little things that annoy the shit out of you

[John102]

9 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Everyone knows Monica Galetti's got a bigger dick than you 

You pay taxi drivers the exact fare, you scruffy wool cunt.

[Bjornebye]

3 minutes ago, John102 said:

You pay taxi drivers the exact fare, you scruffy wool cunt.

You don't know the difference between an eggplant and a turnip you fucking blocked drain 

[Captain Turdseye]

[John102]

Fat Eggplant

[John102]

Fat Turnip

[Bjornebye]

[Bjornebye]

Harsh on Phil that 

[Captain Turdseye]

Fuck sake. I was gonna go to bed. 

[Jose Jones]

10 hours ago, chrisbonnie said:

stupid shaped jars, so when you get to the bottom of the jar you cant get the contents out. 

 

can companies not put some R&D into the shape of their jars so half of the fucking peanut butter cant actually be eaten.

 

making my porridge this morning and i felt robbed that i couldnt get a good scoop of the salty goodness into my porridge. 

Peanut butter in porridge?

Not sure I can approve of that.

[General Dryness]

2 hours ago, John102 said:

Fat Turnip

Good to see Thommo helping out with care in the community. 

[VladimirIlyich]

6 hours ago, John102 said:

Fat Turnip

The Lion Sleeps Tonight(Tight Fit.)

[chrisbonnie]

12 hours ago, Jose Jones said:

Peanut butter in porridge?

Not sure I can approve of that.

peanut butter and honey, give it a try, it'll change your life. 

[Bjornebye]

2 minutes ago, chrisbonnie said:

peanut butter and honey, give it a try, it'll change your life. 

My missus likes peanut butter and jam together on toast. 

 

Peanut butter and honey sounds lovely 

[Bobby Hundreds]

Costco mince pies are lovely but seriously does there need to be 10 kilos of icing sugar across the top, I look like Tony Montana just taking a bite. 

[Elite]

26 minutes ago, Bobby Hundreds said:

Costco mince pies are lovely but seriously does there need to be 10 kilos of icing sugar across the top, I look like Tony Montana just taking a bite. 

Always be suspicious of something too sweet or salty.

[VladimirIlyich]

5 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

My missus likes peanut butter and jam together on toast. 

 

Peanut butter and honey sounds lovely 

Peanut Butter and Honey sounds great without the Peanut Butter. Filthy American crap.

[Kevin D]

Reserved seats. How it can be so difficult to understand this?

[Mudface]

2 minutes ago, Kevin D said:

Reserved seats. How it can be so difficult to understand this?

I remember struggling on to a packed train from Leeds to Edinburgh a while back to find some smug-looking arsehole sitting in my reserved seat. I told him it was my seat and pointed to the display above it- the cunt actually insisted on seeing my reservation ticket before he'd move, and I had to juggle my bags while being buffeted by people moving down the aisle to get my wallet out. If I hadn't have been so hungover, I'd have beaten him to death with my suitcase (I wouldn't really, I'd have sat down and fumed while plotting his demise).

[Bruce Spanner]

A few years back me and a mate were on a packed train down to London.

 

A bloke, you'll know the type once I tell the story, was sat in a young womans seat.

 

She asked nicely if he'd move and this middle aged, overweight, underbrained fucking cretin said 'No' and then proceed to just ignore the woman as she protested.

 

It was early evening and me and my mate had had a few at this point so we just watched for a minute or two as he just blanked her as she spoke to him.

 

After about two minutes he told her 'go away, I'm not moving'

 

Me and my mate walked over without acknowledging him or saying a word and jusy picked him up and moved him out of the carridge, he didn't say a word.

 

The lady sat down, we finished our G&T's and he, no doubt, fumed the whole way as he waited for a seat to become available.

[TheBitch]

I’m getting seriously fucked off with my phone autocorrecting good to goof, when the fuck have I ever used the word goof, I’ve checked the autocorrect bollocks in settings and it’s all clear. 
 

I’m convinced the ghost of Steve Jobs is just fucking with me; I’m losing my mind with this now as the amount of times I’ve sent messages to people without checking my spelling and I’ve been made to look a fucking halfwit is ridiculous. 

[Bjornebye]

It didn't really annoy me but I couldn't think where to put this. I had a Life of Brian moment earlier. She took the blinds down yesterday to give them a scrub as we've had an onset of damp (pain in the arse). Had a lie in today, she was downstairs. I get up bollock naked and open the curtains forgetting the blinds weren't up. 

 

 

 

[Elite]

4 hours ago, Bruce Spanner said:

A few years back me and a mate were on a packed train down to London.

 

A bloke, you'll know the type once I tell the story, was sat in a young womans seat.

 

She asked nicely if he'd move and this middle aged, overweight, underbrained fucking cretin said 'No' and then proceed to just ignore the woman as she protested.

 

It was early evening and me and my mate had had a few at this point so we just watched for a minute or two as he just blanked her as she spoke to him.

 

After about two minutes he told her 'go away, I'm not moving'

 

Me and my mate walked over without acknowledging him or saying a word and jusy picked him up and moved him out of the carridge, he didn't say a word.

 

The lady sat down, we finished our G&T's and he, no doubt, fumed the whole way as he waited for a seat to become available.

 

[John102]

1 minute ago, Elite said:

 

hahaha

[General Dryness]

1 hour ago, Elite said:

 

 

[Arniepie]

6 hours ago, Bruce Spanner said:

A few years back me and a mate were on a packed train down to London.

 

A bloke, you'll know the type once I tell the story, was sat in a young womans seat.

 

She asked nicely if he'd move and this middle aged, overweight, underbrained fucking cretin said 'No' and then proceed to just ignore the woman as she protested.

 

It was early evening and me and my mate had had a few at this point so we just watched for a minute or two as he just blanked her as she spoke to him.

 

After about two minutes he told her 'go away, I'm not moving'

 

Me and my mate walked over without acknowledging him or saying a word and jusy picked him up and moved him out of the carridge, he didn't say a word.

 

The lady sat down, we finished our G&T's and he, no doubt, fumed the whole way as he waited for a seat to become available.

There is a shaken not stirred gag in there somewhere.