Are you a 'tipper' when finishing a bag of crisps?

[Pidge]

I stick my finger through the bottom of the packet to get the last bit of salty vinagerness.

 

There isn't an option for that because I'm a one off, a renegade, a lone wolf, a loose cannon, a crisp packet fingering cunt.

 

I do this too...

[Anny Road]

You are not a black swan This is black swan

Don't project your deviant fantasies onto me just because I eat crisps properly. (You've never studied science have you)

[A Red]

I tip them into the palm of my hand then lick them off. The final act is to roll the bag up, tie it into a knot and chuck it in the bin

[Lee909]

Studied

I have studied certain scenes from that film in finer detail than the Zapruder film

[Moctezuma]

Dig in to that foil wrp and give me that ultra salty hit... hmmm 100% pure Rheinberg sharpness you can't beat it.

[Jairzinho]

I tip them into the palm of my hand then lick them off. The final act is to roll the bag up, tie it into a knot and chuck it in the bin

 

Well, obviously you tie the bag into a knot. Everyone does this, Shirley?

[Kevin D]

Well, obviously you tie the bag into a knot. Everyone does this, Shirley?

This thread is even more of a disgrace.

[Lee909]

Well, obviously you tie the bag into a knot. Everyone does this, Shirley?

The only time you tie a knot is if you have pissed in the bag and plan to throw it at someone

[A Red]

Well, obviously you tie the bag into a knot. Everyone does this, Shirley?

You'd be surprised at the number of people that dont. Shocking.

[A Red]

The only time you tie a knot is if you have pissed in the bag and plan to throw it at someone

Have you ever had a salty bellend?

[TheHowieLama]

I start by tipping the bag FFS.

[Lee909]

Have you ever had a salty bellend?

Never try it with salt and vinegar

[Anny Road]

Have you ever had a salty bellend?

Ive left a salty bag behind when I have forgot.

[Bjornebye]

 I remember hearing someone walk past my tent at a festival one year and he just said "try shitting in a bag". I don't know why or who too but he said it, and it was fucking side splitting.

 

 Another time (I was there but was asleep when this happened) my mate was in his tent, off his face about 4 in the morning trying to get some kip when he heard someone say "You can't shit there mate" right near all our tents. He got out the tent (must have taken him ten minutes because he was wired out of his brain) and some dirty cunt had left a log right next to his tent. He doesn't know who or why it was his tent they picked in a field of hundreds of them but they did. Thinking about it, it was probably him who did it but his story still cracked me up.

 

Hope this helps you wannabe Hycainth Bucket types overcome your horror at real men tipping crisps into their gobs like they fucking well should.

[VladimirIlyich]

I'm a tipper and a shaker...it doesn't half sting my cock with Salt and Vinegar though.

[Captain Turdseye]

Only in the privacy of my own home.

 

I'm happy being a repulsive deviant but have no desire to advertise the fact.

This. Sometimes I'll even start tipping as soon as I've opened the bag. Only works with smaller crisps like Hula Hoops and blag Frazzles.

[Mook]

 I remember hearing someone walk past my tent at a festival one year and he just said "try shitting in a bag". I don't know why or who too but he said it, and it was fucking side splitting.

 

 Another time (I was there but was asleep when this happened) my mate was in his tent, off his face about 4 in the morning trying to get some kip when he heard someone say "You can't shit there mate" right near all our tents. He got out the tent (must have taken him ten minutes because he was wired out of his brain) and some dirty cunt had left a log right next to his tent. He doesn't know who or why it was his tent they picked in a field of hundreds of them but they did. Thinking about it, it was probably him who did it but his story still cracked me up.

 

Hope this helps you wannabe Hycainth Bucket types overcome your horror at real men tipping crisps into their gobs like they fucking well should.

 

I remember a lad on another Liverpool forum saying he'd had a blow job whilst taking a shit.

[Moctezuma]

I remember a lad on another Liverpool forum saying he'd had a blow job whilst taking a shit.

 

Jesus that's grim. A mate once said he'd had a night of intense shagging combined with "anal chaos" dure to multiple curries in the days beforehand. Said he had to keep running to the bog and turning on the shower so she couldn't hear the torrent.

[Guest Numero Veinticinco]

I started the anti-bean brigade

Negged, you spiteful concentration camp loving shithouse.

[Bjornebye]

First time I shagged my current missus I had a similar issue but it was wind and not shit. We had been 'dating' about a month and still hadn't fucked, went round her's one night with wine and we ordered pizza and watched some films. Ended up drunk and fucking in bed and I was holding this huge booze/pizza fart in but knew full well that as soon as I shoot my bolt i'm going to let out a fucking whopper. had to stop mid shag and say I needed a piss, went in the bog, turned the taps on, flushed the bog and sure enough let it out. Came back out and she wasn't in her room, she was downstairs on the phone to her best friend asking if its normal for a man to need a piss mid-shag. Funny looking back at that because now I fart in-front of her all the time and often get her involved in the whole scenario by either wafting it towards her, cup-caking her or stuffing her head under the duvet.

 

and the blow-job shit story.... I read a book called 'I hope they serve beer in hell' and that story is in that. He might have stolen it from that. I refuse to believe there is more than 1 woman in this world who would get on the mic while the fella is curling one out.

[Sugar Ape]

My mate once ate a burger whilst taking a shit as he was short on time and had a taxi due to take him the airport.

[Sugar Ape]

Negged, you spiteful concentration camp loving shithouse.

 

Fuck you, you fucking Wes Brown lookalike.

 

 

[Bjornebye]

grim as fuck eating a burger on the bog.

 

does NV look like wes brown? cunt.

[Mook]

Fuck you, you fucking Wes Brown lookalike.

 

 

 

I've seen some insults in my time but that is a thing of rare fucking beauty.

[Boss]

A blumpkin, thats for the times when you aren't AC slatering.