World Darts Championship

[Guest]

Barry Hearn says... 

 

"On a slightly more serious note, this is a top-level competition involving highly skilled sportsmen - so we have no intention of renaming the event the 'Grand Slam of Farts' as some have suggested. 

 

"These are elite players and we feel that would be inappropriate." 

[Guest]

Van Gerwen off to a good start after having beer thrown on his shirt. 

[Captain Turdseye]

Someone swilled a beer over MVG before his walk out. He had to go backstage and change his shirt and when he came out he looked like he’d been crying. 

 

Has the hate for him gone too far?

[Captain Turdseye]

Just now, Shooter in the Motor said:

Van Gerwen off to a good start after having beer thrown on his shirt. 

 

He settled down but it was an awful start by his standards. Couldn’t even hit a treble. All changed with the 100+ checkout in the first leg of course. 

[Elite]

43 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

 

He settled down but it was an awful start by his standards. Couldn’t even hit a treble. All changed with the 100+ checkout in the first leg of course. 

I think he'd been drinking, he stunk of booze.

[Captain Turdseye]

Loads of close games in the early rounds. Wright and Barney both out already. James Wade isn’t having it all his own way against this Japanese kid at the moment either. 

[Captain Turdseye]

Wade scrapes through. Just seen that Whitlock got dumped out earlier as well. 

[Bjornebye]

23 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Wade scrapes through. Just seen that Whitlock got dumped out earlier as well. 

Whats this about Wade being a cunt? I know he is one anyway but twitter is pissed right off at him 

[Captain Turdseye]

15 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Whats this about Wade being a cunt? I know he is one anyway but twitter is pissed right off at him 

 

There was no malice in the game at all but when Wade levelled at 1-1 he got in the other lads face for no reason and gave it a “RAARRRGGH” trying to intimidate him. 

 

He’ll be out as soon as he faces someone good anyway. 

[Bobby Hundreds]

I hate James wade. His wife sammi marsh is fuckable beyond belief. I don't want to objectify her but I must.

[Elite]

Very peculiar character is Wade. 

 

The two best female darts players went out in the first round to lesser players I noticed, did they qualify for the tournament or just get allowed in? If they qualified fair enough but if they just got a free pass to enter, I don't agree with that.

[skend04]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/darts/46628194

 

Glad Mardle has called him out. Wade just comes across as a massive cunt. "Did it for the UK". It's darts you fat flaky cunt.

[Captain Turdseye]

2 hours ago, Elite said:

Very peculiar character is Wade. 

 

The two best female darts players went out in the first round to lesser players I noticed, did they qualify for the tournament or just get allowed in? If they qualified fair enough but if they just got a free pass to enter, I don't agree with that.

 

 

 

She just couldn’t keep it up. We’ve all been there. 

[VladimirIlyich]

On 11/17/2018 at 6:22 PM, Shooter in the Motor said:

Some athletes blame poor performances on the state of the pitch. Others blame it on tactics, or perhaps just a bad day at the office.

 

But blaming your opponent for farting is definitely a new one.

 

Yet that's exactly what happened at the Grand Slam of Darts in Wolverhampton, with both Gary Anderson and Wesley Harms denying responsibility for the "rotten egg smells".

 

Two-time world champion Anderson, 47, won Thursday's match 10-2 to progress to the quarter-finals, but Dutchman Harms, 34, was quick to explain his sub-standard performance by accusing his Scottish opponent of leaving a "fragrant smell".

 

He told Dutch TV station RTL7L: "It'll take me two nights to lose this smell from my nose."

 

World number four Anderson was not best pleased by the accusation, saying the smell had definitely come "from the table side" at the Aldersley Leisure Village.

 

"If the boy thinks I've farted he's 1,010% wrong. I swear on my children's lives that it was not my fault," he said.

 

"I had a bad stomach once on stage before and admitted it. So I'm not going to lie about farting on stage.

 

"Every time I walked past there was a waft of rotten eggs so that's why I was thinking it was him.

 

"It was bad. It was a stink, then he started to play better and I thought he must have needed to get some wind out.

 

"If somebody has done that they need to see a doctor. Seemingly he says it was me but I would admit it."

No smart fellers but two fart smellers.

[Elite]

Has Taylor not done any of the punditry for Sky? Or do they think he's a cunt as well?

[Captain Turdseye]

6 minutes ago, Elite said:

Has Taylor not done any of the punditry for Sky? Or do they think he's a cunt as well?

 

Not watched a great deal of it but I haven’t seen Bristow yet either. Maybe they’re saving the big guns for the later rounds. 

[Elite]

3 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

 

Not watched a great deal of it but I haven’t seen Bristow yet either. Maybe they’re saving the big guns for the later rounds. 

Bristow is finished after his controversial comments, Taylor just appears to be a twat who everyone hates but they need some reinforcements.

[Captain Turdseye]

Just now, Elite said:

Bristow is finished after his controversial comments, Taylor just appears to be a twat who everyone hates but they need some reinforcements.

 

What did Bristow say? I can’t be arsed opening another tab and Googling it. 

[Elite]

He basically called those footballers that were abused by their coaches years ago 'Wimps' and they need to 'Man up'.

 

To be fair his mentor used to shove darts up his arse when he was learning his trade 

[Bobby Hundreds]

Laura woods is simply smashing.

[Guest]

24 minutes ago, Elite said:

Bristow is finished after his controversial comments, Taylor just appears to be a twat who everyone hates but they need some reinforcements.

I would imagine that unless Sky have found a way of people commentating from beyond the grave that Bristow was finished the day he passed away. 

[Elite]

4 minutes ago, Shooter in the Motor said:

I would imagine that unless Sky have found a way of people commentating from beyond the grave that Bristow was finished the day he passed away. 

Oh yeah, forgot he was dead. 

[Bjornebye]

55 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

 

Not watched a great deal of it but I haven’t seen Bristow yet either. Maybe they’re saving the big guns for the later rounds. 

I'd fucking shit myself if Bristow was on 

[Elite]

14 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

I'd fucking shit myself if Bristow was on 

Well they are letting women play, so it should be fair game for ghosts as well.

[Bjornebye]

I bet you Phil Taylor is watching this in a caravan in North Wales with a can of ansells bitter balanced on his belly telling his bird he is better than all of them everytime someone gets a 180