crunching in-breed, who doesn't have a Dad or Uncle (possibly the same person in some places) to influence who they support.

 

And as for all the die-hard football bores who claim that if they were born in Doncaster then Doncaster Rovers would be their team, yeah great, give yourself another scarf, you're a SUPERFAN.

 

But also accept that for poor unfortunates who live near Goodison, Blackburn, Fulham, Birkenhead, Hull, or whatever footballiing backwater you care to name, sometimes it's nice to also have a big team, that wins stuff, or is sometimes on the telly, to support as well.

 

And that decision is largely based on which players they liked, or who was the most successful team. It's human nature to have a desire to belong or fit in, and if that means having a Premiership team to support that has nothing to do with you, or your life, in any way at all, that's fair enough.

 

Apart from Chelsea fans. They're all cunts. Without any exceptions.

 

Whereabouts are you from, Brendan?

[silverlining]

Whereabouts are you from, Brendan?

 

I was born in Netherton and mostly grew up in Formby. But Dad is a bitter.

 

So I clearly went for the glory option, although I can't really remember.

[Liam]

Il add Geordies to the list of thick cunts Iv met. A couple drink in my local who are cunts and I work with an absolute tosser.

 

Newcastle and Sheffied are both populated with cunts in my opinion.

[hunts_kopite]

What is it with people from the South, why are they totally clueless about football?

 

I'm working in Cambridge and most of the people in the office support random teams. Some lad born and bred in Cambridge supports Newcastle, why? - just because he liked Kevin Keegan, only been to one league cup tie when they played someone nearby like Peterborough or Norwich.

 

Some other lad in our office is from Huntingdon yet makes out he is the world authority on football, talks like Gareth Crooks and supports Man United. I asked him why he supports Man U - "because they've been the best team for the past 20 years" - never been to Old Trafford and has no connection with Manchester. A few of the security guards in my place support the Mancs despite never travelling further north than Birmingham.

 

The hotel manager where I am staying had a Man Utd shirt on the first time I came down and now all of a sudden he is a "die hard" Chelsea fan who swears blind he has never supported the Mancs

 

Yesterday I watched the Chelsea game in my hotel bar, everything was fine until about 15 Chavs walked in and started doing Danny Dyer impressions - they thought the "trophy free zone" flag was the wittiest thing ever even though we actually have won trophies before. They kept saying "Lampard has Gerrard in his pocket" and "Gaw ahn ma san" - "Cast iron penalty, that Agger defo fouled him". They then started to slag off Carragher for a good ten minutes about his decision to quit England "Ya daahnt turn ya back awn ya caantry, mind you all them scausars don't wanna be associated with us" - Too F-in right we don't!

 

A few started slagging off Liverpool saying how much of a "daamp" it was, 2 even said "you only have ta look at the place in the football factwy ta see haw much of a damp it is" - anyway - enough was enough and I butted in after smirking and laughing at their stupididty. "Scuse me mate they shot that part of the film on an industrial estate in London, they never even went to Liverpool" - They all looked at me like I had 3 heads "Aww a scaausa, calm down eh eh - haw da you know that" - i told them it was on the DVD commentary. "Anyway - we are gonna well win this game cos we've been the better side for the whole game, yaw teem will win naffin this year, ya gaa on abaat history - we are tha fyoootuure!!". I just laughed

 

I hate Chelsea even more now and hope we win the league to do their heads in big style - plus all southerners are completely cluless about footy.

 

I would just like to say for the record we are not all like that.

 

I have actually lived in Huntingdon most of my life after moving here from America as a baby and still live and work in the town. I have been a Liverpool supporter for as long as I have known what football is. Not as the result of any family connection or any other noble reason such as that; but just because my two best mates were reds and I had no other football influences (my dad being American he was not interested in football at this time).

 

For obvious reasons I am not present at every home game but go to as many as possible which some seasons is a lot and others may not be but when it costs me almost £100 to go to a game before I even step foot in the ground I think it is reasonable for me to miss a few. As a group we never miss a game on TV and always get a good crowd in for the games a crowd that I like to think has its head firmly screwed on in regards to football (even if lacking in other areas). I even chose my uni so that I was close to the city and that season attended all the Champions league home games except for two, the carling cup games including the final and 3 or 4 home league games. So please don’t put us all in the same basket as we are not all the same as the idiots you described above.

[hunts_kopite]

Doctor Troy - What is the lad from Huntingdons name? Unfortunately enough I may know him he he is in the right age bracket.

[Harry Squatter]

Doctor Troy - What is the lad from Huntingdons name? Unfortunately enough I may know him he he is in the right age bracket.

 

 

Zahir Ahmed - he's about 32, used to be a security guard where I work now he's working in my office.

 

 

The majority of ones i've encountered all live in Bar Hill which is between Cambridge and Huntingdon. They stopped showing sky sports in the Fox there because there was always fights between plastic Man U and Chelsea fans. Also watched a lot of footy in pubs in St. Ives and the only fans there are Man U and Chelsea too.

[Harry Squatter]

I would just like to say for the record we are not all like that.

 

I have actually lived in Huntingdon most of my life after moving here from America as a baby and still live and work in the town. I have been a Liverpool supporter for as long as I have known what football is. Not as the result of any family connection or any other noble reason such as that; but just because my two best mates were reds and I had no other football influences (my dad being American he was not interested in football at this time).

 

For obvious reasons I am not present at every home game but go to as many as possible which some seasons is a lot and others may not be but when it costs me almost £100 to go to a game before I even step foot in the ground I think it is reasonable for me to miss a few. As a group we never miss a game on TV and always get a good crowd in for the games a crowd that I like to think has its head firmly screwed on in regards to football (even if lacking in other areas). I even chose my uni so that I was close to the city and that season attended all the Champions league home games except for two, the carling cup games including the final and 3 or 4 home league games. So please don’t put us all in the same basket as we are not all the same as the idiots you described above.

 

 

Fair enough, I apologise if you thought I generalised too much. You are the obvious exeption. What does do my head in is the way people latch onto a team and then think they are the world authority on them.

[silverlining]

Fair enough, I apologise if you thought I generalised too much. You are the obvious exeption. What does do my head in is the way people latch onto a team and then think they are the world authority on them.

 

 

That's largely an insecurity thing.

 

When I was in Istanbul, the lad who knew EVERY song, word for word, no matter how fucking obscure or obselete, was an OOT'er

[aws]

What's the legal term for getting shit on your taint?

AWS?

 

For planning law purposes it's designated a brownfield site.

[hunts_kopite]

Fair enough, I apologise if you thought I generalised too much. You are the obvious exeption. What does do my head in is the way people latch onto a team and then think they are the world authority on them.

 

He's out of my age range there so I wouldn't know him.

 

I can understand the point you are trying to make and it is very valid. You rarely used to see Chelsea shirts in Huntingdon... most of the people here seemed to be either Arsenal or Spurs and Man Ure (but I am sure you get a large contingent of Man Ure in every town which is exaclty your point) but since Chelsea started winning things its blue shirts everywhere and a decline in Arse shirts. I just thought you were generalising a bit too much and felt the need to seperate myself and mates from these types and I know that proper Fans of these clubs hate these so called "die hards" too.

 

The first thing my mate (whose whole family have always had season tickets as long as I can remember) said the summer following their first championship was that he hated all these fans that had come out of the woodwork all of a sudden and he will be the first to knock them down a peg or two when they claim to be the ultimate fan because they know every song word for word or have a chelsea badge tattooed to their chest.

 

Well if you are ever looking for a pub to watch the football in and you happen to be in Huntingdon check out the Lord Protector. Its got a great sports bar and usually shows every game thats available on any channel out there.

 

Just remember all southerners are not like that!

[Harry Squatter]

He's out of my age range there so I wouldn't know him.

 

I can understand the point you are trying to make and it is very valid. You rarely used to see Chelsea shirts in Huntingdon... most of the people here seemed to be either Arsenal or Spurs and Man Ure (but I am sure you get a large contingent of Man Ure in every town which is exaclty your point) but since Chelsea started winning things its blue shirts everywhere and a decline in Arse shirts. I just thought you were generalising a bit too much and felt the need to seperate myself and mates from these types and I know that proper Fans of these clubs hate these so called "die hards" too.

 

The first thing my mate (whose whole family have always had season tickets as long as I can remember) said the summer following their first championship was that he hated all these fans that had come out of the woodwork all of a sudden and he will be the first to knock them down a peg or two when they claim to be the ultimate fan because they know every song word for word or have a chelsea badge tattooed to their chest.

 

Well if you are ever looking for a pub to watch the football in and you happen to be in Huntingdon check out the Lord Protector. Its got a great sports bar and usually shows every game thats available on any channel out there.

 

Just remember all southerners are not like that!

 

I think that a lot of people get fed up with these new age footy fans. The guy in work keeps making me laugh as he talks like Garth Crooks and thinks he knows everything about football, he even gave me the rundown of Benitez's tactics when he managed Valencia without telling me anything I didn't know already.

 

I also posted something similar in May when I saw loads of Shrewsbury fans at a service station on my way down - there must have been at least 25000 of them at Wembley that day yet they probably get gates of only 2000 every home game.

 

Have you ever been to Cambridge to watch Liverpool? - The Avery and the Regal are ok but the Regal is over populated my Engerland chavs. The Regal got trashed 2/3 years ago when Millwall played Cambridge in the cup. Will give Huntingdon a try as its the only place in the local area I haven't checked out yet. Went to Ely last friday and it was closed!

[hunts_kopite]

I think that a lot of people get fed up with these new age footy fans. The guy in work keeps making me laugh as he talks like Garth Crooks and thinks he knows everything about football, he even gave me the rundown of Benitez's tactics when he managed Valencia without telling me anything I didn't know already.

 

I also posted something similar in May when I saw loads of Shrewsbury fans at a service station on my way down - there must have been at least 25000 of them at Wembley that day yet they probably get gates of only 2000 every home game.

 

Have you ever been to Cambridge to watch Liverpool? - The Avery and the Regal are ok but the Regal is over populated my Engerland chavs. The Regal got trashed 2/3 years ago when Millwall played Cambridge in the cup. Will give Huntingdon a try as its the only place in the local area I haven't checked out yet. Went to Ely last friday and it was closed!

 

I wouldn't have thought you would get much luck in Ely bit sleepy to be honest. I haven't really watched many games in pubs in Cam but The regal is pretty big so I can imagine it would be a good place. I thought it didn't show the football though being a Wetherspoons and all.

 

Where in St Ives have you watched games? The Aviator is usually ok! If you do make your way to Huntingdon the Lord Protector is your best bet but it is a Spurs pub and therefore has a strong England contingent. It has the biggest crowds in town for England games (competitive ones anyway) but its not too bad usually and its my favourite spot for the football. It has two big screens which has the main game on and three little TV's that show a variety of other games and sports. The Sports bar does exactly what it says on the tin. It plays La Liga in the evening and is pretty much sport 24/7 with rugby, golf, boxing and anthing else that is on.

 

The Sun is ok as well, not as big or well equiped as the Lord Protector though but has most games on. I am led to believe the Territorial in the town centre is ok but that attracts mostly Man Ure fans so I dont really go there to watch games.

 

What gets me more than fans that coming out of the wordwork is those that disapear when a team is doing badly. I went to a Sunderland Burnley game at the Stadium of Light a few years back as part of a weekend on Tyneside as I lived with a Burnley and a Sunderland fan at uni. The place was dire and I was told that they lost 10,000 regular fans when they got relegated.

 

Now that is truly shocking!

[Harry Squatter]

I wouldn't have thought you would get much luck in Ely bit sleepy to be honest. I haven't really watched many games in pubs in Cam but The regal is pretty big so I can imagine it would be a good place. I thought it didn't show the football though being a Wetherspoons and all.

 

Where in St Ives have you watched games? The Aviator is usually ok! If you do make your way to Huntingdon the Lord Protector is your best bet but it is a Spurs pub and therefore has a strong England contingent. It has the biggest crowds in town for England games (competitive ones anyway) but its not too bad usually and its my favourite spot for the football. It has two big screens which has the main game on and three little TV's that show a variety of other games and sports. The Sports bar does exactly what it says on the tin. It plays La Liga in the evening and is pretty much sport 24/7 with rugby, golf, boxing and anthing else that is on.

 

The Sun is ok as well, not as big or well equiped as the Lord Protector though but has most games on. I am led to believe the Territorial in the town centre is ok but that attracts mostly Man Ure fans so I dont really go there to watch games.

 

What gets me more than fans that coming out of the wordwork is those that disapear when a team is doing badly. I went to a Sunderland Burnley game at the Stadium of Light a few years back as part of a weekend on Tyneside as I lived with a Burnley and a Sunderland fan at uni. The place was dire and I was told that they lost 10,000 regular fans when they got relegated.

 

Now that is truly shocking!

 

 

The Regal showed all the world cup games last year ad had a decent atmosphere, still had a lot of England nobs. It was equaly as packed for Spain Portugal and Mexico games which was bizarre, there are a lot of them working in the hotels and bars but i never thought that there would be that many.

 

Watched footy in St Ives in the White Hart, Robin Hood and Oak - nearly had a scrap in the Oak once as me and my mate went in and watched a Liverpool game - he's Indian and a few chavs in there kept saying "Even Pakis like footy" and "he's seeing which ground has the biggest crowds so he can phone his mates up and tell them to blow it up".

 

I'll wander into Huntingdon next time Liverpool are on and give that bar a try.

 

Agree about Sunderland, when they were shite half the ground was empty then this season they miraculously return as if nothing has happened!.

[hunts_kopite]

Yeah the Oak has that kind of crowd in there. Shame really as it has the cheapest beer in St Ives which of course is the reason why it attracts such crowds. The Robin Hood is good but check out the Aviato next time you watch the footy in St Ives it is at the opposite end of the high street to the bus station up by the Recreation Centre and Fire Station.

 

Our game against Sunderland in fact (which has sold out I may add) on Sat so I am sure I will be down there.

[RedinSweden]

I also posted something similar in May when I saw loads of Shrewsbury fans at a service station on my way down - there must have been at least 25000 of them at Wembley that day yet they probably get gates of only 2000 every home game.

 

When they went down to the conference they beat the average attendance record getting about 5,500.

 

bastard.