Dangerwanking

[Alan Sex]

Nothing beats a dirty car wank on a long trip, just gotta watch out for the prying eyes from truckers and greyhound buses.

 

Does Dangermouse dangerwank?

[stringvest]

I had a Wank in the Car at Service Station a while back. My Bird ex sent me a Picture of her on my phone and I decided to act upon the sudden urge that came over me.

 

Wiped the mess with a Burger King Bag.

 

did you shoot over your baps?

[Remmie]

You called?

[Unrighteous]

You called?

 

It's about time you arrived... a whole thread about wanking!

 

Anyway, do you think it would possible to meld the runwank with the dangerwank?

 

Like maybe hop a fence... and run from a guard dog whilst having the wank?

[23_Carra_Gold]

:ermm:

 

also, you referred to your nan as a blind bat:telloff:

 

...

 

I bet she isn't blind.

 

Yeah...in fairness anybody who believed any part of that story is a pretty sick bastard...

[L.F.C]

My mate had a wank in an after school detention once.

[DT]

Remmie did a series of danger wanks years ago I seem to recall. In fact, I reckon he probably invented the term.

[Anubis]

I don't know who put that Rooney tag on, but I've just pissed myself laughing.

[Harry Squatter]

Was talking about this to my mate who works in the courts, he said some guy got sent down for 18 months for having a dangerwank on the top deck of a bus, he blurted on some birds leg, she started screaming and ran down to the driver and he fucked off the bus pronto. The stupid twat only got caught by the bizzies in a nearby park after showing his lash to 2 girls about an hour after his dangerwank. My mate said that the court report was hilarious because the judge said "The girl only noticed that you had been masturbating when she felt something warm dribble down her leg"

[Herp McDerp]

Was talking about this to my mate who works in the courts, he said some guy got sent down for 18 months for having a dangerwank on the top deck of a bus, he blurted on some birds leg, she started screaming and ran down to the driver and he fucked off the bus pronto. The stupid twat only got caught by the bizzies in a nearby park after showing his lash to 2 girls about an hour after his dangerwank. My mate said that the court report was hilarious because the judge said "The girl only noticed that you had been masturbating when she felt something warm dribble down her leg"

 

:wow:, he must be a pretty good stealthwanker for her not to notice.

[Harry Squatter]

:wow:, he must be a pretty good stealthwanker for her not to notice.

 

She was listening to her I-Pod. He said it was all a misunderstanding and he didnt have a wank, until his DNA confirmed it he then pleaded guilty.

[Hooch]

My Nannys blind and back when I was younger she used to let me stay up late if me ma and da went out. So we'd sit on the couch and watch, listen in her case, to Eastenders, Corrie and whatever else was on. When the time came I'd mute the tele and switch to the dirty channell. Straight away I'd say "Fuck it...the teles broke again Nan". I'd tell her I was trying to fix it as I was cracking a real cheeky one out. Once I finished I'd feel guilty and immediately put the other channel back on. "There you go Nan I fixed it" I'd say. "It must have been real hard work lad, you're still out of breath!!" She'd say back. Blind bat.

 

If anybody can beat that dangerwanking...

 

So wrong.

Aren't most 'blind' people actually just partially blind? As in they can't really see but can make out blurry objects and movement and so on?

If so she probably knew, you mucky mucker you.

[Anny Road]

120 mph in a rented jag in the fast lane of the m6 near Carlise with mate asleep in the back is the best I can come up with.

[Harry Squatter]

120 mph in a rented jag in the fast lane of the m6 near Carlise with mate asleep in the back is the best I can come up with.

 

Johnny Knoxville or the fellas on dirty sanchez wouldnt even try that.

[Yerma'satexan!]

I thought dangerwanking was when you start having a wank upstairs in your ma's house then you call her to come up, by which time hopefully you have finished before she enters the room.

 

Also, I have a friend of a friend who has a Japanese girlfriend who wanks him off with an empty crisp packet.

[Herp McDerp]

I thought dangerwanking was when you start having a wank upstairs in your ma's house then you call her to come up' date=' by which time hopefully you have finished before she enters the room.

 

Also, I have a friend of a friend who has a Japanese girlfriend who wanks him off with an empty crisp packet.

 

:wow: ???

[manwiththestick]

I don't know who put that Rooney tag on, but I've just pissed myself laughing.

 

Yes, come forward and have some rep, quality!

[Unrighteous]

... a crisp packet? On dear lords.

[Randy Marsh]

Lying here on the couch bored, waiting to go the pub in an hour for the match. Housemates are upstairs. Im in a sleeping bag. Dangerwank imminent.

[Randy Marsh]

Post-Dangerwank Report:

 

Superb. Couple of hairy moments when i thought the birds where coming down the stairs, when infact they where just going to the bathroom. Sleeping back now en route to washing machine.

[Top of the Kop]

I thought dangerwanking was when you start having a wank upstairs in your ma's house then you call her to come up' date=' by which time hopefully you have finished before she enters the room.

 

[b']Also, I have a friend of a friend who has a Japanese girlfriend who wanks him off with an empty crisp packet.[/b]

 

lets hope its not salt and vinegar...

[Herp McDerp]

lets hope its not salt and vinegar...

 

I winced.

[Captain]

Also' date=' I have a friend of a friend who has a Japanese girlfriend who wanks him off with an empty crisp packet.[/quote']

 

The GF never seizes to amaze me. I love this place.

[Fugitive]

I don't know who put that Rooney tag on, but I've just pissed myself laughing.

 

That was me.

 

I had one in the shed yesterday whist we had a piss up in ours. There were people smoking in the back whilst I was polishing my helmet.

 

Was sexy time in shed for old Fugitive.

[fowler9]

i remember having one on my work experience, guy i was working with came into office just after i'd got my pants back up, absolutley shat it