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Gollum in yesterdays Mirror

mudman79

By mudman79,
in FF - Football Forum

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mudman79 Apprentice

mudman79

Posted
Posted

" There is a tradition and history of European success at this club , and we are desperately trying to get back into europe and do it regularly - that is what this club is about." Yeah , apart from the seasons when they,re desperately trying to avoid relegation . He,s always good for a giggle isn,t he.

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Kopite Grand Master

Kopite

Posted
Posted
" There is a tradition and history of European success at this club , and we are desperately trying to get back into europe and do it regularly - that is what this club is about." Yeah , apart from the seasons when they,re desperately trying to avoid relegation . He,s always good for a giggle isn,t he.

 

"Tradition and history" WTF?

 

F*cking hell, he thinks they're Real Madrid!

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RoboRiise Grand Master

RoboRiise

Posted
Posted
" There is a tradition and history of European success at this club , and we are desperately trying to get back into europe and do it regularly - that is what this club is about." Yeah , apart from the seasons when they,re desperately trying to avoid relegation . He,s always good for a giggle isn,t he.

 

Somebody had better tell him that they abolished the Anglo-Italian Cup.

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Chocoholic Grand Master

Chocoholic

Posted
Posted

Can't wait to hear that 'famous and traditional' goodison roar as they take on the might of FC Kyrgystan in the first Euro tie. All the cameras will be there. Hairy ape keyes will be there, presenting this European special programme, starting at 6PM to give it its full due pre-match build-up.

 

Ex 'greats' stumpy cottee, peter the budgie and graeme blunt will be just some of the studio guests for this special, which will surely be available straight away on dvd. While it's still fresh in the memory.....where it belongs.

 

Billy boy will be the centre of attention, as is his wont, parading their invited guests past the highlight of the whole ground....a framed picture of them piled like shite on top of each other in celebration of their historic 3-0 win against that lot from across the Park. A dvd of the occasion will be offered to all guests, (for a nominal fee) who will then be invited to queue in an orderly fashion while ex corrie star signs each copy, (for another nominal fee) thereby doubling its value.

 

At the appointed hour, the crowd will sing a blood-curdling rendition of 'stand up if you hate the redshite', complete with actions, which will be the envy of crowds everywhere in Europe and the cameras will all be there to record this, ehh, seminal moment.

 

At kick-off, cameras will pan and zoom into billy boy with tears rolling down his cheeks and a wistful smile on his lips, as he relishes the moment he, and they, have waited so long for. Since the disaster in Bucharest, that is.

 

In the commentary box, summariser, andy gray will be running through his long list of cliches and waiting with barely disguised excitement to shout 'penalty!' over and above the match commentator, as the human penis sneezes and falls over in the box while the ball is at the other end of the pitch.

 

Tempered by his colleague's demand to sit down and shut the fuck up, (not available on the dvd), gray will wait eagerly for the moment, on 90+3 minutes, at 0-0, when he can pronounce the tie is won, by spouting 'This game is over, and I love sayin thaaaa' Get them back to their place and score an away goal and it's ours, we're onto the next level in Europe.

 

Cue scenes of unbridled joy from the luvvie in the stand who wipes the tears away with his silk scarf as he savours the atmosphere, as the thronging crowd, knowing they're being recorded for posterity,once again bleat out, you guessed it, 'stand up if you hate the redshite' The extended version, to be released on CD as a companion issue to the dvd.

 

It just can't come soon enough!

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RedBrian84 Experienced

RedBrian84

Posted
Posted
Re: Gollum in yesterdays Mirror

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Can't wait to hear that 'famous and traditional' goodison roar as they take on the might of FC Kyrgystan in the first Euro tie. All the cameras will be there. Hairy ape keyes will be there, presenting this European special programme, starting at 6PM to give it its full due pre-match build-up.

 

Ex 'greats' stumpy cottee, peter the budgie and graeme blunt will be just some of the studio guests for this special, which will surely be available straight away on dvd. While it's still fresh in the memory.....where it belongs.

 

Billy boy will be the centre of attention, as is his wont, parading their invited guests past the highlight of the whole ground....a framed picture of them piled like shite on top of each other in celebration of their historic 3-0 win against that lot from across the Park. A dvd of the occasion will be offered to all guests, (for a nominal fee) who will then be invited to queue in an orderly fashion while ex corrie star signs each copy, (for another nominal fee) thereby doubling its value.

 

At the appointed hour, the crowd will sing a blood-curdling rendition of 'stand up if you hate the redshite', complete with actions, which will be the envy of crowds everywhere in Europe and the cameras will all be there to record this, ehh, seminal moment.

 

At kick-off, cameras will pan and zoom into billy boy with tears rolling down his cheeks and a wistful smile on his lips, as he relishes the moment he, and they, have waited so long for. Since the disaster in Bucharest, that is.

 

In the commentary box, summariser, andy gray will be running through his long list of cliches and waiting with barely disguised excitement to shout 'penalty!' over and above the match commentator, as the human penis sneezes and falls over in the box while the ball is at the other end of the pitch.

 

Tempered by his colleague's demand to sit down and shut the fuck up, (not available on the dvd), gray will wait eagerly for the moment, on 90+3 minutes, at 0-0, when he can pronounce the tie is won, by spouting 'This game is over, and I love sayin thaaaa' Get them back to their place and score an away goal and it's ours, we're onto the next level in Europe.

 

Cue scenes of unbridled joy from the luvvie in the stand who wipes the tears away with his silk scarf as he savours the atmosphere, as the thronging crowd, knowing they're being recorded for posterity,once again bleat out, you guessed it, 'stand up if you hate the redshite' The extended version, to be released on CD as a companion issue to the dvd.

 

It just can't come soon enough!

 

Genius.

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Anubis Grand Master

Anubis

Posted
Posted

Don't be churlish boys and girls. Everton is in Liverpool. Liverpool is in England. England is in Great Britain. Great Britain is in the UK. The UK is in Europe. Ergo, Everton have a tradition of being in Europe.

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