One night stands

[Unrighteous]

Ill let you off, you seem a sound lad.

 

Ta mate... I only had the best of intentons.

 

 

For tonight, anywho! :thumbsup:

[Unrighteous]

She's told me on numerous occasions, she'd fuck me if she was single. It's an unspoken thing we have these days, but the odd look we give each other confirms it.

 

Indeed indeed... I honestly thought you were plugging her untill I start chatting to her at the Kray.

 

I then was thinking... wait a minute? Is she single? I know that look!

[Unrighteous]

you know chris... if I had your willingness to approach birds. My lifetime numbers would have probably been doubled...

 

Scary thought, that. My dick would probably fall off if that happened...

[Randy Marsh]

Im actually getting a bit worried about myself. The only people that tip me behind the bar are fucking fellers. I had some homo lad coming on to me last night when i was serving him, he started sucking his fuckin finger in that way that birds do on television X or something. I fucking shit meself. Not a good sign. I think another trip to magaluf is in order!

[Unrighteous]

I see this as the beginning of a formidable team, my good man.

 

You just need to scout a good location down south. However, if I go to London I'll be forced to stay at some birds place... as I've a few down that way.

 

(I might require the use of your floor... or your roommate, however it goes)

[Unrighteous]

Im actually getting a bit worried about myself. The only people that tip me behind the bar are fucking fellers. I had some homo lad coming on to me last night when i was serving him, he started sucking his fuckin finger in that way that birds do on television X or something. I fucking shit meself. Not a good sign. I think another trip to magaluf is in order!

 

Back when I was a boucer... I had loads of gay fellas trying to get it on with me. Ridiculous, it was... some of the shit that they would say.

 

However, the vancouver gayers are quite fucking aggressive.

[Unrighteous]

Your 'loon' roommate is still a fucking cutie and I live three hours away from her. So, it's win/win really.

 

Unfortunately, that would make another bird who will get angry if I don't give her a shag whilst in london...

 

 

I ONLY HAVE SO MANY NIGHTS IN A WEEKEND!

 

edit: I also recall that she fellated you. However, I followed your footsteps once before... and now giggle that DT followed mine.

 

(did he at least use protection with her? I didn't have any)

[Unrighteous]

Ugh... I mean... I'm a nice guy, virgin. What's your sisters number again, Chris? She was cute.

[Unrighteous]

Dude, how do you know the roomie fellated me? Did I tell you that shit?

 

Yup. I remember you showing me her pic off facebook and I was like, "I'd hit that."

 

ps Ive got some new pics from that bird from Lancaster... I forgot to show you. Yay for fun with mobile phones.

[Randy Marsh]

Right im off for a wank and a kip, buenos noches!

[Unrighteous]

Indeed indeed... I was surprised my taken girl let me finger her in the fucking bar being taken and all that. What a whore.

[Unrighteous]

Who's the lancaster chick?

 

The bird who sent me pics of herself starkers on the fur rug that I showed you that night...

 

and I've got some naughties from one of my birds in vancouver but they are on my comp.

[Unrighteous]

Right im off for a wank and a kip, buenos noches!

 

Enjoy the wank, wanker.

[Unrighteous]

Whores rule

 

Yeah, it's surprising that we didn't find one outside the maccys. Liverpool is lousy with them.

[Unrighteous]

Night mate... I've got an epi of Curb your Enthusiasm to watch.

[Kopite]

Don't be soft Chris, that is pathetic and not worthy of someone of your intelligence.

People are nice to and about Liz because she is a thoroughly decent human being, she takes the time out to be interested in people and their welfare. People warm to her because of those factors. I have no idea what she looks like and I've never spoken to her off site and the first time I spoke to her off forum was 2 weeks ago when she messaged me to ask how my Dad was after his operation.

You get in rucks with people and people have a pop at you because you are deliberately abrasive...thats the simple truth. You have had rows with numerous people and it always seems to be everybody elses fault to listen to you.

 

I do, she's a total babe.

[Kopite]

Talking of Jeremy Beadle hands I remember my first year at Poly. There were these Welsh lads who also stayed in the halls, who were total party animals. Anyway they met these girls from a college in town (St. Cath's?) and go back to their digs for a bit of "slap and tickle".

 

One of the lads gets a big "jiggy" with this girl and goes to grab her hand. To his horror he finds it isn't there.

 

Unlike Sir Roger's mate, he isn't dignified and doesn't do the deed instead preferring the "argh, where's your f*cking hand?" and exiting her room faster than Vanessa Feltz at Weight Watchers.

[rargh]

Ah, the third mate scenario. A woman who isn't gonna get any while her mates are will always spoil the party. I can guaran-damn-tee, boyfriend or not, if there were three of you out last night, all three of you would have ended up washing their hair in mantene.

 

I fucking hate women who do that. It's an unwrittren rule for fellas that if you're the gooseberry, you switch to wingman mode to sell your mate to the one he's chatting up and then geg out at the appropriate opportunity.

[Section_31]

Ah, the third mate scenario. A woman who isn't gonna get any while her mates are will always spoil the party. I can guaran-damn-tee, boyfriend or not, if there were three of you out last night, all three of you would have ended up washing their hair in mantene.

 

I fucking hate women who do that. It's an unwrittren rule for fellas that if you're the gooseberry, you switch to wingman mode to sell your mate to the one he's chatting up and then geg out at the appropriate opportunity.

 

Amen, the amount of times I've bagged off with top totty and she's been literally dragged away by her butch mate you wouldn't believe.

It's partly mates' faults though for not taking one from the team.

 

In warrington a while back I had this tasty little number totally ripe, had my hands all over her pulling her against my groin and all sorts, she'd given me her unconditional surrender.

But her mate - who wasn't that bad to be fair - kept trying to talk to my mate, and everytimes she did he'd just go to her face "YOU TRIPPIN FOR REAL!!!!"

She'd try again and he'd go "WHY YOU TRIPPIN N*GGER?!?!"

 

She'd ask me what was wrong and I'd just say 'he's a teacher and has had a stressful week' It all went tits up though and my poon was dragged off for a taxi giving me puppy eyes.

In hindsight I should have manned up and thrown her over my shoulder.

[manwiththestick]

A few years back me and about five of the lads where staying at a caravan park in Towyn for the weekend, after a whole day on the ale we stumbled into some shitty club. because we'd been on the pop all day it felt like about 10 o'clock but in fact was only about half seven so we goes into this "club" and there is no fucker in there but us. annyway me and one of my mates where at the bar when these to girls walk in and stand next to us at the bar. Being the friendly guy i am i start chatting to these girls and turns out they are from Warrington and are staying at the same placed as us.

Now fast forward, i kid you not, 10 Minutes and me and my mate are in our caravan after getting a joey back, banging these two little sluts for all their worth. A bit later on we are sat down having a few beers and all the lads turn up pissed so me and this bird go back for a bit of seconds. Next thing, the other girl is knocking on the bedroom door shouting all pissed to her mate that its half eleven and they had better get back to her mum and dads caravan as they are already in trouble for being late.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

A few years ago, I was visiting a mate in Cambridge. I went off to a party somewhere with some of his mates and copped off with some lass who may have been stunning or fugly - she was too blurry for me to say with any certainty. In any case, she had a job to go to, so she quite nicely let me have a lie-in in the morning. She also phoned up at about 11.00 to remind me of the name of the pub where I'd agreed to meet my mates the next day, to watch the match. Her housemates made me tea and toast and gave me directions.

 

So far, so good.

 

Unfortunately, it was about an hour's walk to the pub - and when I got there we were already trailing to the Mancs, thanks to two Carra own-goals.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Now fast forward, i kid you not, 10 Minutes and me and my mate are in our caravan after getting a joey back, banging these two little sluts for all their worth. A bit later on we are sat down having a few beers and all the lads turn up pissed so me and this bird go back for a bit of seconds. Next thing, the other girl is knocking on the bedroom door shouting all pissed to her mate that its half eleven and they had better get back to her mum and dads caravan as they are already in trouble for being late.

PAE-AE-AE-D-O-O-O!!!!

[Thants]

I had nookie with a girl once, it was skill.

[Unrighteous]

I had nookie with a girl once, it was skill.

 

Quality.

[Malarkey]

And Dude, Sarah Jane fucks less than a nun, seriously. But ruth is fuck tastic. I've played "I have never" before and was roundly defeated. Boyfriend though, and a greart fucking guy at that

 

I now a Sarah Jane who is 17. What's her last name? I've been there also, Chris. ;)