The Official Cricket Thread

[Tj hooker]

That is absolutely brilliant what a character TMS isn't the same without him 

[sir roger]

He was on that ' Real Marigold Hotel ' on BBC and came across as a perfect gent throughout and seemed to be one of those people that other people want to confide in. It was an 'eclectic' bunch including Nick Cotton , Duncan Bannantyne , Paul Chuckle and Britt Ekland amongst others. His dress sense left a lot to be desired mind. It was a good , gentle watch.

 

[s(k)aturation]

 

I'm in on the whip round, @Remmie

 

I'd pay a fiver a week to hear him talk two minutes of shite about anything.

[lifetime fan]

2 hours ago, Remmie said:

I'll see if I can dig out the message and post it on here. 

 

https://celebvm.com/video/Zvtsbf

Fucking hell Rem, that’s one amazing present! 

[lifetime fan]

1 hour ago, s(k)aturation said:

 

I'm in on the whip round, @Remmie

 

I'd pay a fiver a week to hear him talk two minutes of shite about anything.

I still listen to old episodes of TMS on a Sunday when doing a roast just to hear his voice. 

[s(k)aturation]

21 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:

I still listen to old episodes of TMS on a Sunday when doing a roast just to hear his voice. 

 

Are these available for circulation, link or some such?

 

 

[Jarvinja Ilnow]

10 hours ago, s(k)aturation said:

 

I'm in on the whip round, @Remmie

 

I'd pay a fiver a week to hear him talk two minutes of shite about anything.

"Bear vs a monkey with a knife, old thing?"

[s(k)aturation]

12 minutes ago, Jarvinja Ilnow said:

"Bear vs a monkey with a knife, old thing?"

That's the spirit(s) I guess.

 

 

[Jarvinja Ilnow]

1 hour ago, s(k)aturation said:

That's the spirit(s) I guess.

 

 

As long as nobody asks Bloers about his opinion on beans on a fry-up, he will remain an incontrovertible legend to all.

[s(k)aturation]

38 minutes ago, Jarvinja Ilnow said:

As long as nobody asks Bloers about his opinion on beans on a fry-up, he will remain an incontrovertible legend to all.

 

Blowers could say, I reckon, whatever the fuck he wanted about beans on a fry up and I'd still sit through 4 years of oxygen theft at Cambridge on the off-chance that I might meet and get to engage with someone remotely like him.

 

Mind you, at least... unlike my ex-wife... he didn't go to Oxford - a complete dump.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Jairzinho]

What a complete waste of fucking time this Sri Lanka series has been. They are utter shite.

[Captain Turdseye]

16 hours ago, s(k)aturation said:

 

I did an ad with him once, via landline from London - it was a shit ad, and totally self-indulgent because he was unnecessary to the ad really, I just wanted to use his wonderful voice... it was one of the highlights of my career, even though I was still very very young.  He called me "my dear old thing" at one point, on one of our "successful" takes.  It was around the time that Graeme Hick was trying to qualify for England... and had scored 405 down your way @lifetime fan I think.

Blowers and I discussed Hick and other things cricket, as I just tried to stall the session and buy more time with the great voice man.

And here I was thinking you were qualifying it as a shit ad because you were going to post a clip of it on the next page. 
 

Pathetic. 

[s(k)aturation]

51 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

And here I was thinking you were qualifying it as a shit ad because you were going to post a clip of it on the next page. 
 

Pathetic. 

 

And there I would have been, posting a byte of it on the next page... because you know me to be a better, more shameless self-promoter than that... only to have to sadly admit to you that I no longer... for the first time ever... have a copy of that old ad on me.

 

Still, one for the imaginary wank bank, eh CT?

 

But here's an ad I didn't do, showing a sporting team singing their anthem against a team from Wales, England...

 

 

 

 

 

[Captain Turdseye]

Disgraceful. 

[sir roger]

Keep looking at my phone for messages , but no call up for this one-day series against Pakistan yet.

[sir roger]

The Lanky lad , Mahmood , takes 2 wickets in his first over. 

 

There are 4 players in the England team who I know nothing about (  Phil Salt , John Simpson , Lewis Gregory and Brydon Carse )

 

( For those who haven't seen the story , due to covid protocols England had 8 players ruled out at the last minute and had to put together a totally new squad and drag Stokes back from Durham to captain them )

[Captain Turdseye]

3 down. 
 

Fuck the usual lot off. 

[sir roger]

These are no Sri Lanka , that's for sure.

[Captain Turdseye]

5 down. Stupid running, Sri Lanka style.
 

It’ll be all over by the time I get back from the school run, at this rate.  

[Trumo]

One of the Pakistani players' real name is Shadab Yufiz, but he prefers to go by Shadab Khan.

[Jairzinho]

Phenomenal catch in the women's 20/20 game. 

[Jairzinho]

Raining at the cricket sadly, but they're showing a great feature on Pakistan's problems over the last decade or so.

[Jairzinho]

Chris Gayle, at 41, taking Australia apart -

 

 

[Stickman]

That Phil Salt is looking like a seasoned pro for England already 

 

Should be a decent game this with Pakistan posting 332 

[Jairzinho]

For fuck sake, mate.