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Had a funny one a year or 2 back. Was at a party in Birkenhead. Totally smashed off me tits. Woke up the next morning in Park Gate, which is a good while away from Upton. The bird was quite fit, but didnt go down to well when she told me she lived with her parents, and i woke up to her dad coming in to her bedroom asking her who the "visitor" was. Lets just say i declined the offer of breakfast and made a sharp exit.

I didnt have a penny on me at all, far too long to walk, would probably take about a day. Ended up ringing me mate, who said he'd come get me after he'd been out shopping. So i spent a few hours sat on a wall in parkgate, looking out over the marshes, in all my going out gear, and not even a penny to get an ice cream.

 

That's a beautiful story. I remember on the last night at the end of my first night at Uni. Dave and I had been to the Krazyhouse, and I ended up going back to Kenny with this chick who was leaving for home the next morning after finishing her degree.

 

Had some awesome bone-age and then in the morning, walked back to my halls at about 8 in the morning. It was a beautiful June morning, I grabbed a bacon sandwich and a can of coke and just strolled back into town at my leisure. Then Dave, Ste Kelly and I went to the Sports Bar to watch Diouf tear the arse off France in the first game of the world cup, and all was good in the world.

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Guest PaddyBerger15
Haha, that's funny that.

 

Useful post that....how have you managed to rack up nearly 11 and a half thousand posts talking such shit?

See....piece of piss this self appointed quality controller lark isn't it.

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Useful post that....how have you managed to rack up nearly 11 and a half thousand posts talking such shit?

See....piece of piss this self appointed quality controller lark isn't it.

 

My posting record over 8 years can't be called into question by an utter arsewipe like yourself.

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Guest PaddyBerger15
My posting record over 8 years can't be called into question by an utter arsewipe like yourself.

 

It just has been, you're a boring, self important, tedious little cunt. Now havent you got some ace and hilarious American film to endlessly quote on another thread with your little smug friends?

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That's a beautiful story. I remember on the last night at the end of my first night at Uni. Dave and I had been to the Krazyhouse, and I ended up going back to Kenny with this chick who was leaving for home the next morning after finishing her degree.

 

Had some awesome bone-age and then in the morning, walked back to my halls at about 8 in the morning. It was a beautiful June morning, I grabbed a bacon sandwich and a can of coke and just strolled back into town at my leisure. Then Dave, Ste Kelly and I went to the Sports Bar to watch Diouf tear the arse off France in the first game of the world cup, and all was good in the world.

 

I bet you where walking with that "ive just been shagged" swagger! There's nothing better, beautiful morning, birds chirping, sun down on your back, no work to go to, a day on the piss watching footy with the lads...and an empty sack. Heaven.

Summer makes getting your end away even better. Fact.

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I bet you where walking with that "ive just been shagged" swagger! There's nothing better, beautiful morning, birds chirping, sun down on your back, no work to go to, a day on the piss watching footy with the lads...and an empty sack. Heaven.

Summer makes getting your end away even better. Fact.

 

Exactly that. Word for word.

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It just has been, you're a boring, self important, tedious little cunt. Now havent you got some ace and hilarious American film to endlessly quote on another thread with your little smug friends?

 

It's a bit difficult to find bandwidth space to be honest, asshat. What with your continued inane banter clogging up the site and making everyone chuckle to such an extent. I wouldn't feel worthy.

 

Oh and I notice you found something humorous to edit your post with. I bet you were like "I know, if I add that to the end, everyone will think I'm great because it's really, really funny and everyone will laugh, and She Knows It might let me shine her shoes for her."

 

And that coming from someone with an American Psycho avatar and adopted persona from the movie. Yes, pretending to be Patrick Bateman makes everyone think you're the coolest...

 

And don't call me a cunt, cunt.

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Guest PaddyBerger15
It's a bit difficult to find bandwidth space to be honest, asshat. What with your continued inane banter clogging up the site and making everyone chuckle to such an extent. I wouldn't feel worthy.

 

Oh and I notice you found something humorous to edit your post with. I bet you were like "I know, if I add that to the end, everyone will think I'm great because it's really, really funny and everyone will laugh, and She Knows It might let me shine her shoes for her."

 

And that coming from someone with an American Psycho avatar and adopted persona from the movie. Yes, pretending to be Patrick Bateman makes everyone think you're the coolest...

 

And don't call me a cunt, cunt.

 

Hasn't a 'really great bloke in real life' like you got anything better to do than follow an asshat and an arsewipe like me around a message board?

Cunt.

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Once took a bird home from flames (behind the quad).

She lived with her mum and dad who were upstairs while I did the biz.

Anyway turns out her dad and I shared a love of stereo equipment. He had this massive reel to reel tape machine. I was told not to touch his pride and joy.

After shagging his daugher and when she went to get changed I decided to have a wee fiddle and turned one of the nobs.

This sent one reel spinning wildy, sending reams of boxcar willie tape all over the place.

I turned the nob contolling the other reel and it jerkred into life and the previously unwound tape wrapped around the axel thing. The whole machine expired with a loud pop

and I bolted out the door. Poor lass. Good job she was a minger.

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Hasn't a 'really great bloke in real life' like you got anything better to do than follow an asshat and an arsewipe like me around a message board?

Cunt.

 

Nice comeback. It's not exactly following when my 'smug little friends' keep alerting me to each an every lame post you make. And average of 4,324 times a day.

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Guest PaddyBerger15
Nice comeback. It's not exactly following when my 'smug little friends' keep alerting me to each an every lame post you make. And average of 4,324 times a day.

 

As I said to you last time you followed me round after a minor altercation with one of your pals, when you came rushing into the rescue, I really wish I was cool enough to be in your old school, been here ages, we own the boards, gang.

Just think, when I've been here as long as you, I will have 5 times the opportunities to inflict my undoubted twattishness on the public, just like you have.

Now run along, you're getting tedious...oh, and if you're having trouble finding the word hypocrite in the dictionary, I'll be only too happy to point out what it means for you.

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As I said to you last time you followed me round after a minor altercation with one of your pals, when you came rushing into the rescue, I really wish I was cool enough to be in your old school, been here ages, we own the boards, gang.

Just think, when I've been here as long as you, I will have 5 times the opportunities to inflict my undoubted twattishness on the public, just like you have.

Now run along, you're getting tedious...oh, and if you're having trouble finding the word hypocrite in the dictionary, I'll be only too happy to point out what it means for you.

 

Tedious? Tedious. Holy shit you're funny, you.

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Tedious? Tedious. Holy shit you're funny, you.

 

A hypocrite is somebody who criticises somebody else for doing the self same thing that they do, but find no fault in themselves. Ring any bells for you?

Did I call you tedious and a cunt? Sorry dude, you're a leg, no you really are...and so funny, the place wouldn't be the same without you and your merry band of arselickers.

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If he carries on the bullying he'll get a slap at the footy.

 

He targetted Rob like he did me and its unacceptable - Rob's far too nice a lad to do it but am not.

 

This board can be quite precious when you first find it and due to time, work etc I dont get on it as much but still love it when I do - that horrible, bullying cunt is showing how twisted he is by trying to push people off it.

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Went on our first lads holiday a few years back to Magaluf. There was 7 lads and 7birds. Anyway you can all imagine what it was like if youve ever been in the same position, all in the wetherspoons in John Lennon at half 5 in the morning waiting for the flight, all getting id'd at the bar, get on the plane at half 8 pissed. Typical lads holiday stuff. When we get there me and one of the lads decided to go for a walk, and ended up at a little bar on the beach, Bar Puerto Rica it was called if anyones been to Maga. We sat there all afternoon drinking "grande" beers, which where more like fucking buckets than pints, and ran up a bill of about 40 euros between us. We stumble back absolutely smashed at about half 6 in the evening. Me mate then spends about 5hours in bed, throwing up, whilst we are all getting ready to go out and all that.He then gets his second wind and we all head out for our first night.

 

Out on to the main strip, and it was mental. We'd never seen anything like it in our lives. End up getting absolutely hammerd, went some strip club where one of the doormen was from birkenhead so he let us all in free. All of us sat round in the "private room" with our own stripper, legs spread infront of your face, all looking at eachother with little cheaky grins. It was funny as fuck. Then at the end of the night we head down the beach. Ended up bumping in to these scouse birds, who where proper rough sluts. Absolutely dog rough. Anyway, i slotted one of them in the sea whilst another one of the lads was with one of the other birds. Later on, i ended up slotting another one of them. The only thing ill say is the term "beached whale" was made for her. Not a pretty sight. She looked at home beached up on the sand. But as i always say, you never know when your gonna get your next shag, so i swallowed me pride and give her one.

 

Next morning we are all talking by the pool, buzzing our tits off over our first night's success. Turns out the first bird who i done, two of the lads had a go of her afterwards, then another one of the lads went down on her on a sunlounger! The dirty cunt still gets ripped for it to this day!

Fuckin love lads holidays, so many stories to tell when you get home.

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Guest PaddyBerger15
If he carries on the bullying he'll get a slap at the footy.

 

He targetted Rob like he did me and its unacceptable - Rob's far too nice a lad to do it but am not.

 

This board can be quite precious when you first find it and due to time, work etc I dont get on it as much but still love it when I do - that horrible, bullying cunt is showing how twisted he is by trying to push people off it.

 

He's just like one of those irritating like gnats that just buzzes around your earhole Dom, makes alot of noise, serves no real purpose and as soon as the opportunity presents itself, you take great pleasure in slapping its face up the window.

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If he carries on the bullying he'll get a slap at the footy.

 

He targetted Rob like he did me and its unacceptable - Rob's far too nice a lad to do it but am not.

 

This board can be quite precious when you first find it and due to time, work etc I dont get on it as much but still love it when I do - that horrible, bullying cunt is showing how twisted he is by trying to push people off it.

 

Hold on a sec... have we ever even interacted before on the forum?

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He's just like one of those irritating like gnats that just buzzes around your earhole Dom, makes alot of noise, serves no real purpose and as soon as the opportunity presents itself, you take great pleasure in slapping its face up the window.

 

What was that definition of hypocrite again? You could do with refreshing your memory. I wouldn't want to be the victim of Patrick Bateman's wrath, that would suck.

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Guest PaddyBerger15
Pack it in the pair of you. You want your bloody heads banging together.

 

Ooooh, get you, Lady Muck of Cowshit Farm all of a sudden. Let the living internet leg have his say Liz, as his opinion isn't a matter of supreme indifference to me at all. Once he's finished being amusing, and having a pop at the nasty new interlopers invading his imagined territory, he will fuck off and annoy someone else.

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