End of an era (or so to speak)

[coop]

Reading that i could hear the sad music in the background like them stories on Radio 1 (steve wright show i think).

 

Whilst she had her head on your chest you should have pushed her down for a sympathy blow job.

[She Knows It]

Sorry you're feeling so shite.... Can I ask, with hindsight were there any signs beforehand?

 

You'll be a bit numb right now, but will probably get angry soon. Try not to initiate contact, but if you do speak to her just be really nice, no matter how hard it is. Whatever you do, don't have a go at her. I bet you a pound to a pail of poo she'll be back within a fortnight.

 

In the meantime listen to the men. Drink. Lots. Hope you're feeling better soon matey.

[coop]

Now without making the feelings you have any worse is it possible she was getting knobbed elsewhere. She doesnt want to admit to a possible one night stand (or something similar) so therefore wants to try the old 'its not you its me' break up line.

 

Another possiblity is she is how old 21 - i was courting a lass for a couple of years when i was slightly younger then that and we seemed to live in each others pockets. This eventually did her head in as much as it did mine. I could put up with it because i was young and getting my end away on a nightly basis but eventually even that stopped as we were just sick of the sight of each other come the end.

 

Time is a wonderful healer and you will get over it but for now keep away from anything sharp or if it has a ropey look about it.

[Anny Road]

What you need is one of those tapes with whale noises on it.

[Joe Strummer]

Adopts Vito Corelone voice

 

"You can start by being a man"

[Spy Bee]

Am I the only one that read it and thought "She's definitely been cheating on him?". What with her confessions of being a shit girlfriend and all.

 

PS. Either way, it must be a fucker. I wouldn't know like, I've never had a serious relationship, but it always looks bad in Eastenders and all that.

[AVEEZ]

AXTRED, you sound like a proper gentleman, my good man. I hope things work out. I know how you feel. There's some seriously insensitive, unfunny fucks on this thread too.

 

Axtred - Chris is right... you do sound like a proper gentleman - you sound lovely.. so nice infact.. and here in lies your problem.. nice guys ALWAYS finish last!!! She is without a doubt bumping uglies with someone else even as I type!!

[SoMuch4Gravity]

Here's what should have happened:

 

Confession -> sympathy blow job (high fives coop) -> doggy -> anal -> donkey punch -> hoover -> dirty sanchez -> cleveland steamer (finale).

[SoMuch4Gravity]

Oh man, this is just plain mean.

 

oh come on chris, this has been one of the funniest threads in ages. RiS, Noos, Coop, all classic comments.

 

ATX knows he's got our support and I'm sure he appreciates our dedication to well timed humour in the light of adversity.

[Thants]

Drink, its the only way to flush her out of your system (if you used the Noos approach).

[ATXRED]

It's alright Chris, I wouldn't have posted on here if I didn't want to hear this stuff. I'm desparately in need of a laugh, and like I said, I post this because I knew what I'd get. Good humor and genuine kindness and well wishes, Chris_Royal's thread from a while back showed me that.

 

That said, thanks for having my back, but the jokes were a reason I post this here as well.

 

To all, well, I don't think she cheated on me. Her comment about being a horrible girlfriend was followed by her saying she'd been cold and standoffish. Maybe I'm being naive and giving her to much credit, but she's always done right by me so I refuse to think the worst of her. One of the reasons I love her is that she has class.

 

Although, I realize I should have pushed for guilty "you broke my heart" sex shouldn't I.

[Stu Monty]

Did all this happen with or without you having crisps on your eyes?

 

I need to set the scene properly in my head.

[Karl_b]

Have you tried rebooting?

 

Class.

[rondeco]

Here, this will help you..http://www.redtube.com/2792

[RedinSweden]

Here, this will help you..http://www.redtube.com/2792

 

dude, whack a NSFW warning on that.

[coop]

Here, this will help you..http://www.redtube.com/2792

 

The top bollocks on her who sits on the bed are stunning.

[murphy]

Tonight, my girlfriend called. It was a strange conversation, and I knew something was up. The call was random, not the kind I'm used to. She sounded a bit upset, and a bit out of it. She asked if she could come over. In the year and 5 months we've dated I've never said no to that question...not once. I've been tired, I've been in the worst mood in the world, I've been upset with her, but I've never said no to that question because I've never wanted to miss out on anything.

 

I wish I said no tonight.

 

She came over, and after sitting through the horribly long film "Zodiac", I asked her to go with me to my room. I knew something was up, I knew she had something she wanted to tell me, and I knew it was something I needed to hear. After 10 minutes of her burying her head into my chest I asked her what was wrong, and made her look into my eyes until she told me. She said to me "how can you be so good to me when I've such a horrible girlfriend".

 

After a few moments of collecting my thoughts, of making myself realize where the conversation was going, I told her the truth. She hasn't been a horrible girlfriend, there have been times when she wasn't a great girlfriend, but those times were insignificant when compared to the times she has been an amazing girlfriend. She in turn responded by pointing out that she had been very standoffish since she'd come home and that she hadn't treated me right.

 

I should tell you something significant about my girlfriend before I continue. I've only see her cry twice before tonight. Once three months into our relationship when she took a hit off a bong that she couldn't handle and became very sick. She spent the next half hour in the bathroom throwing up. I was only in there for a few minutes because she kicked me out saying she didn't want me to see her like this, that I shouldn't have to take care of her. She cried for nearly 3 hours until I was finally able to get her mind off of how she was feeling long enough to keep her from feeling like she needed to throw up.

 

The second time I saw her cry was last January. We were on the way back to my place from her going away party (she was leaving the country for Toulouse to study for the semester), and I had stopped at a fast food place to pick up a snack. While I'm waiting to order, I told her I loved her, and she staring crying saying how much she didn't want to go, and that she loved me.

 

She was not sober either of those occasions. She was tonight.

 

We laid down on my bed, and she once again buried her head in my chest. She began to cry, and when she finally look up at me through tear soaked eyes, she said she didn't feel she could continue to be in this relationship.

 

She said she didn't want things to be as serious as they were, that there was still so much she wanted to do in her life, so much she wanted to experience. I wish I would have asked her why she felt should couldn't fulfill that and be in a relationship with me, but that's life. You don't always get to say everything you want.

 

I told her how I felt about her, and I told her that I felt we would still be friends. Told her that she shouldn't ever feel she could go somewhere because I was going to be there, I asked her if she wanted me to say it was mutual so she wouldn't invoke the ire of mutual friends, and I told her to never hesitate to call me if she changed her mind. Not a word of it was bullshit.

 

I asked her if she still loved me. She still loves me, and I think that makes this harder. She said goodbye, and asked me to not walk her to her car like I've don't every night before, and then she drove away.

 

It's 3 in the morning here. I have no one to talk to because all my friends are asleep. I'm lonely as hell, and there's nothing I can do about it. So I figured I'd post this so I don't forget what happened at 2:30am the morning of July 31, 2007. You know what they say... Nothing good ever happens after 2AM.

 

Sorry this is so long, but I can't think of anything I feel like I can leave out.

 

 

I was waiting for the punchline

[rondeco]

Sorry lads, that redtube link is nsfw. Sorry Ris.

[ATXRED]

I was waiting for the punchline

 

more of a punch to the gut, sorry about that.

[rargh]

ATX, you'll be feeling like shit right now. I'd advise you to get off the net, go see some friends or family and spill your guts to them. Listen to what they tell you.

 

Go out, get drunk, have a good blub when you get home. Stick the training montage music from Rocky IV on as often as you can and hit the streets!

[ATXRED]

I'd love to do all that, but it'll have to wait until I get off work at 1am GMT...when I'm off of work.

[King Emlyn]

Been there mate. I'd be amazed if she isn't shagging someone else, hope i'm wrong of course, but i'd be amazed if i am.

[Guest PaddyBerger15]

Same advice as on the thread Chris Royle started.

Go round to hers, every night for 2 weeks....break in, spunk in her eyes while she is asleep, and after those 2 weeks she will have scales and infections that bad that you will wonder how you ever fancied her, and there is no chance of anyone else going near her.....when the infection is at its worst and she is all blisters and sores round her eyes and she is feeling really low and disorientated.....fuck one of her friends. That should do the trick.

[redheart]

Come on ATXRED.....she was shagging someone else behind your back.

 

If I was you I would get your revenge by posting some naked pictures of her on here!

[rargh]

Come on ATXRED.....she was shagging someone else behind your back.

 

If I was you I would get your revenge by posting some naked pictures of her on here!

 

It sounds pretty much as if she was doing the dirty. Coming round to yours to trade you in for another bloke and using any traces of guilt to turn on the waterworks while giving you all the cliches? Are you gonna stand for that? :telloff: