Exagerated Scouse Disorder (ESD)

[Faustus]

Hearing a Birkenhead lad saying he hated scousers - despite having the thickest ESD I've probably ever heard - was quite surreal.

 

My mate's a Tranmere fan and I remember going to a match with him once. All these bell ends started singing "we hate Scousers" and then followed it up with a chant of "Ronnie Moore's barmy army." I was just sat there thinking 'half your fucking team is Scouse, you stupid cunts.'

[Malarkey]

Some Cockney lad we met on holiday said that there were a group of scousers in the hotel we were in. He introduced us and it turned out he had the worst case of ESD imaginable. Heres how the conversation went.

 

Malarkey: Alright lad, you're from Liverpool aren't you?

Tosser: (After hearing my accent) Err no lad just a town outside Liverpool you know.

Malarkey: Where?

Tosser: Errr St Helens you know mate.

 

His accent changed as soon as he heard mine. It was an experience which led to him being nicknamed Scouse all through our weeks stay there. Happy days.

[Section_31]

Some Cockney lad we met on holiday said that there were a group of scousers in the hotel we were in. He introduced us and it turned out he had the worst case of ESD imaginable. Heres how the conversation went.

 

Malarkey: Alright lad, you're from Liverpool aren't you?

Tosser: (After hearing my accent) Err no lad just a town outside Liverpool you know.

Malarkey: Where?

Tosser: Errr St Helens you know mate.

 

His accent changed as soon as he heard mine. It was an experience which led to him being nicknamed Scouse all through our weeks stay there. Happy days.

 

It's fucking strange.

 

I got into an arguement in a bar in Warrington once because some baghead pushed in front of me at the bar. He goes "Where you from anyway, fucking Runcorn?" and I said "Speke" at which point - I shit you not - he shook my hand and apologised.

 

Baffling shit.

[WaltonRed]

It's fucking strange.

 

I got into an arguement in a bar in Warrington once because some baghead pushed in front of me at the bar. He goes "Where you from anyway, fucking Runcorn?" and I said "Speke" at which point - I shit you not - he shook my hand and apologised.

 

Baffling shit.

 

I dont know how many times I've had that happen to me.

 

I've got long hair, i'm 6ft 3" I stand out for whoppers to usually say something and due the places I go they usually presume I'm a stduent from out of town.

 

In the Crack a couple of months ago a blue who'd just got back off their away game and was off his head on coke started the big I am until he found out I was from County Road and couldnt of been nicer.

 

Same at Leeds festvial a couple of years back, this fella in his thirties started taking the piss as soon as he knew the same fact he was nice as pie.

 

Its fucking weird.

[Faustus]

I dont know how many times I've had that happen to me.

 

I've got long hair, i'm 6ft 3" I stand out for whoppers to usually say something and due the places I go they usually presume I'm a stduent from out of town.

 

In the Crack a couple of months ago a blue who'd just got back off their away game and was off his head on coke started the big I am until he found out I was from County Road and couldnt of been nicer.

 

Same at Leeds festvial a couple of years back, this fella in his thirties started taking the piss as soon as he knew the same fact he was nice as pie.

 

Its fucking weird.

 

"It's cuz you've gorra look afda yer own, innit liiiiiiid."

[Section_31]

I dont know how many times I've had that happen to me.

 

I've got long hair, i'm 6ft 3" I stand out for whoppers to usually say something and due the places I go they usually presume I'm a stduent from out of town.

 

In the Crack a couple of months ago a blue who'd just got back off their away game and was off his head on coke started the big I am until he found out I was from County Road and couldnt of been nicer.

 

Same at Leeds festvial a couple of years back, this fella in his thirties started taking the piss as soon as he knew the same fact he was nice as pie.

 

Its fucking weird.

 

It must take some doing getting shit for your appearance at the Leeds Festival, the place looks like Jabba's Palace.

[Guest The Chimp]

It's a bit weird being over here - in a nice way - as the Australians I've met all seem to love the accent (but all think I'm either Scots or Irish). It makes a big change to seeing people actually like the way you talk as opposed to the generally negative response I got when I was away from Liverpool back home - uni being a prime example.

[Guest The Chimp]

It's fucking strange.

 

I got into an arguement in a bar in Warrington once because some baghead pushed in front of me at the bar. He goes "Where you from anyway, fucking Runcorn?" and I said "Speke" at which point - I shit you not - he shook my hand and apologised.

 

Baffling shit.

 

There are a few Speke lads running a few things in that part of the world nowdays though Mark - must've thought you were some snarler brought in from the Dimmy or something.

[Section_31]

There are a few Speke lads running a few things in that part of the world nowdays though Mark - must've thought you were some snarler brought in from the Dimmy or something.

 

haha fucking hell, blast from the past that - what an absolute HOLE!

[WaltonRed]

It must take some doing getting shit for your appearance at the Leeds Festival, the place looks like Jabba's Palace.

 

I think that time was just a random Knobhead picking on random people and he picked us.

[john23liverpool]

ive got a good example for you.

 

I went to uni in south shields (in between newcastle and sunderland for those who dont know).

 

The local pub i used was a couple of doors down from a chippy that did a nice drunken end of the night kebab.

 

The owners of this chippy were a Turkish fella called az and a "scouser" called marie. She sounded like a geordie/mackem to me in all honestly. Not even the slightest hint of a scouse accent. (I found out later shes been living in the north east for 30 years).

 

The first time she heard me order she went into greaty market mode. "ello laddd, wharra yew doin up errrrrre!!!"

 

it was embarrasing as fuck as it was obvious to everyone she is NOT a scouser.

 

I asked her where she was from and when she said crosby I started laughing. Crosby is nowhere near liverpool love, tone down the fake accent. Never said that to her though, she gave me massively discounted kebabs!!

[Section_31]

ive got a good example for you.

 

I went to uni in south shields (in between newcastle and sunderland for those who dont know).

 

The local pub i used was a couple of doors down from a chippy that did a nice drunken end of the night kebab.

 

The owners of this chippy were a Turkish fella called az and a "scouser" called marie. She sounded like a geordie/mackem to me in all honestly. Not even the slightest hint of a scouse accent. (I found out later shes been living in the north east for 30 years).

 

The first time she heard me order she went into greaty market mode. "ello laddd, wharra yew doin up errrrrre!!!"

 

it was embarrasing as fuck as it was obvious to everyone she is NOT a scouser.

 

I asked her where she was from and when she said crosby I started laughing. Crosby is nowhere near liverpool love, tone down the fake accent. Never said that to her though, she gave me massively discounted kebabs!!

 

One of my old school 'mates' does that with the Yorkshire accent for some strange reason. He'd been living in Sheffield for about 18 months and starts saying stuff to me like "how do?" and I'm lilke "Dave stop being such a bad bellend."

 

Conversely though, he plays up the whole scouse act when he's out round his way.

 

I like my accent, and I think scouse sounds unique and ace when it's spoken properly, it's probably my favourite accent along with Newcastle and southern Irish, but I really couldn't care what people think of me or how scouse I am, I have no desire at all to export my scouseness around the globe.

[kopitegaz]

One of my old school 'mates' does that with the Yorkshire accent for some strange reason. He'd been living in Sheffield for about 18 months and starts saying stuff to me like "how do?" and I'm lilke "Dave stop being such a bad bellend."

 

Conversely though, he plays up the whole scouse act when he's out round his way.

 

I like my accent, and I think scouse sounds unique and ace when it's spoken properly, it's probably my favourite accent along with Newcastle and southern Irish, but I really couldn't care what people think of me or how scouse I am, I have no desire at all to export my scouseness around the globe.

 

As always, Section knows.....

[3 Colours Red]

There are probably some people who are just more suscepible to picking up the accent of those around them. Just ask Sshhteve " I'm a Dutchman" McClaren.

[Section_31]

There are probably some people who are just more suscepible to picking up the accent of those around them. Just ask Sshhteve " I'm a Dutchman" McClaren.

 

Only to a small extent I reckon, I've lived among wools for eight years and my accent is still the same, although certain small phrases have crept in (I was roundly abused by a mate not long ago for asking him to 'fetch me DVDs back')

 

I did a thing in English A level once which said that Scouse was actually corosive to other accents because it's so strong, it took influences from Welsh and Irish but is so distinct that it actually repels the surrounding cheshire and lancashire accents because it's stronger than them. Quality,

[Ginny]

I have been away for about 4 years. My accent has softened naturally but everyone can tell i'm Scouse. The thing is with Scouse is that people start using Scouse words very easily when they are around you. I use zero words or phrases from the wools around me but they use mine. I think Scouse is strong in that way.

[WaltonRed]

Crosby isnt Liverpool but then I have mates who would be devo'd if I said to them you arent a Scouser.

 

Bootle and Huyton aren't technically but you wouldnt say that to our skipper and vice skipper would you.

[Stu Monty]

I have no accent.

 

I say boss and how do.

 

I am a walking melting pot.

[Faustus]

Crosby isnt Liverpool but then I have mates who would be devo'd if I said to them you arent a Scouser.

 

Bootle and Huyton aren't technically but you wouldnt say that to our skipper and vice skipper would you.

 

Makes me laugh though how Jay Spearing's suddenly become a Scouser...

[WaltonRed]

Makes me laugh though how Jay Spearing's suddenly become a Scouser...

 

He hasnt, if he's not from here then he isnt.

 

I always thought he was until the other night and so now I know.

 

Its what I call the 'Miles Kane syndrome'

[Faustus]

He hasnt, if he's not from here then he isnt.

 

I always thought he was until the other night and so now I know.

 

Its what I call the 'Miles Kane syndrome'

 

I've heard it from a few people about how good it is to see another Scouser make it in the side, but in fairness, it's probably down to not knowing where he's from more than anything else. He's from Wallasey so I actually feel sorry for the lad on that score!

 

The main thing that pisses me off with ESD sufferers is as if being a Scouser's something everyone should aspire to be. I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to be a Scouser and I'm perfectly happy with where I'm from. Obviously I love Liverpool considering I live here, go to uni here, support the team and drink round here, but if people ask, I always say I'm not a Scouser and I'm from Birkenhead.

[RedKnight]

Why are some people from Liverpool so obsessed about whether people are from Liverpool or not? I reckon Section may have the answer to this question that has vexed me for years.

[Section_31]

Why are some people from Liverpool so obsessed about whether people are from Liverpool or not? I reckon Section may have the answer to this question that has vexed me for years.

 

I personally think it's the connotations it brings, i.e that you're 'hard' and 'streetwise'.

 

I've always felt younger scousers wear it on their sleeve to the point where it's become the equivelant of being an 'O.G' in the states.

 

 

That's the vibe I get anyway, scouse ergo tough, and if you're not then you're not in the club.

[WaltonRed]

I just dont see the point in it and thats what pisses me off. Its nothing to do with being in a 'club' or being 'hard'.

 

I'd purge most Scousers Uncle Joe style.

 

I just think in some cases its better to say your from Liverpool than a little place on the wirral, If I was Miles Kane or the Coral i'd say i'm from where I was from to give that place so credit rather than somewhere over the water.

 

People jump on the coat tails to further themselves and it pisses me off.

[Michael Howard]

Seems to be increasing exponentially, lads who are at best 'barely' scouse giving it the 'Ya mar' and 'Lad' treatment in public heighways for all to hear.

 

Fuck off.

 

Reminds me of my college days when someone asked a mate where he was from, when he said Huyton the girl said: 'Your not a propper scouser' to which he replied: '.....So?'

 

 

The girl seemed genuinely baffled as to why this wasn't an issue for him!

 

Another thing which pisses me off, living and socialising in Cheshire but being a scouser is the 'scouse solidarity' routine you get when you go out and encounter another one. As if somehow: (a) we should all stick together (B) everyone else is shit and scared of us and © we run this town we do.

 

 

Widnes ? That's pushing it a bit there mate ;)

 

(says he living in Ellesmere Port and Neston !!).