The world of a woman.

[Spy Bee]

Out of potato's what?

The potato's potatoe Mr Quayle!

[bri]

she thought poppadoms were made out of potato's. I know!!!!! ace

[bri]

when I asked her when was the last time she saw a 1ft wide potato she replied "that they liquidize them and put it on the heat.

 

I was nearly dead on the floor

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

she thought poppadoms were made out of potato's.

 

Who is this 'potato' fella that you're talking about?

 

Seriously, though. Win yoursel' a curry.

[bri]

i should of upped it to a sit in curry.

[Juniper]

Watching the f**tball last night. 14 minutes in she looks at the timer on the screen and says quite shocked.

 

"Eyy?!? It's not quarter to three is it?!?" No love, it's 14 minutes and 45 seconds into the m*tch and it's nightime outside.

 

(given that it was counting up every second I have no idea how this question came to be and how it didn't twigg)

 

Also, the same viewing event she mentions, "Why havent they scored yet? someone needs to start playing like Miles Davis".

 

Think she meant P*le

[lifetime fan]

Talking the bird tonight, her ol fella aint to special at the moment and I was trying to reassure her.

 

I tell her he was looking better today than he had been of late and that he could pass for 56 instead of 66.

 

She turns round to me and says, 'he's always looked excatly the same for as long as I can remember, he was bald when I was young, has always had the same style glasses, always dressed the same way and has always been the same height'.

[Wor Horse]

Just seen this on facebook what sone bird has said to my mate

 

That's pretty amazing babe, being called patrick and being born on st patricks day

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Just seen this on facebook what sone bird has said to my mate

 

That's pretty amazing babe, being called patrick and being born on st patricks day

 

I bet you mate is happy. Those are the sort of thick tarts you get to bang easily.

[Wor Horse]

He'll be in there tonight, no doubt about it.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

He'll be in there tonight, no doubt about it.

 

You're just trying to keep me awake.

[Wor Horse]

Hahaha.

 

I'll give you an update if he does.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Hahaha.

 

I'll give you an update if he does.

 

I can't wait. Better than readers wives this. Might nudge the missus when i fall into bed in a minute. " Facebook stories saved my love life. I've had a stiffy thanks to Facebook. The new blue tablet... Viagra ? nope..Facebook.

 

Only joking mate. PM me the gory details.

[The Special One]

My mate's girlfriend messaged him thanking him for all the morning glories. I hope to God she's talking about flowers.

[Paulie Dangerously]

Girl I work with is a bit dim, and by dim I mean thick. Yesterday she trumped herself on lunch time.

 

She looked into the concave side of a spoon and exclaimed "WHY AM I UPSIDE DOWN?!" and began to turn the spoon upside down (still looking at the concave side) "WHY ISN'T IT WORKING?"

 

She then grabbed another spoon and checked if it was the same in that one as well. She literally spent 10 minutes then alternately looking into the two spoons and turning them round trying to right her image

[Lucky Pierre]

Girl in work yesterday giving life advice: "You have to learn to be awake from the moment your eyes are open."

 

Rene Descartes eat your heart out.

[Dr.Filth]

Two for the price of one here.

 

My mum asked the missus to take a watch to the shop for a new battery the other day, while she was at it she took another couple of old ones with her to change theirs.

 

It turned out one needed a new battery but the other 2 were broken, so she asked the woman behind the counter to tie an elastic band around the good one so she could tell which one was working!!

 

And she did!!!

[Faustus]

One of my mum's mates had a meeting in York a few years back so she drove to it with a car load of women in the car. They got lost on the way back and saw a sign on the motorway saying 'The North'. "Oh we'll follow that then, seeing as we live in the north," she said.

 

They only went and ended up in fucking Scotch Corner.

[AJBlaikie]

In an office I work in a woman came in the other day saying she had seen a hand grenade outside the building. This lead to a discussion amongst a group of women about how they should deal with it and should they get the police involved.

 

One of the men in the office suggested he go down with her to look at it. The man came back up laughing at her as it was an old green stress ball.

[sparta7]

Also on Radio1:

 

Interviewer: "Who would you give a Noble Peace Prize to?"

 

Woman 1: "Cheryl Cole. She's amazing. She's a role model with her fashion and that..."

 

Woman 2: "probably the obvious: David Beckham."

 

Yeah, obvious.

 

errrmh....

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

One of my mum's mates had a meeting in York a few years back so she drove to it with a car load of women in the car. They got lost on the way back and saw a sign on the motorway saying 'The North'. "Oh we'll follow that then, seeing as we live in the north," she said.

 

They only went and ended up in fucking Scotch Corner.

 

Classic.

 

 

[Ezekiel 25:17]

She's on absolute fire today, she was completing an application form for a new job before and declared "oh, this is solid !", I said to her "why, what are you stuck on ?", she said........"well, what the hell is my County ??" she'd also put down her nationality as 'white'.

 

A girl came in today and said "The sunbed shop by ours last night got ram raided", she said "oh, it's always chocker in there !".

Edited March 19, 2010 by Ezekiel 25:17

[Groan]

Upon landing at Sharm a few weeks ago, we were queing at Passport Control. Some fella was praying on a mat on the other side of the arrival lounge. Cue my missus "why's that fella doing press ups?".

[Uncle_Meat]

One of my mum's mates had a meeting in York a few years back so she drove to it with a car load of women in the car. They got lost on the way back and saw a sign on the motorway saying 'The North'. "Oh we'll follow that then, seeing as we live in the north," she said.

 

They only went and ended up in fucking Scotch Corner.

 

 

<small voice>

 

I've done that.

 

</sv>

 

 

Years ago at daft o'clock in the pissing down rain coming home from a bike rally in Morecambe. Got utterly confused coming out of Morcambe/Lancaster and finally found a road pointing towards the M6. Got there and saw the sliproad for "M6 North". Great, I thought, Liverpool is North.

 

Anyway, cut a long story (and a long journey) short, I was in Penrith before I realised.

[Mel Wood]

A girl I knew was insistent that if she ever got married she wouldn't be taking her new husband's surname 'Because I don't agree with it always being the man's name. I'm not taking any man's name'.

 

Righto then. You just stick with your maiden name, love, that came from your dad, then.

 

And yes she was a bit of a weirdo.