little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Guest Pistonbroke]

I hate it when I'm knackered and want to go to bed, then on logging out of my PC it says "Installing 1 of 22 windows updates, do not turn off etc....." Fucking Microsoft cunts. 

 

And yes, I know I could just turn off the Monitor etc and go to bed, but we unplug everything before going to bed, well I say unplug, we knock the switch to off on the extension cables etc. I even have the ones with a remote control because I'm a lazy bastard. 

[Bjornebye]

Big lungs anyway

 

The GF demand to see a picture of this bruiser and her chebs

 

Right away 

[moof]

Lung capacity is handy when you take a girl into the hot tub.

[halewood pete]

Dropping my reading glasses down the toilet as I have just done.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Dropping my reading glasses down the toilet as I have just done.

Well it is Friday the 26th! Which is a multiple of 13, so watch your step HP, your glasses were a mere warning of what nastiness awaits you today. 

[Guest Pistonbroke]

When you are driving and you see a glorious arse in a mini skirt, lovely legs and long dark hair, then when you get past said bint and turn around she has a face like it's hit every branch while falling down the ugly tree! Ugly women, do us male drivers a favour, get fat and wear shit clothes, you may prevent an unnecessary accident! 

[magicrat]

Dropping my reading glasses down the toilet as I have just done.

My mate dropped his brand new Iphone down the bog at Glastonbury a couple of years . Pissed and not stopping to think it would be fucked anyway he stripped down to the waist and tried to fish it it out. Covered in shit and piss and didn't even get the phone. Not a great decsion

[Paulie Dangerously]

People who can't use a Sky remote control. Remember the fucking numbers!!! It's not hard, 101 is BBC mum and if I have to watch you go to planner and then scroll through the menu I'm going to have to put you in a home .

My old man does that. Even if going from BBC1 to ITV

[The Golden Eel]

People who change their avatars all the time.  Mongs. 

[stringvest]

Dropping my reading glasses down the toilet as I have just done.

 

I thought you were bifocal Pete

 

When you are driving and you see a glorious arse in a mini skirt, lovely legs and long dark hair, then when you get past said bint and turn around she has a face like it's hit every branch while falling down the ugly tree! Ugly women, do us male drivers a favour, get fat and wear shit clothes, you may prevent an unnecessary accident! 

 

or maybe a sign on their back that says 'Don't Be Fooled'.

[A Red]

When you are driving and you see a glorious arse in a mini skirt, lovely legs and long dark hair, then when you get past said bint and turn around she has a face like it's hit every branch while falling down the ugly tree! Ugly women, do us male drivers a favour, get fat and wear shit clothes, you may prevent an unnecessary accident! 

 

BOBFOC's

[Stu Monty]

Here's one that properly annoys me that someone will probably say it's a piece of piss to sort.

 

I'm on Twitter on my Nexus and want to look at stuff at the bottom of my feed from hours ago - and work my way up. As soon as I click on something to take a closer look and pop back to my feed it throws me right back up to the top of the feed. It's fucking annoying. If I'm being a technotard then can someone please tell me how not to be before I just kill two birds with one stone and launch my phone at some cunt I don't like.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

BOBFOC's

Indeed. 

[sir roger]

Bought a sausage & bacon on toast this morning & they did the poncey thing of cutting it corner to corner.

 

I can just about accept  a ham sandwich or whatever like this , but sausage & bacon fit perfectly cut in 2 perfect rectangles.

 

There were tiny bits of sausage falling out of the corners , it was just chaos.

[manwiththestick]

Here's one that properly annoys me that someone will probably say it's a piece of piss to sort.

 

I'm on Twitter on my Nexus and want to look at stuff at the bottom of my feed from hours ago - and work my way up. As soon as I click on something to take a closer look and pop back to my feed it throws me right back up to the top of the feed. It's fucking annoying. If I'm being a technotard then can someone please tell me how not to be before I just kill two birds with one stone and launch my phone at some cunt I don't like.

Me too but on a Galaxy. Hate that shit, like you said it's probably dead easy to fix.

[Carvalho Diablo]

Was listening to the Ryder Cup tee off's on the radio, and Ivor Robson ( the guy from the R and A who announces the matches at the 1st tee), well his Godawful, high pitched squeaky voice absolutely gets on my fucking bastard tits. What a total ponce.

 

When he announced Rory McIlroy's name I could feel the bile rise in my throat.

 

Try this from 3'10" http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b04jjyyw/golf-ryder-cup-2014-day-1

 

Ivor lad, man the fuck up you effete pansy.

 

[cloggypop]

Here's one that properly annoys me that someone will probably say it's a piece of piss to sort.

 

I'm on Twitter on my Nexus and want to look at stuff at the bottom of my feed from hours ago - and work my way up. As soon as I click on something to take a closer look and pop back to my feed it throws me right back up to the top of the feed. It's fucking annoying. If I'm being a technotard then can someone please tell me how not to be before I just kill two birds with one stone and launch my phone at some cunt I don't like.

 

I don't know if you can on the official twitter app but you can set Tweetcaster to open from the bottom and choose how many tweets etc.

[Harry Squatter]

When adverts for cars or sofas are on the telly and the narrator says "buy this car for one nine nine a month" instead if saying one hundred and ninety nine pounds.

 

Martin Kemp or that Geordie slag off Loose Women sitting on a sofa saying a leather couch is fantastic value at three eight nine.

[Skidfingers McGonical]

When adverts for cars or sofas are on the telly and the narrator says "buy this car for one nine nine a month" instead if saying one hundred and ninety nine pounds.

 

Martin Kemp or that Geordie slag off Loose Women sitting on a sofa saying a leather couch is fantastic value at three eight nine.

Agree with this one zero zero percent.

[Spy Bee]

The voice recognition thing on my car. It tells me I have a text and advises me to say "read it" or "hang up". I mean these phrases are quite simple and very fucking different, but all I get back is "I'm sorry, I did not understand!"

 

Deaf cunt!

[Furmedge]

Get this car for only £219 a month*

 

*this doesn't include metallic paint, any extras or even a steering wheel. Oh, and we'll need 10 grand up front, restrict your mileage to 6k per year with a big balloon payment, and screw you for every mile you do over the agreed limit.

[VladimirIlyich]

The sport that we all love and brings us together barely needs a commentator for it let alone an ex player to waffle on telling us exactly what we have already been told and can also see. This while being paid a fuckin fortune to rabbit on Parrot fashion.

Just fuck off.

[A Red]

Ink cartridge wrapping. Fucking hell.

[VladimirIlyich]

Another one that gets on my tits big time is watching a film and interrupting it with a 'showbiz news' bulletin about nothing at all that matters in the real world. Yes you ITV and the ruining of some good films. No wonder everybody is using live tv recorders like Sky+.

No wonder you are going out of business you fucktards.

[Champ]

 

 

 

Well I guess we won't get on as well as I first thought then champ, even after all that excellent running chat. Gutted.

 

Yeah I know I was in the wrong but frankly, his overt business wound me up so much that I became angry. Was I really hurting anyone and was it really his place to put me right?

 

Busy old twat.

We'll get along fine just so long as you desist from this lout behaviour in the future.

 

In other busy old twat news, maybe even inspired by this thread, I called 2 kids out of one the upright freezer cabinets in our local Sainsburys on Friday. There was a bit of me that wanted to laugh at the madness of the picture but they needed telling and besides 'its everyone's job to make sure I'm all right' is government policy here. Busy twats charter, right there