Premier League Round Up (Mar 3-5 2018)

[tlw content]

Burnley had never come from behind to win a Premier League game under Sean Dyche. Enter Everton. This was funny as fuck. Burnley games never have more than two goals in them so when Everton had the lead at half time it looked like they’d get a point at least. 
 
Instead Burnley came firing back in the second half and goals from Barnes and Wood gave them the win. Pickford made a load of saves but he was fucking terrible on both goals. He gets away with murder him. Makes a few saves and he’s the golden boy of goalkeeping, but look at the goals he lets in. 
 
Fucking hell, our keepers get murdered for far less than that, and rightly so because they play for us and are judged to a higher standard. The point is though, Pickford seems bulletproof and his reputation doesn’t seem to be harmed no matter how many terrible goals he concedes. The Blues were chanting “England’s number one” at him, and it couldn’t have been ironic because they aren’t smart enough to do irony. 
 
To compound Everton’s misery, Ashley Williams was sent off for swinging an arm. Bit harsh I thought, although he is such a bad snide cunt he probably deserved it anyway. Horrible bastard him. 
 
Ashley Barnes is as Burnley as it gets. Their club crest should just be a picture of his face. Let’s face it, anything would be better than the weird thing they have now, that looks like it was designed on a ZX Spectrum. 
 
The travelling Blues let Big Sam have it afterwards, chanting “Fuck off Sam Allardyce” and “you’re just a fat greedy bastard”. Bit harsh like, those wins he got when he first arrived are probably the only thing that will keep them up, the ungrateful bastards. 
 
Tell you what though, when you look at their fixtures the next two games are fucking massive. Brighton at home and then a trip to Stoke. If they were to lose both or maybe just pick up one point, they’re in real trouble because after that it’s City and us. 
 
Fair play to Theo Walcott, who somehow managed to leap out of the frying pan and into a fucking erupting volcano. 

 

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[Pudns]

Fucking brilliant report.

[sir roger]

Kindling , Dave. Wenger isn't that easy to read.

 

Love these reports , can't believe there isn't an outlet that wouldn't prefer ( obviously a slightly toned down version ) these to the absolute beige the papers and radio / tv out out.

[deiseach]

Love these reports , can't believe there isn't an outlet that wouldn't prefer ( obviously a slightly toned down version ) these to the absolute beige the papers and radio / tv out out.

 

I'm still hoping beyond hope that Dave has a copy of his report of the Gary Mac derby knocking around somewhere - both the fanzine version, where he stormed out of the house in a rage when Give It Unsy equalised from a dodgy penalty only to come charging back in upon hearing a roar from the house that could only have been evidence of a Liverpool goal, and the sanitised version that he got a few shekels for on the offal. Good times.

[Spy Bee]

Is there a link for this anywhere? I don't remember it.

[dylstar]

Chelsea players being prepared for Palaces visit on Saturday by Conte ...... https://t.co/CsjfRr8KGY

[an tha]

"England's number 1" so the bitters do realise he is shite then....ala our "Hodgson for England" chants...

 

Oh hang on this is Everton we are talking about.

[Vincent Vega]

West Ham to go down ahead of Newcastle surely? Free stadium, dildo selling, cockney knees up, Tory supporting, jellied eel, pie and mash twats.

[Razoray]

"The arse has fallen out of them completely (they should probably just call themselves ‘Nal’ now)" is fucking quality

[StevieMax]

West Ham to go down ahead of Newcastle surely? Free stadium, dildo selling, cockney knees up, Tory supporting, jellied eel, pie and mash twats.

I think this week's pitch invasions will sway those that were still unsure :-)