little things that annoy the shit out of you

[Davelfc]

The ice cream man round our way used to smoke, so most of the cornets tasted of cig smoke. Didn't stop us eating them.

[dockers_strike]

2 minutes ago, Poster said:

The ice cream man round our way used to smoke, so most of the cornets tasted of cig smoke. Didn't stop us eating them.

Hope he didnt piss in a bottle in his van!

[Harry's Lad]

2 minutes ago, Poster said:

The ice cream man round our way used to smoke, so most of the cornets tasted of cig smoke. Didn't stop us eating them.

I remember a woman ranting at an ice cream man once, she'd caught him picking his nose and then picking up a cornet to serve some kid.

Really had a go at him calling him all the dirty bastards under the sun. He fucked off quick.

 

I went home and told me Mam about it and that was that, no more ice creams off him ever.

 

[chrisbonnie]

Two little quips of mine I've meaning to put up. 

 

One is every time I seen to open a box of tablets, as nurofen, solpadeine etc.... I always open the end with the stupid little instructions in it, blocking my path to the nectar inside. 

 

Another one, is twats who claim they "can't take tablets" 

 

My missus being one, silly bitch takes in big gulps of water, then does this stupid arching of her head to swallow the tablet. She looks like a fucking duck swallowing when she's doing it.

 

How can people claim they can't eat tablets when they throw any deep fried crap down their gob without any fuss. Twats 

[Bjornebye]

23 minutes ago, chrisbonnie said:

Two little quips of mine I've meaning to put up. 

 

One is every time I seen to open a box of tablets, as nurofen, solpadeine etc.... I always open the end with the stupid little instructions in it, blocking my path to the nectar inside. 

 

Another one, is twats who claim they "can't take tablets" 

 

My missus being one, silly bitch takes in big gulps of water, then does this stupid arching of her head to swallow the tablet. She looks like a fucking duck swallowing when she's doing it.

 

How can people claim they can't eat tablets when they throw any deep fried crap down their gob without any fuss. Twats 

Certain types of tablet 'back in the day' were particularly hard to swallow at times. I feel sick just thinking about it. 

[VladimirIlyich]

2 hours ago, dockers_strike said:

Asda's knock off Magnums are good especially the nut covered ones.

They are. I love those nut covered ones.

[Davelfc]

1 hour ago, Harry's Lad said:

I remember a woman ranting at an ice cream man once, she'd caught him picking his nose and then picking up a cornet to serve some kid.

Really had a go at him calling him all the dirty bastards under the sun. He fucked off quick.

 

I went home and told me Mam about it and that was that, no more ice creams off him ever.

 

Come to think of it, his rum and raisin didn't have a rum flavour. 

[Preston Red]

49 minutes ago, chrisbonnie said:

One is every time I seen to open a box of tablets, as nurofen, solpadeine etc.... I always open the end with the stupid little instructions in it, blocking my path to the nectar inside. 

If you open the "blank" end (i.e. no brand name etc) you'll get the instruction leaflet. Open the end with the brand name, you're straight to the tablets

[Jairzinho]

1 hour ago, Bjornebye said:

Certain types of tablet 'back in the day' were particularly hard to swallow at times. I feel sick just thinking about it. 

Can you remember those cod liver oil capsules?

 

Feel sick just thinking about those evil little cunts.

[Harry's Lad]

4 minutes ago, Jairzinho said:

Can you remember those cod liver oil capsules?

 

Feel sick just thinking about those evil little cunts.

Vile things. They'd repeat on you for hours.

[VladimirIlyich]

5 minutes ago, Jairzinho said:

Can you remember those cod liver oil capsules?

 

Feel sick just thinking about those evil little cunts.

Cod Liver Oil gives me the shits.

[Jairzinho]

Just now, Harry's Lad said:

Vile things. They'd repeat on you for hours.

For some reason my mum wanted me to take them when I was about six or seven. I'd just lash them behind the fridge.

 

About two years later they found about 500 of them back there.

 

Fuck knows why I couldn't have just had some mackeral or something.

[lifetime fan]

You lot got off lightly - Nan used to give it to us as liquid out the bottle. 
 

Should have called the NSPCC for that kind of abuse. 

[Harry's Lad]

18 minutes ago, Jairzinho said:

For some reason my mum wanted me to take them when I was about six or seven. I'd just lash them behind the fridge.

 

About two years later they found about 500 of them back there.

 

Fuck knows why I couldn't have just had some mackeral or something.

My Mum was the same when I was about the same age. Pity there was no such thing as Childline back then, I'd have reported her.

Horrible things.

[chrisbonnie]

2 hours ago, Preston Red said:

If you open the "blank" end (i.e. no brand name etc) you'll get the instruction leaflet. Open the end with the brand name, you're straight to the tablets

really?

 

ill have to remember that next time i have a hangover

[dockers_strike]

The 'fresh' meat counter at Asda but could be any of the big stores. Look for a tray of say 4 chicken breasts or 4 chops etc. Pick one out only to find 3 of the fuckers are one size and lean while the 4th, hidden by the other 3 is fucking tiny with loads of sinew or fat on it!

[Harry's Lad]

1 hour ago, dockers_strike said:

The 'fresh' meat counter at Asda but could be any of the big stores. Look for a tray of say 4 chicken breasts or 4 chops etc. Pick one out only to find 3 of the fuckers are one size and lean while the 4th, hidden by the other 3 is fucking tiny with loads of sinew or fat on it!

It's very rare for us to get our meat from the supermarkets. We usually go to Taylor's farm shop in Lathom which is about 10 minutes away from where we live.

Top quality local produce which does cost a bit more, but you get what you pay for.

 

Costco's pork loin steaks are spot on too and very reasonably priced.

 

[Mook]

18 hours ago, Jairzinho said:

For some reason my mum wanted me to take them when I was about six or seven. I'd just lash them behind the fridge.

 

About two years later they found about 500 of them back there.

 

Fuck knows why I couldn't have just had some mackeral or something.

Did it never cross your mind to stick them in the bin rather than behind the fridge?

 

This has reminded me of one of my favourite quotes ever, David De Gea's wife saying that Manchester looked like 'the back of a fridge'. Absolutely superb stuff.

[Jairzinho]

51 minutes ago, Mook said:

Did it never cross your mind to stick them in the bin rather than behind the fridge?

 

This has reminded me of one of my favourite quotes ever, David De Gea's wife saying that Manchester looked like 'the back of a fridge'. Absolutely superb stuff.

Nah, they went behind the fridge so no-one could see I wasn't taking the horrible little cunts.

[Bjornebye]

People who absolutely piss themselves at their own remark/comment. 99% of the time it isn't remotely funny. They just burst out laughing when they speak. Her brother does it and it drives me mad. Ok I get it if you say something funny, we are all capable of making ourselves laugh from time to time but fucking fuck off. Rick from Pawn Stars is another one of these self-laughing cunt wizards "It's cool, but....It's gonna be hard for me to sell.. hehehaaaaahahahahahahagghhhhhhh" 

 

 

 

[Bruce Spanner]

We have a bin built in to the counter top.

 

My wife leaves things next to the bin and doesn’t not put them in.

 

We have had words, she continues, I may not…

[redinblack]

1. People talking during Popmaster on Ken Bruce on Radio 2

2. People talking about how they thought they had the last question right but didnt, while Ken Bruce is reading out the next question.

 

Shut.Up.

[Bjornebye]

7 minutes ago, redinblack said:

1. People talking during Popmaster on Ken Bruce on Radio 2

2. People talking about how they thought they had the last question right but didnt, while Ken Bruce is reading out the next question.

 

Shut.Up.

Never listen to popmaster around other people. I rang my dad during popmaster once, he didn't speak to me for a month 

[manwiththestick]

10 minutes ago, redinblack said:

1. People talking during Popmaster on Ken Bruce on Radio 2

2. People talking about how they thought they had the last question right but didnt, while Ken Bruce is reading out the next question.

 

Shut.Up.

I used to work for a family business in  town many years ago and would go out and make deliveries to one particular customer out somewhere between Burscoughand Southport, I would time my leaving the shop so that I could pull into the same country lane lay-by every day to listen to Popmaster.

 

Not listened to it for years now, perhaps I should whilst working from home, what time is it on these days, still about half ten?

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

21 hours ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

Passwords that are too complicated. This is the number of combinations for my BT broadband account. 

2,481,152,873,203,740,000.00

 

Just fucking ridiculous

 

Sure that’s not your bank balance?