Meeting new people - some serious shit please...

[Bob]

Right then, I need to make me some friends. Got painfully few anywhere near me and while I'm about to glibly say 'my wife's had enough and wants out' I mean it.

 

I've basically prioritised work over everything for so long that while it's finally paid off and I've got the house I want and a pretty nice wage, my life has gone to fucking ruin as a result wile I've not been paying attention.

 

I've got 6 months, maybe less to sort my shit out and get her back into wanting to be around me and it starts with making some new friends.

 

So, how is it done?

 

I'm the kind of bloke that gets on with almost anyone, but doesn't instigate anything. I'm a bloke people don't mind being around but only a few will go out of their way to do it by choice.

 

I've just dropped some emails to a local squash club and a badminton club, but I'm shot at both those things and fear I'll not fit in, so how do people do it?

 

What can I try?

 

I'm reaching out to the good folk if TLW and however wisely the GF to give me a shove in the right direction and maybe save my marriage and with it put my life back on track.

 

Oh, I'm also keen to keep it away from f*****ll as I need more in my life than footy and work.

 

Cheers in advance.

[littletedwest]

You sound a bit like officer crabtree from ello ello so that could help.

 

But seriously. Gym maybe. Try going to your local with the Mrs possibly.Take her away for the weekend.

[Champ]

If you dont mind me asking, why, if you're saying your missus has had enough,  are you asking for ideas for spending even more time apart from each other?

 

Or am I missing something?

[J-V]

Take up hobbies as you're trying to do.  Hit the gym you meet people from all walks of life there plus you get fit in the process.

 

There is a website that will list loads of hobby groups in your area.  Can't remember the web address though.

[aws]

What,if any, interests do you actually share with her?

[Jairzinho]

Go to a load of free classes. I've met quite a lot of women, sorry, and friends, doing stuff like Creative Writing courses etc. You're largely all in the same boat. So the dynamic is good, its not a case of only you having to join a group of people that are already mates.

 

Do you live in a city/town/village? Actually, doesn't really matter. Get involved with some sort of community/voluntary project. There must be something that you care sufficiently about to give up a few hours a week to help with.

[Bob]

If you dont mind me asking, why, if you're saying your missus has had enough, are you asking for ideas for spending even more time apart from each other?

 

Or am I missing something?

Basically she's had enough of me having nothing about me other than work and football. I think as much as anything she is bored by me and I think getting some variety in my life and showing that I can go out and do stuff would benefit. Maybe I'm wrong but her attitude towards me at the moment makes being with her so difficult and its a endless cycle.

 

I'm ducked if I know to be honest, I'm in fucking bits.

 

I'm also not thinking of fucking off out every night and never seeing her, just something that's a bit of variety.

 

Doesn't help we've a nearly 2 year old daughter , no family around and not knowing anyone well enough to babysit, so us out together only happens when our parent come up here really, every now and then.

[Liverpool lad]

Have you tried TSOP?

[Bob]

What,if any, interests do you actually share with her?

Shared interests with her is outdoor walking, comedy clubs, and live music, but it's really hard to make that work with the baby and lack of sitters etc.

 

You know what, actually typing that out has annoyed me. We can pay for babysitters so I'm gonna find some of those things for us to do.

[Dougie Do'ins]

Have you tried TSOP?

He said friends, not fiends.

[mattyq]

My brother's recently moved to Plymouth not knowing anybody and he's joined some sort of walking club.

Says it's pretty good - lots of new faces and they go to nice places and do some good walking

[Jennings]

This is what the GF is for. Solving problems such as these is bread and butter to the good folk of the GF.

Mark my words, this will be a legendary thread.

[Champ]

Do you have any kind of childcare? If you dont, get some. As well as these new friends/interests, however frightening it might sound if you both want to save this thing you need to be spending time together on a regular basis. What was it that brought you together in the first place?

[Jennings]

Right then, I need to make me some friends. Got painfully few anywhere near me and while I'm about to glibly say 'my wife's had enough and wants out' I mean it.

 

I've basically prioritised work over everything for so long that while it's finally paid off and I've got the house I want and a pretty nice wage, my life has gone to fucking ruin as a result wile I've not been paying attention.

 

I've got 6 months, maybe less to sort my shit out and get her back into wanting to be around me and it starts with making some new friends.

 

So, how is it done?

 

I'm the kind of bloke that gets on with almost anyone, but doesn't instigate anything. I'm a bloke people don't mind being around but only a few will go out of their way to do it by choice.

 

I've just dropped some emails to a local squash club and a badminton club, but I'm shot at both those things and fear I'll not fit in, so how do people do it?

 

What can I try?

 

I'm reaching out to the good folk if TLW and however wisely the GF to give me a shove in the right direction and maybe save my marriage and with it put my life back on track.

 

Oh, I'm also keen to keep it away from f*****ll as I need more in my life than footy and work.

 

Cheers in advance.

 

Why badminton ffs...those people are clearly out of your league!!

 

Where are you from. I'm in Ellesmere Port. I could be your friend and I would hardly ever insist on feeling your muscles or having you squat me.

[Sugar Ape]

You're in Leeds aren't you Bob? Go on a night out with Tom Ross and his linen suit.

 

Also, what about work colleagues? Any of them you get on with, just ask them if they want to go for a bevy after work on a Friday.

[aws]

Shared interests with her is outdoor walking, comedy clubs, and live music, but it's really hard to make that work with the baby and lack of sitters etc.

You know what, actually typing that out has annoyed me. We can pay for babysitters so I'm gonna find some of those things for us to do.

Sounds like you both need a bit of a break and get out and enjoy things you both like. Maybe both join local clubs if you want to make new friends.

[ZonkoVille77]

I think the fact you have a young child is the biggest thing so maybe get out together in the afternoon more often if you can. Look up any old houses with big gardens, a zoo or a drive somewhere quiet and get to know one another again. When you do manage to get a sitter get out and do all those things you've mentioned plus buy her something nice that has meaning to you both - a framed pic of a nice holiday you had or something like that. hope it all works out

[dickie mint]

Why badminton ffs...those people are clearly out of your league!!

 

Where are you from. I'm in Ellesmere Port. I could be your friend and I would hardly ever insist on feeling your muscles or having you squat me.

ha ha.

He's miserable enough without you suggesting Ellsmere Port mate.

[Jennings]

Take her on a date. An old fashioned date...not to the flicks where you can't talk, but somewhere swanky where you can talk ...and not serious stuff...make her laugh.

[Liverpool lad]

Join us a TSOP day out. The banter doesn't stop

[Champ]

Counselling

[Champ]

Take her on a date. An old fashioned date...not to the flicks where you can't talk, but somewhere swanky where you can talk ...and not serious stuff...make her laugh.

 

Make that a dirty afternoon. Then make another one

[Bob]

All great advice - apart from Ellesmere Port, I remember it smelling funny - so cheers.

 

My heads in no place to go on with this tonight, but I'll revisit your words.

 

Why can't life just be a but fucking easier?

[Jennings]

Fuck...I have read this thread all wrong. i didn't realise a serious cry for help would be made on the GF.

 

*starts racking brain on dealing with women*

 

*nope nothing.*

 

*leaves thread*

[Anny Road]

Dogging. Kill two birds and all that.