Premier League Round Up (Oct 19-212019)

[tlw content]

First on Match of the Day this week were Villa and Brighton. Surprising, given that Chelsea, Spurs and City all played on Saturday. Amusing too, because so did Everton, but there’s more chance of a satisfactory outcome to Brexit than there is of the Blues getting the top slot on a Saturday night.

 

They were on third though, because Children in Need were sponsoring the game and the BBC therefore wanted to give it the publicity it deserved. Maybe next time they can get Comic Relief  to sponsor them and they might get top billing?

 

I’ll get to the Blues in due course, but Villa and Brighton were deemed more important by MOTD so who am I to argue?

 

Brighton took the lead in contentious circumstances thanks to some bizarre refereeing by David Coote. He ignored a clear foul on the edge of the box but probably immediately realised his mistake as he then punished Hourihane for a perfectly executed challenge a second later. He booked the poor bastard as well. Scandalous. Brighton scored from the free-kick too, jut to rub Villa’s noses it further.

 

That was as good as it got for them though, as Aaron Mooy, one of my former boys before he fell out of favour for reasons I can’t remember, was then sent off for two quick bookings. The first was for needlessly fucking about to prevent Villa taking a free-kick. The second was for a needless foul on Grealish. Kicking Grealish is one sure fire way to get back on my good side though.

 

Villa then thought they’d equalised through Hourihane, only for VAR to…. get this….. OVER-RULE the ref and disallow the goal for a dubious foul on the keeper. It might have been a foul, and if the ref had given it then it was one of those 50-50 calls where you can understand either decision. You know what it defo wasn’t? CLEAR AND OBVIOUS. Yet they overturned it.

 

Fucking shambles, but I guess it’s a lot easier for a senior ref in the office to over-rule a YTS ref like this hapless fuck than it is for the hapless YTS chump (who was on video duty the next day) to over-rule Martin Atkinson at Old Trafford.

 

The decision didn’t cost Villa in the end as Grealish prodded home from close range soon after to draw them level. Brighton did really well and looked as though they’d held on, but with the last kick of the game Matt Targett fired past the outstanding Matt Ryan to break their hearts.

 

How has Targett ended up at Villa? He’s highly rated isn’t he? He’s even been linked with us a couple of times but he’s playing for Villa. That said, they’re probably better than Southampton and he doesn’t have Bertrand blocking his path, so it’s working out well for him.

 

City fielded a centre back pairing of Fernandinho and Rodri at Selhurst Park but still won easily and kept a clean sheet. I said a few weeks ago when Laporte and Stones got injured that there are some games where they could wheel Richard Dunne out of the boozer and stick him at centre half and still not concede, and this is one of them.

 

On paper it looked a tricky game as Palace actually have a surprisingly good record against Guardiola’s City. They’ve had more joy than most, put it that way, but just like their current league position it’s more down to luck than good judgement and City never broke sweat.

 

Jesus opened the scoring with an attempted header that actually hit his shoulder. Jammy bastard. It was obvious from the first whistle that Palace were defending far too deep but they’re a Hodgson side so… *shrugs*. Their centre halves should have been wearing wellies as they were so far back at one point I swear they were almost in the fucking Thames.

 

David Silva volleyed in a fine second a minute later, with Palace’s defence again camped inside their own box. The only surprise was there were no more goals after that. There should have been, as De Bruyne was brought down in the box for what looked like a clear penalty. Anthony Taylor wasn’t interested (no really) and VAR didn’t over-rule him, because, y’know, he’s a senior ref.

 

City weren’t happy and rightly so, but don’t worry lads, Manchester’s finest is in charge of us this weekend so he’ll do his best to make it up to you then I’m sure.

 

Benteke came off the bench with ten minutes left and almost scored with his first touch, but his powerful header was brilliantly turned onto the bar by Ederson. Great save that to be fair. Ederson also denied Zaha as Hodgson belatedly realised that with no centre backs in the opposition side, it might actually be worth, y’know, having a bit of a go.

 

While Norwich and Wolves are taking it to City and actually beating them, Roy was “taking a lot of comfort” from his side “not letting their heads drop against such a fantastic side” and because they “asked one or two questions” of City. Yeah well done, when’s the fucking parade?

 

Palace are exactly who I thought they were. A bottom six team riding their luck and punching miles above their weight. They’ll finish bottom six, you just watch. The shithouses.

 

 

This is just a teaser, click to view the full article

 

Please note that PL Round Ups are only available to website subscribers. Subscriptions cost just £2 a month (you need to register first) and can be purchased here. 

[Trumo]

Everton sponsored by Red Nose Day? Lenny Henry had better close down his social media for all the shite aimed his way by fewming bloos.

[suzy]

I tend to mutter ‘knob head’ when I see Brendan too!

[sir roger]

Loved the comment about Brendan's notebook , ffs normal size ones are only 50p in the Home & Bargain.

 

On a similar topic another of my pet hates is that clipboard with cartoons on it that is brandished in front of substitutes as they are trying to get on the pitch. Poor little Shaq only gets about 30 seconds a game and some jabroni is trying to steal 20 of them by waving some inconsequential tactical shite under his nose like it's the Declaration of Independence.

[Tj hooker]

Great read this week Dave had me laughing that 

[Anubis]

 

Quote

I know I’ve said it before but I’m going to keep saying it. I hate Brendan’s little fucking notepad and I’m convinced he never writes anything relevant in it. It’s purely for show, to make him look like he’s paying attention. I don’t think I bear him any ill will, yet my immediate, instinctive reaction any time I see him on my screen these days is to mutter “knobhead”. Is that just me?