little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Preston Red]

Costco usually have an offer on that

 

Edit my mate has confirmed they are doing it for £30 at the moment

If I can get down there and grab a bottle of God's Nectar at that price, you are my hero Remmie. Cheers man

[Remmie]

If I can get down there and grab a bottle of God's Nectar at that price, you are my hero Remmie. Cheers man

You need membership or a mate with membership. Apparently gentleman jack is £23

[Dr Nowt]

Come now Liz, being known as one of the most notorious bearded serial killers in British history a minor achievement? Don't sell yourself short.

It was actually for going two's on a corpse with Savile, but now you come to mention it my ball-peen hammer work was nearly as smooth as my beard. Nearly.

[RoboRiise]

He may be going to fuck you over with a health and safety complaint when he gets a cold.

 

We have a secretary who, despite the office being centrally heated, will sit with her coat on and one of those dodgy Chinese-import portable heaters, that they sell in pound shops, on her desk.

 

I'd prefer that.  Pretty much any kind of action, I'd be all 'come at me bro' on his ass.  This attempt at guilt tripping me though, it does not impress me.

 

 

People who use the cash machine twice. Fuck off

 

I swear this is true, last week I was behind some daft cow in the queue who managed four separate card insertions.  If she'd have put it in a fifth time I was going to inform her of an alternative and considerably more personal location she may wish to consider.

[General Dryness]

 

I'd prefer that.  Pretty much any kind of action, I'd be all 'come at me bro' on his ass.  This attempt at guilt tripping me though, it does not impress me.

 

 

 

I swear this is true, last week I was behind some daft cow in the queue who managed four separate card insertions.  If she'd have put it in a fifth time I was going to inform her of an alternative and considerably more personal location she may wish to consider.

 

You should have offered her four separate insertions.

 

Its a rare skirt that can take the thumb as well.

[Dr Nowt]

Been impossible to read the last two posts on insertion in anything but Galloway's voice.

 

Assuming she didn't ask prior to each?

[VladimirIlyich]

Old men that stink of piss, mumble and spend all day in Whetherspoons keep their change in money bags.

I really like Stringvest,hes an excellent poster.

[Preston Red]

You need membership or a mate with membership. Apparently gentleman jack is £23

I'll have a dig around to see who has one. I've got 4 bottles of GJ last week, £24 in the ASDA. Can't wait to get that opened over crimbo.

[Champ]

Is there anything more dismal and depressing than office Christmas decorations?

[General Dryness]

Is there anything more dismal and depressing than office Christmas decorations?

 

Yep, its akin to spray-painting a turd gold and rolling it in glitter.

 

Its still a fucking turd.

[Champ]

Yep, its akin to spray-painting a turd gold and rolling it in glitter.

 

 

And then wrapping a bit of tinsel round it, only there's not quite enough to do the job properly

[General Dryness]

And then wrapping a bit of tinsel round it, only there's not quite enough to do the job properly

 

And the tinsel is about 70 years old, and its got bits of old sellotape stuck to it where its been attached to various locations over the years.

[Champ]

And the tinsel is about 70 years old, and its got bits of old sellotape stuck to it where its been attached to various locations over the years.

 

Where are you hiding?

[General Dryness]

Where are you hiding?

 

I's in your storecupboard. Looking at your tinselz.

 

Seriously though, tinsel is always the same unless its brand new.

[Champ]

I's in your storecupboard. Looking at your tinselz.

 

Seriously though, tinsel is always the same unless its brand new.

 

What kind of a word is 'tinsel' anyway?

[Hand Shandy]

A noun?

[Champ]

A noun?

Indeed but what is its derivation? Its one of those words that just seems odd if you look at it long enough

[Hand Shandy]

It's actually late Middle English, denoting fabric either interwoven with metallic thread or spangled.

 

Going further back, that was taken from the Old French estincele ‘spark’, or estinceler ‘to sparkle’, which of course was based on Latin scintilla - ‘a spark’.

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

It's actually late Middle English, denoting fabric either interwoven with metallic thread or spangled.

 

Going further back, that was taken from the Old French estincele ‘spark’, or estinceler ‘to sparkle’, which of course was based on Latin scintilla - ‘a spark’.

 

Smartarse

 

EDIT: I'm out of rep so in case its not clear, i'm joking

[Champ]

It's actually late Middle English, denoting fabric either interwoven with metallic thread or spangled.

 

Going further back, that was taken from the Old French estincele ‘spark’, or estinceler ‘to sparkle’, which of course was based on Latin scintilla - ‘a spark’.

It bloody is as well

[Hand Shandy]

*considers confessing to Googling it and then rewriting it into a proper sentence*

 

*decides against it*

 

Why thank you - I am a genius...

[Trumo]

Is there anything more dismal and depressing than office Christmas decorations?

 

People who get excited about putting them up. It's usually some cunt who for the rest of the year cannot be arsed to do anything, but thinks they're some master of delegation and supervision when it's time for that box of tat to go up. The sort of cunt who will complain to the manager and HR because their chair is slightly wobbly as poses 'a risk to health and safety' yet sees no problem in getting somebody else to stand on a chair or desk in between piles of paperwork and computer equipment to stick a bit of bedraggled tinsel on the ceiling. Actually, this rant probably belongs in the 'Instant Cunt Identifiers' thread.

[stringvest]

"Should have gone to Specsavers".  Well guess what, I did.  And I ended up with a really shit pair of reading glasses.  One of the nose bits has fallen off.  After 3 months.    

[bouncebrigade]

Is stringy really 77?

 

Not a bit old to be hanging around internet chat rooms?

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Is stringy really 77?

 

Not a bit old to be hanging around internet chat rooms?

 

You're never too old to be catfished