Premier League Round Up (Nov 7-8 2015)

[tlw content]

UKIP had a rare victory over the Conservatives as a solitary Marco Arnautovic strike was enough for Stoke to down Mourinho-less Chelsea at the Britannia. The result leaves the champions fifth from bottom and just three points above the relegation zone. They aren’t going to stay there but it’ll be fun while it lasts.

Chelsea actually played well but when you’re in this kind of hole it’s tough to get out. Was it significant that their best performance in weeks came with Mourinho not in the building? We’ll see I suppose, but this was the best I’ve seen them play all season, they were ridiculously unlucky to lose this game. Still, never mind eh?

Is it wrong that I’m not hating Costa as much these days? Pretty sure it's because he's not scoring anymore, and if that changes he'll be public enemy number one two and three again, but right now I just find him funny, he’s such a fucking baddie he should be in the WWE. The thing with Shawcross where he’s telling him he stinks was just pure pantomime villain stuff, and what was all that crap with the steward? No matter how many times I watch it I can’t see anything untoward happening, and if it was anyone else I’d completely dismiss it as nothing.

Thing is though, can you say for certain that he didn’t step on the steward’s foot intentionally while making it look like it was completely accidental? I can’t, in fact, I’d say there’s every chance he probably knew exactly what he was doing but there’s no way to prove that, which is why the whole thing looks ridiculous.

Most strikers go out on the field thinking about scoring goals. As kids they no doubt dreamt about scoring in cup finals or in famous stadiums. Costa is a different animal entirely, you can tell he goes out there just thinking about what dastardly shit he can pull to get under his opponent’s skin. I wonder what he was like as a kid; did he practice standing on people’s toes or blowing snot into his hand before flicking into another kid’s face? And did he look like he was in his forties back then too?

He was crap again in this game, and when he’s not firing Chelsea are bang average. Think about it, at the start of last season when he was banging in goals Chelsea were running away with it. Their form in the second half of the season when he tailed off was patchy, but they were so far ahead it didn’t matter. The season before when they didn’t have him, they finished below us. Steve Bruce isn’t right about many things, but when he said a team is only as good as it’s centre forward he was right.

The decision not give a penalty for Butland’s challenge on Remy was a disgrace though, and it has more wide reaching consequences than just screwing over Chelsea. Remy hurdled the keeper and as a result lost his balance and failed to convert what would have been an open goal. We want players to be honest and stay on their feet, but if this is what happens when they do then don’t go slating the next player who makes no attempt to avoid contact and just lets the keeper bring him down, because there’s no reward whatsoever for being honest. Mourinho will probably fine him a month’s wages for that shit, and the next time he plays he’ll be giving it the full Ashley Young at every opportunity, and it'll be the fault of this ref.

Good result for Stoke though. They’re such a weird team, a complete miss mash of good and shite. Arnautovic, Shaqiri and Bojan all playing behind lone striker Jon fucking Walters is like having a fancy shmancy crimbo tree decorated in diamond encrusted baubles, but instead of having a nice shiny star on the top, you have a big pile of dogshit instead.

Arnautovic and Shaqiri are defo the type of lads you see in the gym watching themselves lifting weights in the big mirrors.

 

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[Trumo]

Regarding the idea that playing on Thursday nights is a disadvantage for the following weekend, it's true to the extent that a team playing on Thursday nights in the Europa League will always be playing catch-up to those around them in the league because Sunday is the earliest they can play whereas the others may well have played a day before and got a good result, or at least had 1 or 2 days extra rest prior to their own league game on the Sunday.

 

Also, even if you play a second string in the Europa League game and save your best players for the following league game, the manager and coaching staff don't get that extra rest, so they themselves might not be fully fresh and firing for Sunday. And it's worse if they had to travel to somewhere like Russia and only got back on Friday in the early hours, as there is even less time to recover and prepare for a game on Sunday.

 

That's the situation we found ourselves in with the trip to Kazan followed by the home game against Palace. I'm certain that Pardew asked his players to be more physical and forceful in their pressing and running as he realised we might be less than fresh. None of the other English clubs in Europe have had such a schedule. Both Chelsea and Man Utd had at least 4 days to recover and prepare for their weekend league games after travelling to Kiev and Moscow respectively. We'll see how Spurs are affected after they play Chelsea at home less than 3 days after travelling to Baku in Azerbaijan at the end of the month. 

[Through Ball]

I'm not too sure about Steve Bruce's centre forward theory. Crystal Palace doesn't have a single centre forward that's even decent, but they're a pretty good side. As we ourselves just found out yet again...

[dave u]

I'm not too sure about Steve Bruce's centre forward theory. Crystal Palace doesn't have a single centre forward that's even decent, but they're a pretty good side. As we ourselves just found out yet again...

 

It still applies to Palace up to a point. It's why they're shite at home and brilliant away. They've won 10 of 14 aways under Pardew. That's pretty incredible really. Sometimes away from home they play Bolasie up top, whereas at home he'll be out wide with one of their shite centre forwards in the team.

[razor]

Giroud and Vertonghen got into a spot of handbags, and never before has that expression been more apt. What an absolute pair of fannies those two are. Not exactly Mick Harford v Brian Kilcline is it? Modern football, it’s all shit haircuts, sleeve tattoos, luminous boots and trying to get each other sent off. I’d love nothing more than to have a time machine where I could go back to the mid 80s every weekend and then write about those games instead.

 

Repped.  You could also have gone for Joe Jordan v Larry Lloyd.