Premier League Round Up (Dec 10-15 2016)

[tlw content]

Was there anything more pathetic this week than what we saw at the KingPower Stadium? No I’m not talking about City’s defending, I’m referring of course, to Michael Oliver’s new hairstyle. 

Is it even legal for a referee to have tramlines shaved into his head? If it is, it shouldn’t be. A referee is supposed to be an authoritative figure who commands respect. How is anyone going to respect Oliver when he’s bouncing around with fucking tramlines shaved into his head like some 12 year old lad who wants to look “street”? 
 
You’re a referee, you’re not supposed to be “cool” and trying to look cool only makes you even less cool, because you’re a referee and there’s not one single thing cool about being a referee. Just because Clatts has somehow managed to pull it off doesn’t mean the rest of you goons can follow suit. Refs either look like nerds or old men, and in some cases old nerds. They’ve always looked like nerds and they always will. Think about it, how many refs can you think of who didn’t seem like bad biffs? 
 
Graham Poll, David Elleray, Baby Bird Mike Riley, that little snivelling turd who got knocked on his arse by Di Canio… there’s nothing cool about being a professional ref, they’re basically grown up versions of the kid in school who no-one liked because he was shit at footy and was a bad grass. Those kids always grow up to be either coppers, bank managers or a Premier League referee, an they all, without exception, look like Tories. 
 
I bet even Clatts was like that too when he was a kid. He only became cool after his hair transplant gave him rock star levels of self confidence. Before that he was a loser too. Remember Stevie bullying him into sending off Hibbert in the derby? That shit would NEVER fly now, Clatts would see him himself as Stevie equal these days. 
 
The one silver lining to come out of this is that there will have been thousands of rebellious teens all over England fuming and having to shave out their tramlines because Oliver has single handedly ruined it for everyone. 
 
This needs stamping out now before it gets out of hand. It starts with Oliver and his tramlines, but where does it end? Bobby Madley with his ear pierced? Lee Mason with a neck tattoo? Craig Pawson going the full Daniel Agger and then whipping his shirt off at the end of games to show it off? Oliver should be refereeing in League Two this weekend, and only then if he’s got a sensible, nerdy referee haircut. 
 
As for the game itself, it was great. Leicester actually looked like Leicester again, albeit just for one game (they followed it up by losing at Bournemouth in midweek). Vardy bagged a hat-trick to become the club’s all time leading Premier League goalscorer. The man he knocked off top spot was Emile H*sk*y (one for the long time TLW’ers there!) and also in the top five were Tony Cottee and Muzzy Izzet. We don’t realise how good we’ve had it sometimes, but then at least Leicester have won a title this century so maybe my condescension is a little misplaced. 

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[deiseach]

I need to try and whizz through the Wednesday games otherwise this is going to end up like War & Peace.

 

The lad Tolstoy was a great one for calling someone a jabroni.

[SasaS]

Colina was cool.

[Anubis]

I've written to Oliver to ask him to grow a mullet so Dave has to get his hair cut.

[UnwelcomeinPeru]

Years ago Martin O'Neil said that Robbie Savage had 'everything except ability'. Ozil has nothing except ability, and what he has is overrated. When they are up against it he just has that 'nothing to do with me' look about him. I'd hate him if he was a teammate.

 

Herrera is the snidey kid who used to hang out with the bullies. Richard Hammond. 

 

I might need to get myself checked out, but I actually sort of like Costa this season. 

[buster69]

Didn't Junior Hoilett use to be your boy as well Dave? And Danny Ings before he joined us.

[William_Ulsterman]

I've written to Oliver to ask him to grow a mullet so Dave has to get his hair cut.

 

thats almost too good, have some rep.