little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

I cut my hand on Tuesday (Hades' voodoo is starting to work) and it's now bandaged. Means doing everything wrong handed, wiping my arse is like an episode of the Cube.

 

Someone closed my hand in a door in the early hours of Sunday morning. Similarly, I've had to become left-handed temporarily. The bold bit is so true, and I have been so surprised how so many seemingly simple daily tasks are a struggle.

[lifetime fan]

Try wiping your arse with a broken and dislocated shoulder.

 

It's impossible to wipe your arse without leaning to one side and causing excruciating pain in your shoulder.

[stringvest]

Try wiping your arse with a broken and dislocated shoulder.

 

It's impossible to wipe your arse without leaning to one side and causing excruciating pain in your shoulder.

 

 

what you need is an able assistant with a Karcher jet washer.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

And a wet room, presumably

[General Dryness]

what you need is an able assistant with a Karcher jet washer.

Or what's known at the local knocking shop as "the lifetime fan special".

[stringvest]

Or what's known at the local knocking shop as "the lifetime fan special".

 

 

yep, it's his 'happy ending'

[Rico1304]

A mate of mine fell off a ladder when the top slipped down the wall. He shattered both wrists and spent 8 weeks

In the pub drinking Stella. His mum had to wipe his arse. Women are tough.

[Mook]

A mate of mine fell off a ladder when the top slipped down the wall. He shattered both wrists and spent 8 weeks

In the pub drinking Stella. His mum had to wipe his arse. Women are tough.

 

Who punched fuck out his missus for him?

[Captain Turdseye]

Being misunderstood over the phone. I rang the leisure centre a while back and explained that I had MS and I wanted to work on my swimming technique a bit because it's not the best and I need it be less of a slog so I can swim more often without it leaving me sore all over for two days afterwards. They rang back last week and said yeah, they've got just the thing I was looking for.

 

Went down this morning expecting a swimming lesson and when I got there it was restricted to the shallow end and it was just me, two people with Downs Syndrome, three with learning disabilities and an old woman who wasn't there to swim but just to move around in the water.

 

Fucking wankers, man. Charged me more to get in than I normally pay to go and swim as well. Still, I've made three new friends.

[Rico1304]

Being misunderstood over the phone. I rang the leisure centre a while back and explained that I had MS and I wanted to work on my swimming technique a bit because it's not the best and I need it be less of a slog so I can swim more often without it leaving me sore all over for two days afterwards. They rang back last week and said yeah, they've got just the thing I was looking for.

Went down this morning expecting a swimming lesson and when I got there it was restricted to the shallow end and it was just me, two people with Downs Syndrome, three with learning disabilities and an old woman who wasn't there to swim but just to move around in the water.

Fucking wankers, man. Charged me more to get in than I normally pay to go and swim as well. Still, I've made three new friends.

Vegetable soup!

[cloggypop]

Being misunderstood over the phone. I rang the leisure centre a while back and explained that I had MS and I wanted to work on my swimming technique a bit because it's not the best and I need it be less of a slog so I can swim more often without it leaving me sore all over for two days afterwards. They rang back last week and said yeah, they've got just the thing I was looking for.

 

Went down this morning expecting a swimming lesson and when I got there it was restricted to the shallow end and it was just me, two people with Downs Syndrome, three with learning disabilities and an old woman who wasn't there to swim but just to move around in the water.

 

Fucking wankers, man. Charged me more to get in than I normally pay to go and swim as well. Still, I've made three new friends.

Made me laugh though, so well worth it

[Lee909]

Haha

At least you can piss in the pool and blame it on them

[lifetime fan]

I go to a swimming group like that every Monday morning with work.

 

It's virtually pointless getting wet for how much 'swimming' you can actually do.

 

Lifeguard is a bit of a lush though, early 40's, addicted to sun beds and massive norks.

[lifetime fan]

Emptying the bathroom to steam clean it, have a break half way through to enjoy a shit and have a browse on here.

 

Then realise the bog roll is in the fucking living room!

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Vegetable soup!

 

Everyone who laughs at this is going to hell.

 

See you all there.

[Lee909]

You won't be going alone

[cloggypop]

Everyone who laughs at this is going to hell.

 

See you all there.

Is it worse to laugh at Rico's joke or to laugh at CT's actual situation though?

 

I'm fucked either way like.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Young lad wanted a chicken and noodle soup for Lunch. So I knocked up the stock, cut the chicken up and then opened a bag of those alphabet noodles, which fell out of my hand and scattered all over the kitchen, under the Fridge/freezer and every gap possible. Just spent the best part of 20 minutes hoovering/brushing the little bastards up. 

[Lee909]

Not sure

I wanted to post some pictures but i could feel the pitchforks and fire burning my feet before i clicked reply

[Ezekiel 25:17]

People who don't use >to compare things > people who use >to compare things.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

Being misunderstood over the phone. I rang the leisure centre a while back and explained that I had MS and I wanted to work on my swimming technique a bit because it's not the best and I need it be less of a slog so I can swim more often without it leaving me sore all over for two days afterwards. They rang back last week and said yeah, they've got just the thing I was looking for.

 

Went down this morning expecting a swimming lesson and when I got there it was restricted to the shallow end and it was just me, two people with Downs Syndrome, three with learning disabilities and an old woman who wasn't there to swim but just to move around in the water.

 

Fucking wankers, man. Charged me more to get in than I normally pay to go and swim as well. Still, I've made three new friends.

 

 

Be careful when you do the swim with your gear on lesson, you'll never get that brick off the bottom if all them pockets inflate.

[manwiththestick]

Everyone who laughs at this is going to hell.

 

See you all there.

Just sat at my desk in work pissing myself laughing at it only to be asked by a couple of colleagues what as so funny. Oh, nothing you know, just Internet stuff.

[Captain Turdseye]

Is it worse to laugh at Rico's joke or to laugh at CT's actual situation though?

 

I'm fucked either way like.

Neither are bad things to laugh at. We've all been on this forum long enough to know how it works. Telling you lot was the second thought that crossed my mind in the pool. My first thought was how relieved I was that my bird wasn't upstairs with the kids in the soft play area that overlooks the pool. She'd have had pictures of it plastered all over Facebook.

[Mook]

My boss & me will sit in silence for hours some days & then as soon as she starts eating a packet of crisps or an apple she'll start speaking to me & it'll be something fucking pointless she's read in The Metro or asking me if I responded to an e-mail that I responded to two days ago with her copied in. Did her parents never tell her that it's rude to speak with her mouth full?

 

I'm going to fucking strangle her today, the fat fucking spastic.

 

[cloggypop]

Mook there, imagining his boss in a nurse's outfit with him on top of her