Wanking into a banana

[Xherdan]

Was watching 'Weeds' this morning on Netflix. The stoner guy was talking the young guy about wanking and one of things he suggested was wanking into a banana. He also suggested heating it slightly in the microwave prior to use.

 

I have never heard or used this technique before but would like to hear the thoughts of the GF on this revelation.

[Lee909]

You tried it didn't you.

The real question you wanted to ask was about burning your dick on banana goo wasn't it.

[Guest davelfc]

Terrible that you missed out on the opportunity to put a poll, so people could vote if they have ever wanked into a piece of fruit. No I haven't but I hate that I'm not wondering about this banana thing.

 

 

I know a lot of people have wanked over a hot apple, but apparently they're going to release a fix to stop the ipad3 heating up.

[Bobby Hundreds]

So is this how Eric turned into a man, it was a metaphor for self sexual awakening.

[Bjornebye]

fuck a duck

[Xherdan]

You tried it didn't you.

The real question you wanted to ask was about burning your dick on banana goo wasn't it.

 

 

 

I might give it a shot later, but im out in a clients office at the moment and they would frown on that sort of thing.

[Xherdan]

Just to explain, you obviously take the fruit out and use the skin. Adding some form of lube is optional.

[dickie mint]

I might give it a shot later, but im out in a clients office at the moment and they would frown on that sort of thing.

 

 

You might get someone PLANTAIN one on you if you get caught.

[Guest davelfc]

Just to explain, you obviously take the fruit out and use the skin. Adding some form of lube is optional.

 

Now you tell me!

[Guest The Chimp]

* scurries off to check banana stash *

 

 

 

[ChrisM]

I'm more of a pint glass full of mince man myself.

[brucespanner]

Edward Dobson, now that name might not mean anything to you lot, but within my social circle he was a candle that burnt to brightly and quickly. Having been raised by overly zealous god folk and home schooled until college age he wasn't exactly well adjusted, let alone adjusted enough to play out with our gang of fucknuts, but for reasons which nobody has ever been able to fathom him and us befriended each other for a year or so.

 

Edward was a virgin until the age of about 24, he'd never even kissed a girl! So he would fill his time, which was ample because he had few friends and even fewer social skills, by practicing his, as yet untested, lovemaking ability on anything, and I really mean anything! Oranges (they sting a lot) toilet roll doused in baby oil and then microwaved to the correct temperature, a deflated football, a specially cut hole in the matress, basically you didn't touch anything in his house through fear he'd fucked it!

 

Anyhow's Edward, fuck only knows how, managed to snare a mate. Asking our advice we obviously said you just piss up her etc this girl was a proper tramp, filth in both ways. The height of Edwards new found sexual prowess was sucking his own cum out of this girls arsehole and telling everybody how much he loved it! Strange boy that Edward.

 

I've countless stories about his stupidity/ignorance and I miss how genuinely fucked up that lad was.

 

To Edward, fucker of all things!

[Unrighteous]

Dear lords above...

[Guest davelfc]

Edward frigger hands

[Alan Sex]

More likely freezing the fucking banana and rogering yourself silly with it.

 

On a different note, I realized this morning just how much I love my cock. Not any cock, just mine. The size, the way it fits into my hand. The girth. Not just any old cock, mine. It's a thing of beauty and elegance. You should be so lucky as to have a cock like mine. I love my cock.

[Magic Sponge]

No, but I've bummed a pineapple.

[Guest ShoePiss]

More likely freezing the fucking banana and rogering yourself silly with it.

 

On a different note, I realized this morning just how much I love my cock. Not any cock, just mine. The size, the way it fits into my hand. The girth. Not just any old cock, mine. It's a thing of beauty and elegance. You should be so lucky as to have a cock like mine. I love my cock.

 

This is my rifle. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

 

My rifle is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.

 

My rifle, without me, is useless. Without my rifle, I am useless. I must fire my rifle true. I must shoot straighter than my enemy who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will...

 

My rifle and myself know that what counts in this war is not the rounds we fire, the noise of our burst, or the smoke we make. We know that it is the hits that count. We will hit...

 

My rifle is human, even as I, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weaknesses, its strength, its parts, its accessories, its sights and its barrel. I will keep my rifle clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready. We will become part of each other. We will...

 

Before God, I swear this creed. My rifle and myself are the defenders of my country. We are the masters of our enemy. We are the saviors of my life.

 

So be it, until victory is Alan Sex's and there is no enemy, but peace!

[JagSquared]

haha that Edward sounds mental.

[VladimirIlyich]

This is similar to a conversation in City of God between two women talking about getting themselves prepared for anal sex by warming up a banana and sticking it up their own arse to simulate a mans cock.

[Delmar]

This thread makes me believe in the goodness of mankind. With bananas, anyway. Then again, what about the feelings of bananas? They are not just some vegetables, there to be used and abused. They are fruits. There is a difference...

[brucespanner]

This thread makes me believe in the goodness of mankind. With bananas, anyway. Then again, what about the feelings of bananas? They are not just some vegetables, there to be used and abused. They are fruits. There is a difference...

 

They're herbs.

[Captain]

* shakes head *

 

* leaves thread *

[odris]

I can't imagine how this works? Surely the inside of the banana once empty would be dry? Are you sure you wouldn't chop the head off the banana, warm it up so the inside itself is mushy then shove your dick up it? Although it wouldn't fit....what's the deal then?

[Xherdan]

It seemed like he was suggesting that you would peel the banana down enough to eat the fruit. You can then pop out the rest of it creating a pocket to dump the muck. The peeled sides are then brought down over the shaft and bobs your uncle. I would use some lube mate. A bit of axel grease maybe.

[Alan Sex]

 

This is my rifle. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

 

My rifle is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.

 

My rifle, without me, is useless. Without my rifle, I am useless. I must fire my rifle true. I must shoot straighter than my enemy who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will...

 

My rifle and myself know that what counts in this war is not the rounds we fire, the noise of our burst, or the smoke we make. We know that it is the hits that count. We will hit...

 

My rifle is human, even as I, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weaknesses, its strength, its parts, its accessories, its sights and its barrel. I will keep my rifle clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready. We will become part of each other. We will...

 

Before God, I swear this creed. My rifle and myself are the defenders of my country. We are the masters of our enemy. We are the saviors of my life.

 

So be it, until victory is Alan Sex's and there is no enemy, but peace!

 

I lack repping power. Would a reacharound suffice?