The Official Cricket Thread

[Trumo]

36 minutes ago, Jairzinho said:

Starc has taken Root's cock clean off.

 

Root now running between the wickets like he's just been bummed by a horse.

 

Should have worn a Harrod's soap holder.

[sir roger]

Remember a story from the era of steel boxes about Fred Trueman hitting a Lancashire batsman right in the gronckers and shouting ' one o'clock and all's well'.

[A_S]

Hmmm. 

[Jairzinho]

Best part of 50 overs to go.

 

Shown a bit of fight at least though. 

[Captain Turdseye]

Really disappointed with the England team in this test. I had a tenner on them being bowled out for less than 100 in either innings. 

[Mudface]

God, Buttler's boring. Play some shots, you barnacle.

[Jairzinho]

[Jairzinho]

Broad is such a coward.

[Preston Red]

Ah well, that's the end of this series as a competition.

[Jairzinho]

Thorpe and Collingwood are already there, I'd play them in the next game. Cook and Prior can get out of the BT studio and fly over for the next game as well.

 

 

[Tj hooker]

4 or 5 nil in this series we may scrape a draw in one of them but I'm not holding my breath 

[Captain Howdy]

6 minutes ago, Preston Red said:

Ah well, that's the end of this series as a competition.

As a competition it never started.

[Jairzinho]

In the combined 12 innings of Hameed, Burns and Pope they've scored 157 runs.

 

 

[Trumo]

2 hours ago, Mudface said:

God, Buttler's boring. Play some shots, you barnacle.

 

It might be boring but it's what the batsmen really need to be doing. You don't necessarily have to score a lot of runs (though that helps!), just occupy the crease, rotate the strike, see off the new ball and dig in to make the Aussies toil a little bit. Right now, the drinks breaks are longer than the openers' time at the crease.

[Mudface]

1 minute ago, Trumo said:

 

It might be boring but it's what the batsmen really need to be doing. You don't necessarily have to score a lot of runs (though that helps!), just occupy the crease, rotate the strike, see off the new ball and dig in to make the Aussies toil a little bit. Right now, the drinks breaks are longer than the openers' time at the crease.

I know, I was just being sarcy.

[Jairzinho]

At least we have other world class options like Crawley, Lawrence and Bairstow to bolster the batting.

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

5 minutes ago, Jairzinho said:

At least we have other world class options like Crawley, Lawrence and Bairstow to bolster the batting.

Be better off with John Crawley , Lawrence of Arabia and a Doorstop.

[Jairzinho]

47 minutes ago, VERBAL DIARRHEA said:

Be better off with John Crawley , Lawrence of Arabia and a Doorstop.

John Crawley, who faced Akram, Younis, McGrath, etc, etc, and was seen as a failed England player, averaged 35.

 

Burns 31. Buttler 33. Bairstow 34. Hameed 30. Malan 31. Pope 30. Lawrence 27. Zak Crawley 28.

 

He'd be one of our best players. Possibly even now at 50.

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

3 minutes ago, Jairzinho said:

John Crawley, who faced Akram, Younis, McGrath, etc, etc, and was seen as a failed England player, averaged 35.

 

Burns 31. Buttler 33. Bairstow 34. Hameed 30. Malan 31. Pope 30. Lawrence 27. Zak Crawley 28.

 

He'd be one of our best players. Possibly even now at 50.

Yeah sadly, I like Malen though at least he has bottle unlike most if not all the others. Going to be a hard few years unless we find some test batsmen.

[Jairzinho]

5 minutes ago, VERBAL DIARRHEA said:

Yeah sadly, I like Malen though at least he has bottle unlike most if not all the others. Going to be a hard few years unless we find some test batsmen.

Yeah, I do as well. He at least looks like a proper test batsman. 

 

I don't see the situation changing. Money has made that cunt show "The Hundred" more important than an Ashes series.

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

10 minutes ago, Jairzinho said:

Yeah, I do as well. He at least looks like a proper test batsman. 

 

I don't see the situation changing. Money has made that cunt show "The Hundred" more important than an Ashes series.

That ‘ hundred ‘ was awful truly awful won’t watch another second of it.

[Preston Red]

10 hours ago, Captain Howdy said:

As a competition it never started.

This is very true.

 

Looks like we're back to the bad days of the mid 90's when we couldn't lay a glove on them.

[Mudface]

10 minutes ago, Preston Red said:

This is very true.

 

Looks like we're back to the bad days of the mid 90's when we couldn't lay a glove on them.

I was just reading this depressing piece- https://www.theguardian.com/sport/blog/2021/dec/20/an-ashes-whitewash-looked-far-fetched-two-weeks-ago-but-england-are-in-mess-australia-cricket

 

Up until the turn of the century there had only been one Ashes whitewash in 130 years, and even the most powerful pessimists could hardly worry about how Jack Gregory and Ted McDonald tore through England back in 1921. Things have changed in the last 21 years of Ashes series in Australia. England won three Tests by an innings in 2010-11, but that now looks like a lonely rookery surrounded by the 5-0 before it, the 5-0 after it, and a 4-0 that would have been 5-0 if not for a Melbourne pitch where bowlers could only have made the ball talk through a ouija board.

...

It isn’t Australian triumphalism or English despair that sees the next three Tests going one way. Outside of that lonely series win a decade ago, England’s win-loss scoreline in Australia for the last 35 years stands at 3-29, which coincidentally is often the local format of the score when they are batting. That is England’s history, but England’s present should be more than enough to worry the current team.

 

We've been ridiculously shit down under for donkey's years.

[Captain Howdy]

11 hours ago, Jairzinho said:

In the combined 12 innings of Hameed, Burns and Pope they've scored 157 runs.

 

 

[lifetime fan]

Bumble been given the chance to retire from sky  instead of being sacked.