Premier League Round Up (May 13-18 2023)

[tlw content]

 

After the massive disappointment of last week, there was a glimmer of hope this weekend before the door was slammed in our face again. Leeds were winning, Forest were winning, Everton lost. Had it stayed like that I’d have been back on board the Blueshite relegation bus. It didn’t though.

 

Leeds and Forest both drew and we beat Leicester. I suppose it’s a small win as the Blues lost a bit of ground to Forest and Leeds clawed a point back on them. It just doesn’t feel like enough though. Fucking Brighton. Absolute shower of twats. Look at that how that table would look if they’d done their job last week. Everton would have one foot in the Championship.

 

It could still happen, but Forest need a win and Leeds would need to pick up at least four points. I’ve discounted Leicester but if they win both of their games that would change things massively. They won’t though.

 

Leeds gave it a good go against Newcastle and that result was good for us as it increased the pressure on the Geordies. Unfortunately they’ve got Brighton next so we know how that’s going to end. I should point out that I’m writing this an hour before that game kicks off, so I’ll discuss it later on. For now though I’m assuming Brighton will royally fuck it up again. They’re on the brink of becoming the new Aston Villa. I’ve said for years, never ever rely on Villa to get you a result. I'd 100% choose Villa over Brighton now though if I needed a favour. Villa have never done anything like that shit we saw last week.

 

Leeds did well against Newcastle but the game turned on a two minute spell with penalties awarded at both ends. Leeds missed the chance to go 2-0 up and then Newcastle made no mistake with theirs to draw level. Leeds had gone ahead through skipper Ayling and it was looking good when they were awarded a penalty to double their lead. But as soon as I saw my boy’s face I knew he wasn’t going to score. He looked terrified and it was a shit pen. Easy save for Pope.

 

It was a real Shot Through the Heart, some very Bad Medicine, definitely not a Bed of Roses and if it had been anyone else I’d have been angry, but he’s my boy and I just felt bad for him. He won’t Runaway, he’ll be there ’til The End. You can call it Blind Love but I’ll Always have his back. Keep the Faith, Patrick, I’ll Be There For You because I Believe.

 

Aaaaaannnnnyway, he missed and two minutes later some bum named Wober (literally never heard of him until this week) made a ridiculous challenge in his own box on Isak and Callum Wilson scored from the spot. It was a huge momentum shift and knocked the stuffing out of Leeds. Newcastle bossed it after that and that shit cunt Firpo inexplicably handled a cross to allow Wilson to score another pen. What's he doing? He stretched his arm up like a goalkeeper. Absolute dickhead.

 

Honestly, that Firpo is an total abomination of a player. I’ve written before about how horrific he is and John G called him the worst player in the league on the pod recently. It’s hard to argue when you see shit like this. He might be the worst. He’d been booked for a wild challenge and should have been booked again for the handball. He got away with that but ended up getting sent off later on anyway for dragging Gordon down inches from the edge of the box. Could so easily have been another pen. He’s a joke.

 

Thankfully Leeds had found an equaliser before he got his marching orders. Kristensen’s shot deflected in off the head of Trippier and it was deserved as Leeds were really pushing for it at that time. They were robbed of the chance of going for a winner by the shines of Firpo. Allardyce did the smart thing in dropping that shit keeper but he kept picking this bum. Thankfully he’s suspended this weekend so can’t do any more damage.

 

While the VAR check was taking place a Leeds fan got on the pitch and went over to give Beheddie Howe a piece of his mind. He even gave him a little contemptuous shove too before he was dragged away. Howe was asked what was said and he wouldn’t elaborate other than to say “it was personal”. I’m not one to condone that sort of thing, but I’ll make an exception in this case. I just want to know what he actually said. I like to think it was “You’d have made a great nazi, you snivelling cunt”.

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[alles ist gut]

Top, top ‘Asian Timo Werner’ analysis there, Dave.

[Pete]

Quote

Onto Sunday now. Everton lost 3-0 at Goodison and City didn’t break sweat. Still, it’s not the winning that counts it’s the taking part. I’d have been buzzing about this if Brighton had taken care of business last week. Imagine how close it would be now? I’d be positively giddy, instead I’m all biter and twisted and full of hatred for Brighton, the shithouses. 

Need to amend that typo. Brighton and biters conjures up a certain imagery...

Overall good summation of the week (even if there are a few to many Bon Jovi references). 
 

[King Kenny 86]

You're like my therapist 

I Get overjoyed, fucked off, annoyed and frustrated 

Then I think is it just me? 

Then I read the reports and round ups.

I am not alone.

 

[moin k]

Arsenal have had a good season by their recent standards. But I do have a problem with the media's double-standard narrative (and the hypocrisy of Arsenal and fans of other teams on Talksport) that they have kept the season entertaining when we definitely did not get the same level of credit when we went toe-to-toe with City (got 90+ points) and took things to the last day of the season on two separate occasions. So that just makes me feel that they can all just jog on.