Minor achievements you're proud of?

[Harry Squatter]

11 minutes ago, Kevin D said:

 

Aren't you also married with like 3 kids and scrapped, been scrapped and seen scraps in every pub known to man?

 

I always feel like I haven't lived when I read your posts.

Married with 2 kids. Was lucky that my Mrs also liked travelling before the kids came along so we went to quite a lot of places together.

 

As for the pubs, yes seen loads of scraps but haven't been involved in many at all.

[Kevin D]

1 hour ago, Doctor Troy said:

Married with 2 kids. Was lucky that my Mrs also liked travelling before the kids came along so we went to quite a lot of places together.

 

As for the pubs, yes seen loads of scraps but haven't been involved in many at all.

 

At some point, though, you are the common denominator in all these pub fights.

 

I imagine you standing in between two lads, hitting the fella on your right with a belt, tossing the belt to the guy on the left and pretending to be unconscious, Eddie Guerrero style, when the lad on the right turns round.

[Harry Squatter]

6 minutes ago, Kevin D said:

 

At some point, though, you are the common denominator in all these pub fights.

 

I imagine you standing in between two lads, hitting the fella on your right with a belt, tossing the belt to the guy on the left and pretending to be unconscious, Eddie Guerrero style, when the lad on the right turns round.

I just sweep up the eyeballs at closing time.

[Kevin D]

14 minutes ago, Doctor Troy said:

I just sweep up the eyeballs at closing time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Harry Squatter]

[Davelfc]

The kids got me the Lego Apollo Saturn V rocket as part of my birthday present, it's something I've always wanted to build since I first saw it. So the last few days I've been giving it an hour or so and it's a shit of a build. Parts are so difficult to piece together and if you try even the slightest bit of pressure in the wrong place it breaks. 

 

Anyway after 20 minutes of trying to get this bastard thing to click together several parts broke off and threw themselves under furniture. I stared at the lower section of the rocket sitting there in my hands and I really wanted to throw the bastard at the wall and see it smash into pieces. 

 

My minor achievement was that I was able to resist that temptation and go back to it later. Small steps and all that. 

[TheHowieLama]

Is it large enough to use as a door stop?

[Bruce Spanner]

I'm an accredited jeweller from an accident of circumstance years ago.

 

Any of you cunts want some moody gold or gems signed off, hit me up?

[Bjornebye]

11 minutes ago, Bruce Spanner said:

I'm an accredited jeweller from an accident of circumstance years ago.

 

Any of you cunts want some moody gold or gems signed off, hit me up?

Lad who used to work for me handed his notice in to go and work with his brother "knocking for Gold" he rang me after about a month and they'd been to Bristol and all South Wales, making a fucking fortune. The lad was a bit of a squirt to be honest but he made a serious wedge. Basically giving skint people money for old rope. Mental. 

[Bruce Spanner]

Just now, Bjornebye said:

Lad who used to work for me handed his notice in to go and work with his brother "knocking for Gold" he rang me after about a month and they'd been to Bristol and all South Wales, making a fucking fortune. The lad was a bit of a squirt to be honest but he made a serious wedge. Basically giving skint people money for old rope. Mental. 

 

Yeah, there was a gold rush, pardon the pun, and by accident I ended up working for a company involved, they saw potential in me, i was just killing time between MA's but fancied a few days off trianing on the company shilling, but accepted their stupid, misguided advances.

 

Anyhow's yeah I can do all that shit, diamonds, gold the whole shebang.

 

Lost them a small fortune due to my apathy to everything I'd learnt.

[Section_31]

1 hour ago, Bruce Spanner said:

I'm an accredited jeweller from an accident of circumstance years ago.

 

Any of you cunts want some moody gold or gems signed off, hit me up?

 

Ain't that some beautiful thing?

 

 

[Kevin D]

Fuggetabuddit.

[Section_31]

1 minute ago, Kevin D said:

Fuggetabuddit.

 

You ask anybody in the five burrows about Bruce from Mulberry Street, he's known.

[Kevin D]

Raquel Welsh is a major piece of ass.

[Bruce Spanner]

3 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

 

You ask anybody in the five burrows about Bruce from Mulberry Street, he's known.

Once bought a tin chain coated in gold spray paint for about £400, I’m not good at this.

 

If I’m known as anything I’m know as ‘that bellend who’ll buy anything as he’s too distracted listening to music to care’ 

 

I’m OK with that as an obituary if it comes to it.

 

 

[Bjornebye]

11 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

 

You ask anybody in the five burrows about Bruce from Mulberry Street, he's known.

From a fiend to a fiend

[Kevin D]

Friend of a friend, but no friend of ours.

[Bjornebye]

Forget about sonny queg 

[Section_31]

A while ago the old girl next door said to me 'sometimes I can hear your wife singing, she's got the voice of an angel.'

 

But it was actually me.

[YorkshireRed]

John Robertson told me I had a “cracking left foot”. 

[Remmie]

Staying at a mate's flat in Ukraine. The toilet is blocked, I am most likely the culprit and it's just taken him over an hour to unblock it. 

[dockers_strike]

9 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

John Robertson told me I had a “cracking left foot”. 

Emlyn Hughes told me I had a club foot! He didnt really, I just made that bit up!

[Clem H Fandango]

Saved a pen from Andy King. 

 

Being the pool singles champion in Swindon when I was 14.

 

Buying ciggies at 13 was probably my greatest mi or achievement.

 

 

[Remmie]

19 minutes ago, Remmie said:

Staying at a mate's flat in Ukraine. The toilet is blocked, I am most likely the culprit and it's just taken him over an hour to unblock it. 

Update, I've gone for another shit in it. Sadly I didn't block it this time! 

[Rico1304]

I needed 75g of butter for a recipe the other day and cut off 74g first time.